Page 136 of Taint My Soul

“Um, wait, look…” I point at the flower shop ahead of us. “I need to get some flowers, please.”

“Sure.” Saint steps on the brakes, and the car comes to a slow halt. He parks by the road, and we both exit at the same time. I climb onto the sidewalk and look up at the neon sign lighting the entrance. Through the transparent glass windows and walls, I see the young lady standing behind the counter and attending to a few customers in line.

“Are you coming in?” The bell chimes softly, pulling me out of my thoughts. Saint stands at the entrance, holding the door for me. I stride through, and he shuts the door behind us.

I take a breath of warm air around me, carrying the scent of roses and earth. It smells alive in a way I haven’t felt in a long time. Bucket of flowers crowds the room. Cream Peonies. Sunflowers. Daises. Roses.

A couple laughs as they hold each other on their way out of the flower shop. My eyes flash with comfort as I see the two older men being affectionate with each other. It’s the first thing I have felt since that night, and it gives me hope. Saint stands beside me, observing the shop, waiting for me to make a choice. I move around and peruse the several selections they have until I find the perfect bouquet of roses. My hands close around them as I lift them from the flower stand and show them to Saint.

“I like this one.” I tell him.

“I like them too.” Saint smiles at me, then he takes my hand. As we walk toward the counter, I look up at him, heart clenching with worry at the tender gesture.

The young lady at the counter gives us a bright smile when it’s our turn to check out what we’ve got. “Are you a couple?”

“Yes.” The first time Saint says it, he sounds quite uncertain. “Yes.” He repeats firmly this time.

“Yes, we are together.” I tell her as she checks us out, and Saint pays for the flowers.

“Have a beautiful night.” She smiles as she hands me the bouquet, and we head out of the shop. The doorbell rings behind us as we appear on the sidewalk. “You said we are a couple.”

“We are, little devil. Are we not?” He faces me and smiles nervously. “I mean, I know I haven’t asked you, but I really want to be your boyfriend. Will you be my boyfriend?”

“I accept your proposal.” I grin and step forward, pressing a kiss on his cheek. He chuckles, and he walks to the car first and holds the door open for me.

“Thank you.” I tell him while I get in, and he shuts the door. He circles back in and puts the engine in ignition. He drives down the road and takes the next turn. As he focuses on driving us to the docks, I take out my phone and tap on the camera.

“What are you doing?” Saint takes his eyes off the road for a moment.

“Taking pictures. We’ve never taken pictures.” I tell him as the camera flashes several times. I stare at the moment in time I’ve captured, lips stretching into a smile. After a while, we arrive at the docks, and he parks the car along the road while we both get off and walk toward the shore.

The horizon disappears at the endless stretch of the sea. Waves crash against the shore with a steady, relentless rhythm. The wind whistles, slipping beneath my clothes and treading over my skin. I clench my arms around my body. “You’re cold?” Saint takes off his shirt.

“It’s just the breeze. I’m fine.” It feels as if the ocean could take all my grief. After all, I had been here with Saint, and it made me feel so much lighter.

“Don’t worry. I can manage.” He places the shirt around my shoulder to keep me warm. The gesture punctures my chest with tenderness. My eyes well with tears at how this ruthless man is taking care of me, putting me first. I still remember what he said earlier today. The intensity in his voice. The devotion in his eyes. He showed just how much he’s willing to put me first.

“I came out to my siblings today.”

My eyes snap up to him. “And? How did it go?” I ask, praying silently that the hope I held in my hands didn’t shatter into pieces with his response. Growing up, I never thought my sexuality was a big deal. I didn’t talk about it with my uncle, who was my guardian. I didn’t feel uncomfortable even though he’d seen me kissing a guy months away from graduating from high school. We never talked about it. Just like we never talked about every other thing that happened between us.

“They said really sweet things.” He fiddles with his hands before his gaze meets mine. I close the gap between us, putting my hands around his shoulder for an embrace.

“I’m so happy for you, and just so you know, I’ll always be your safe space, darling.” I promise and lay my head on his. He sniffles as a tear rolls down his cheek. As minutes pass, I let him go and stand by his side, and we both watch the sea crash onto the shore.

“On my ninth birthday, I asked my mama why she gave me the name Elio. She said it’s because I remind her of the rising sun.” His hands slide around mine and hold me in a firm grip. “She made me love my name even more. I don’t feel like the sun right now, but I want to reclaim my birth name because I believe I don’t have to be Mason Cole anymore. I’m free, and I want to bear the name my parents gave me. It’ll remind me of them and how much they loved me.”

He lifts my hand to his lips and presses a kiss on it.

“I’d like to go by Elio Layton henceforth.”

Saint inhales sharply, eyes flickering with acceptance and affection. “My Elio,” he smiles, and I flush. “My sun.” He’s so fucking perfect. He’s exactly what I didn’t know I needed. His words sink into my skin. A gentle touch. A heart-centered comfort. It seeps deep into my bones and sets every part of me in an unquenchable flame.

A fire I have never felt with anyone else. Only him.

Bright and warm.

“My Saint,” I respond. “My moon.” I smile, and he brings his thumb up to my cheeks, caressing tenderly. “Can I kiss you?” He asks.