Page 43 of Life, Love, and Other Messes

“You’re full-time at the community college, right? I mean…”

“Yeah.”

“That place probably matters more than any four-year college because it’s free for low-income adults returning to school. That changes lives.”

“I know it. It’s why I love it so much there. She doesn’t bother to listen to any of that.”

“Has she read your books?”

Now I was the one to stare grumpily out the window. It was starting to get dark and a squirrel was up my bird feeder. “A couple.”

“Oh, Sam. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. It is what it is. It is what it’s always been. Nothing is a surprise.”

“I’m still sorry. I assume you aren’t going home for fall break? I think yours is the same week as mine.”

“Oh, no I’m not. Are you going somewhere?”

She gave me a lopsided smile. “June and Elaine and I are going to the beach in Alabama. I don’t know if this is such a good thing, but Elaine’s sister has a place.”

A severe twinge of jealousy rattled my insides. “Wow, for a whole week?”

She nodded. “We’ve never done anything quite so…long.”

I grinned, trying my best to hide what I was really feeling. “Is the furry going?”

“God, I’m going to screw up and call him that to his face! No, he’s going to New York with his husband.”

“That’s a shame.”

Fortunately, Lisa didn’t seem to notice any negative vibes from me. “I’m worried we’ll get sick of one another or get in a big fight or something. And June is really hot…I don’t need to look at her in a bathing suit.”

God damn it. It just keeps coming. “Well, maybe you and June can sneak off together.”

“Uh, she’s severely straight. One boyfriend after another. Like I don’t want to hear about it straight. Anyway, I’ll probably be totally sick of her. She can be a bitch.”

“Lots of alcohol.”

“Yes. And I plan on spending most of my time on the beach with a book, thanks. You okay?”

I nodded quickly. “This.” I gestured at what was left of the Romano’s on the table. “This was fantastic. So much better than tofu and being watched by twenty cats.”

If she realized I’d just compared our dinner to a date, she didn’t let on. “Ha! I’ll say. You don’t like tofu?”

“I do not. Do you?”

“I don’t mind it, but it’s not my favorite. I will never feed you tofu.”

“Thanks.” We sat there, looking at one another, and all at once I could fairly taste the tension. “Let me take your dishes.”

She caught me by the shoulder. “Let me help. But…” Out of nowhere, she wrapped her arms around me. “We’ve both had rough days.”

I melted like a handful of chocolate in the summertime, melted into her until the soft hollows between our bodies were no more. Oh, it felt amazing. I never wanted to let go, and we didn’t for a long time. It was such a long time in coming.

I expected us to be all nervous energy and awkward limbs when we let go, but there was none of that. We just cleaned up dinner together like we’d done it one million times before. It felt so right to me, but I couldn’t possibly let myself wish that it did for her too. I didn’t want to be let down again.

Chapter Eleven