Page 36 of Life, Love, and Other Messes

Instead of running, the cat sniffed at me and let me pet it a little. Its fur was very thick and it let me sink my fingers in and scritch at its neck. Okay, this isn’t bad at all. We were still communing when Maudie came back.

“Tea is on. I see you’ve made friends with Siobhan.”

“Yeah, she’s quite friendly.” I could hear a little purr and felt very good about my cat petting prowess.

“So.” Maudie sat right in the middle and grabbed Siobhan onto her lap. “Do you spend all your free time writing?”

Teaching was technically my full-time job, but I never looked at it that way. It was a means to an end, a steady paycheck while I did my real work, which was writing. I didn’t correct her. “Most of it.”

“What are you working on now? May I ask?”

I thought about what I’d been writing around Lisa, but referred back to the project I’d been editing with Jace. “Another thriller. Body in the trunk. You know.”

“How do you learn all the police jargon and how autopsies work and that stuff?’

“I have a couple cops, a coroner, and doctors who answer questions for me. It’s actually pretty easy since I grew up in a small town…I know a lot of people from there who are really useful and they’re excited to share what they do.”

“Do you Google things like how to dispose of a body?”

I grinned. “If I ever get arrested and they confiscate my computer I’m going down. Do you write at all?”

Maudie waved me off. “Not at all. I’m more of a sudoku kind of girl. I love math games. I do read a lot, but I’m more into numbers.”

I’d never met someone I considered to be a reasonably intelligent person who had so few books on her shelves. I decided to give her the benefit of the doubt and imagined there were more in another room or that she went to the library every week. “I’ll do crosswords, but I don’t get along well with numbers.”

Maudie got our tea, which had a subtle floral taste, and asked if I wanted to watch a movie. I agreed, not sure what else we had to talk about. We settled on a light comedy, although I would have really liked a good mystery. That was okay, though, in that it gave me time to think about how things were going. It hadn’t been bad, really. We didn’t seem to have much in common at all, but I’d dated people who were far more different from me. It hadn’t lasted long in those cases, granted, but they’d been worth a few dates and we’d had some good sex.

Could I even imagine that? I was thinking about it and half following the plot when Maudie scooted across the sofa toward me and took my hand. It was not at all a slick move, and I’d never been with someone on a first date who worked that way. Like now it’s time to hold hands. I didn’t really mind, so I intertwined my fingers with hers and set my teacup on the coffee table to keep from spilling. A calico entered from the other room, jumped up on the arm of the sofa, and sniffed at me.

I was still puzzling about what was going on when Maudie leaned even closer to me. I was pressed up against the arm of the sofa and she sort of settled in, her cheek coming first to my shoulder, then, while I thought about it, my left breast.

I was floored. Hand holding, sure, but this was not my usual first date type activity. It wasn’t like she was stroking or playing with my breast or anything, just kind of snuggling in. It wasn’t what I’d consider to be overtly sexual, but it was screamingly forward. That was when I remembered the fetish.

So where did we go from here? Did she remove my shirt like it’s just another step in the process? Was this supposed to turn me on or just be one-sided? If we’d been together for a while, it might have been normal sweet cuddling, but I just couldn’t help but second-guess everything. The movie continued. The new cat curled up next to my shoulder. My heart pounded, not from excitement, but from nerves. While I thought about it, Maudie sort of nudged around, like I was a pillow and she was trying to get a better spot. I almost expected her to sit up and fluff me with her hands.

I was pretty sure I didn’t fluff. I thought I should maybe put an arm around her, but she still had my hand in my lap, so I sat very still and let her root around. I tried to remain completely still so as not to disturb the cat, but it was difficult. The movie continued. I realized that I really wanted to go home. By the time the movie finished, I was pretty sure my boob did not make the cut, because she clicked off the TV and popped right up.

The cat behind me had apparently been sound asleep, because it jumped about a foot. It must have felt the need for traction in order to escape, because it dug its back claws into my neck and kicked off like it was a lap swimmer performing a turn.

I jumped up too, my hand moving to my neck instinctively.

Maudie’s eyes went wide. “Oh God, you’re bleeding.”

“Oh…No…It’s fine.”

“Natalie, you silly. We don’t scratch.”

Apparently, Natalie thought otherwise. She hid on one of the dining room chairs and blinked at us. “I should get going,” I said.

“I’m so sorry…I can get you a bandage or…”

“No, I’m really okay. This was lovely. Thank you for dinner.”

“And the company,” Maudie said, still looking flustered. “I’ll text you.”

“Okay. Good night.”

The night air was still humid and sticky, but it felt nice and cool on my cheeks. I had no idea what had just happened. My breast had been kneaded like a loaf of bread and my neck stung like crazy. Once I got into the car, I made sure Maudie wasn’t watching through the front window and tried to look at my cat slash in the mirror, but I couldn’t get the right angle. That had seriously been one of the most uncomfortable evenings of my life.