Page 125 of The Divine Lies We Weave

Hema rolled her eyes. “Your most pleasurable experience.”

“I—I don’t know if I should share that.”

“Was it with Rajesh?”

Leela flicked a loose crumb off the table. “No.”

Hema smirked. “Liar. I know someone when they’re lovesick.”

“I am not.”

“Are you sure? You haven’t fucked him since being with us?”

Leela’s eyes widened. She respected and enjoyed Hema as company, but she had never been this open with talking about her dalliances with someone.

“I… I… um…”

Hema laughed, head tilting back. “Oh, you are too easy to tease.”

Leela grabbed her hair and shuffled it over her face. “Gee, thanks.”

“Don’t go all shy on me, Leela.” Hema leaned over the table between them. “I am only teasing. This is the first time I have had someone to be this open with. Navya is always in her own head, and well, the others are men.”

“It’s fine. I guess I haven’t ever had this open conversation with someone before, is all.”

“You should,” Hema said, raising her glass. “It’s freeing. So, what was it like?”

“Hema!” Leela shrieked.

Hema rolled her eyes. “Fine. I’ll go first. My first was a woman who dated me for a while before leaving. Ever since then, I’ve found woman after woman. Never really gone without my dues.”

Leela told herself to relax. Hema was merely trying to start an important conversation. Just because her mother would scold her didn’t mean she couldn’t break through the barriers with a trusted friend, and Hema was more than trustworthy.

“Mine was Rajesh,” Leela said, rubbing the rim of her cup. “A few women or men here or there, but…” it always led back to Rajesh.

Hema’s sparkle disappeared, and she cleared her throat. “I didn’t mean to bring up old wounds. If it’s too hard to discuss, don’t force yourself.”

Leela shook her head. “No. I want to talk about it. I should talk about it, so I don’t suppress it all.” She took a deep breath. “Rajesh and I are messy, and the Flames make it all the messier. I just can’t do it.”

Hema grew silent.

“It would never work, so why chase something if it’s doomed?” Leela asked.

“You would give in to your Flames? Let them dictate your lives?”

“What other choice do we have?”

“You could fight,” Hema said, as if it were simple.

Leela wished it were simple. But she couldn’t tell Hema the true reason. She didn’t want to cause any more lustishas or monsters to spill from the sandstorms. She couldn’t be the cause of other people’s pain, and she wasn’t prepared for the hurt in Hema’s gaze if she found out.

“Some fights are worth losing,” Leela mumbled.

Hema sighed, but thankfully, she started a new topic of conversation.

The two sat for what felt like hours, talking about past experiences, their lives, their family, until the liquor had numbed their senses and made their tongues loose.

Leela inched over the table. “That woman has been staring at you all night.”