Page 108 of The Divine Lies We Weave

No. Rajesh couldn’t stand it.

Even if he was, possibly, right.

Rajesh took a steady breath. “When you have loved someone and had to lose them, then come to me and say that to my face. But not until then. Not until you have lost your village to this Flame. Not until you have had to give up the one thing you want to this Flame. Not when the monsters aren’t just around you, but in your head too. Screaming at you to obey.”

Tanmay gulped.

Rajesh didn’t care if he made him nervous. “When you have to do that, then come to me. But for now, I am the captain of this ship. I say we sail north. We sail north. I say we take on the monsters until we find this fucking tree. We do it. End of discussion.”

“I… I… I am sorry, Captain, I didn’t mean to offend you,” Tanmay stammered. “I was merely stating.”

“And now you’re done.” Rajesh pointed to the door. “Go and tell the crew we will stop at the next town and stock up on supplies. No matter where we go, I am the captain, and I say we go north.”

Tanmay quickly scurried out of the room, shutting the door with a bang.

Fury writhed like hungry flames through Rajesh. Before he could control it, the sandstorm had sucked him in. Howling winds flew around him like fingers tearing his soul apart, molding the pieces into the tiny, spindly furybeasts. He screamed as several of the monsters burst from him, spinning into the small creatures and, without another thought, scurried off somewhere into the world.

Rajesh slammed back into his body.

When he woke, he was on the ground, staring up at the ceiling.

A tear slid down his cheek as he realized what he had done. All the anger had been too much to handle and finally broke through. All the emotions he had bottled down. All the anger he had suppressed had torn at him without warning.

Like it often did.

Rajesh screamed into his hands once more.

It wasn’t fair. Any of it. His curse was borne of the vengeful hands of a Flame. And because of that, he couldn’t ever have the one person he wanted in this world. He had to suppress his emotions so the monsters didn’t come out of the sandstorm.

It wasn’t fair.

It wasn’t fucking fair.

None of it.

Yet, he had to keep going. Had to keep putting on a smile so his crew didn’t doubt him. So he could finally get to the wish-fulfilling tree and be rid of this curse.

What if it doesn’t work…? What if the splendid days are gone and this is it…?

You beg for relief and yet wallow in self-pity.

I’m tired… I’m sick of it. All of it. No one ever tells you how you can get sick of yourself. No one knows about my issue, and how can they? How can they know about this curse? You said it yourself. I live in the shadow of my doubts, and you are all I have.

I am you, after all.

I hate you. I hate myself more.

No. You hate the circumstances.

Rajesh shut the Scorpion out as though he were slamming a door in the Flame’s face. He was tired of the Scorpion playing the waiting game. He was tired of the Scorpion not giving him definitive answers.

Rushing to his feet, he grabbed a katar on the way out of his quarters and stormed across the deck, down into the hallways below, until he found Leela’s room.

When he was about to knock, he finally came to his senses. What did he wish to hear on the other side of that door…? More twisted answers? More reasons for the curse to push them further apart?

Careful.

No. No, I’m done being careful.