Page 71 of The Cowboy’s Reckoning

*

I don’t want to lose you.

Lil wrapped her arms around herself as she leaned against the goat pen, out of sight of her sister who was weeding the garden. Jordan had said it wasn’t a declaration, but it had sounded like one. A declaration she’d convinced herself would never come because, hey, they understood one another and where they needed their relationship to stay. But now Jordan’s thinking had changed, and she needed to figure out what to do about it.

What could she do, other than gracefully retreat?

He was her landlord and her lover, the very circumstance she’d told herself that she wouldn’t fall into. But she had, and, truthfully, she’d loved it until it started to edge from nebulous to concrete. Oh yeah. She’d managed to convince herself that things would stay as they were and that she wouldn’t start falling for the guy.

Ah, Jordan. She pulled in a breath and dropped her head back to stare at the rafters.

They were in an emotionally charged situation, with shots fired and ranch sales and Jordan discovering things about his biological father. Perspectives were skewed by all the outside chatter, and then there was, of course, her fear factor that refused to be quieted. Maya had been right about that, although Lil doubted she’d confess to her sister.

A step back was in order. A slow, common-sense retreat back to the way things were.

Damn but she hoped that Jordan would play along.

*

When Jordan returned to the ranch, he had to pull around Lil’s truck and trailer, which were parked dead center in the drive, in order to park in his usual spot. Lil was attaching the trailer chains to the truck bumper.

“Going somewhere?” he asked after getting out of his truck.

“I’m going to pick up my horses from your place.” She clipped the second chain into place, then stood, the wind lifting her dark hair. “I’ll ride there one last time, then bring them back.”

He wasn’t surprised after he’d screwed up the night before. Time and patience were in order here. She’d made it clear that she wasn’t interested in commitment, and he’d essentially told her that he was. I don’t want to lose you was a pretty bald statement. But Lil was playing it cool, and he knew that unless he pushed things they weren’t going to discuss why she was bringing the horses home. Not yet anyway.

“What happened with your meeting?” she asked.

He pushed the brim of his hat up. “I ended things for good. I’m not dealing with these people. Like Wade said, if the sale of the Reed property goes through, then it goes through.”

Lil nodded as if it was the outcome she’d expected. “Was Libby the person who made the offer?”

“She was. She was talking about trading properties. If I sell her the Willow Creek then she’d let go of her offer on the Reed.”

“Extortion, then.”

“That’s how I see it. I cut ties. We’re done.” He jerked his head to her trailer. “How about I go with you to the Tree Fork? I can ride one of the horses for you. We can talk through the meeting.” He could act like they’re just friends.

She needed space, but they still had other, nonpersonal matters to work through. He was in her life no matter what and they needed to cut the awkwardness.

Lil appeared to be of the same mind. “I could use the help.”

“Just let me change and I’ll be right out.”

Forty-five minutes later, they were riding through the trees behind his home ranch. No one, save Estelle, had been home, so he’d been able to help Lil saddle the horses without having to give a blow by blow of his meeting to Wade and his brothers.

“You think Libby’s reaction to the cow shooting was sincere?” Lil asked as they rode down the mountain trail they’d ridden up in near silence.

Yes, he’d come to talk, but it had taken a while before he broached the subject. Instead, he’d focused on the day. Lil. Damage control. Was it possible?

“My gut said her reaction was genuine, but she could be a really good actress,” he allowed.

“So you don’t think she’s the one who hired Joe Whitney to shoot the cow,” Lil said, guiding her horse around the end of a log that jutted into the trail. “Maybe we should talk to him. Not that I think he’d admit to anything, but maybe he would?”

Jordan liked the we part, but the rest was a pipe dream. “The chances of finding Joe are slim, at least until he goes to work again, and I can guarantee you that he’s not one to offer information.”

That was what was digging at him. The unknowns. Like Lil had once said, it was better to fight something tangible.