Page 80 of Life, Love, and Other Messes

I strained to look up. Lisa was standing there with Ollie’s leash in her hand. Ollie was panting next to her and smiling big. “Hey.”

I expected her to toss me the leash and say “here’s your damn dog,” but she sat in the grass next to me. “Are you okay?”

I was hurriedly dusting myself off. The front of my shirt and knees of my jeans were grass-stained and I imagined my face was a mess as well. “I’m fine.”

“So your dog says he’s pissed that we broke up.”

Ollie had flopped next to Lisa and was resting his chin on her knee. He looked tremendously pleased with himself.

“He’s going to court to see if he can live with me instead.”

“If he’s going to pull this shit, he can go right ahead.”

Lisa shook her head at Ollie. “She’s not serious.”

“He knows I’m serious.”

She shrugged. “Well, he missed me.”

I looked down. “I guess.”

“Which is fair because I missed him, too.”

What about me? “Yeah, he was probably worried he wouldn’t ever see you again.”

We stared at one another. “Well,” Lisa finally said. “You made a rather epic effort to keep him away.”

“By breaking up with you?”

“No, right now. I bet the Paulsen’s Ring camera caught that.”

“Shit.”

“Look on YouTube under stunningly handsome dog sends hot mom flying because she denied him visitation.”

Oh. I couldn’t hold back another second. “I’m sorry.”

“For denying him visitation? You should be.”

“No. For all of this.”

She fluffed at what was left of the grass where I’d skidded. “Yeah, they might have to sod.”

“I’m serious.”

Lisa smiled. “I know it. I’ll quit being an ass. I’m sorry, too.”

“I’m sorry I hurt you and I’m sorry I dragged you through all this and—”

“I’m just sorry you felt like you had to break up with me.”

I stared at her. “I’m so messed up, Lisa. All my life I get to where I’ve got somebody so good and then I push them away.”

“I’m not going to go away. So fucking there. I’m not going to go away. Unless you honestly want me to.”

I shook my head. “I don’t want that, but I’m just going to keep freaking out and hurting you and—”

“You don’t listen to me when I say we’re all fucked up, Sam.”