Page 55 of Life, Love, and Other Messes

I went from the beginning. I was nervous at first, but as I started to get into the groove, Lisa slid her arm around me on the back of the chair and laid her cheek on my head. Instead of making me nervous all over again, I felt so settled, so comfortable. She laughed at things I’d hoped were funny, and muttered “oh shit” when something embarrassing happened. I finally stopped at a page break. I’d read a lot longer than I’d first intended. “Then we come to a part where I’m not thrilled about how it connects to the next big scene.”

“God, you write so well, and it’s amazing to hear it in your voice. Thank you,” Lisa said. “I know that wasn’t easy.” She kissed the top of my head and moved back to her sofa.

I missed her right away. “It’s stupid that it isn’t.”

“It’s a work in progress. I assume visual artists don’t often show their work before it’s finished.”

“True.” I thought about that for a long time that night. Jace had referred to what we did as art before, but I’d never heard it from someone else, especially someone whose opinion mattered so much to me. I couldn’t even blame her for laughing about the dinosaur I learned to type on. I just wouldn’t tell her that I still had an IBM Selectric in my attic.

Wednesday evening Lisa came over after dinner. It was one of our usual last-minute hangouts rather than something planned, and I caught myself wondering, as I proofed, if I should have spent a little bit of time with the trimmer. Things were going so slowly I hadn’t thought about it, but what if this just randomly exploded into a huge mass of tension and I wasn’t ready? Veronica and I had ended up in bed on the third date, but then we’d spent a good amount of the second one making out. I wondered if Lisa was thinking the same thing. I wondered if Lisa was thinking of going any further at all.

This obviously wasn’t all in my head, but it was so gentle, so comfortable, that it almost wasn’t sexual. I wanted it to be, at least at some point, but would I be happy with it if it just stayed this way, like friends with some benefits but not others?

Lisa thankfully interrupted my thoughts. She was lying on my sofa, her head near me, scrolling on her phone. “Oh, well, look at that.”

“Huh?”

“Happily, I’m not diseased.”

I closed my laptop. “What?”

“Results from the gyno. Shit you have to do from time to time when your husband is a whore.”

“Oh my God.” I hadn’t thought about that. “Ex-husband,” I reminded her.

“Ex-husband.” Lisa gave a wry laugh. “Thank the good lord. Not that I remember the last time we had sex.” She stretched her arms back and squeezed my leg. “So have you ever been with a man?”

I felt my nose wrinkle. “I kissed a couple boys when I was a kid, but I haven’t slept with a man.”

“I wondered because you’ve never written a straight scene.”

“You write what you know. Anyway, my publisher probably wouldn’t go for it.”

“You do have a target audience.”

“For the romances, anyway.” My phone buzzed then. Mom.

Lisa smirked at me. “Take it.”

“I so don’t want to, but I think I know what it’s about.” I sighed, steeled myself, and clicked the button. “Hi, Mom. How’re you?”

“Hi, Samantha. We’re well, thanks. Missy’s mother has Covid so we’re taking Jeremiah while Missy’s at class.”

“That must be fun.”

Mom made a noise which suggested it was not fun. “Your father likes to bounce him around, but it makes him spit up.”

“He’ll survive. Dad did that with all of them.”

Dad’s voice carried from the other side of the room. “Don’t rat me out.”

“She should bring him to class. I have babies come along from time to time. They’re no trouble.”

“Well, that’s a little…Different.” I could see the look of distaste on Mom’s face. I was pretty sure Lisa could hear because she gave me a look and sat up.

“No, not really. Unless she’s in practicum or something. Then it probably wouldn’t be okay.”

Mom sighed like I was being stupid. I mouthed “I’m funny” to Lisa. She grinned and looked away.