Page 87 of A Coffee Away

I kissed him, then cupped his face with both hands. “It wasn’t your fault. It just…happened.”

He touched my cheek, as if memorizing my features. “God. I can’t believe you’re back.” His voice cracked. “I feared you’d never get back to me. That I’d lost you forever. Then you walked into the café, and my world filled with color. Each of your visits gave me hope.”

I smiled. “You were always with me. In my dreams. Loving me. Talking to me. I just couldn’t find your face. Then I found the bookmark, the one you left in the book, and I had to find out. I had to know if the man who haunted my dreams was real. It brought me to you.”

Esteban raised an eyebrow, mirth all over his face. “So I haunted your dreams.”

I punched his chest playfully, and we both laughed.

Silence fell.

I caressed his cheek. “I’m sorry about what my father did to you.”

Esteban took my hands in his. “I called him. Your parents had the right to know. But I never thought…” He took a deep, shuddering breath. “They revoked me as your healthcare proxy, then he got a restraining order.”

I brushed my fingers over his. “I know. Dad told me about the fight. What happened?”

Esteban moved his thumb across my palm. “It doesn’t matter.”

I lifted our hands and kissed his knuckles. “It does. Please tell me.”

He shook his head. “That day your father came to tell me he’d revoked the proxy. That he’d make sure I never saw you again.” His voice broke.

I tensed. There had to be more.

I squeezed his hands.

“You have no idea how he was to me…to all of us.”

My chest constricted. “To all of you?”

His eyes met mine. His features hardened. “He’s a homophobe. His remarks when Eva and Steph came hurt them. And Raúl had to endure it too. I didn’t care. Not until he promised he’d make sure to keep me out of your life. He said I turned you into a faggot, and I…I lost it.”

A moment passed before I noticed I was gripping Esteban’s hands too hard. How much had Dad bullied them to make Esteban lose his shit? “Fuck, baby. I’m sorry.”

Esteban slumped forward. “It was my fault. I shouldn’t have fallen for it. It was just what he needed to push me away for good. The order included you, your family, and the premises, but it didn’t keep me from visiting you.”

I frowned. “But how did you manage?”

“It was thanks to Carmen. She sneaked me in so I could visit and read my poems to you, hoping my voice would reach you. One day, your father came by and found me there. It was the last time I saw you, about seven months ago. I wanted to see you, but with the restraining order in effect, there was no way. But two weeks ago, when the order was revoked, I went looking for you, but you’d vanished.”

I sighed. “Dad got me an apartment.”

Esteban nodded. “I know. I went to your parents’ house and left a note. Your mom explained that you had moved out and that I shouldn’t look for you because you needed to remember on your own. I went to see Dr. Echevarría, and she said the same—that no one should force those memories on you. It was torture.”

I squeezed his knee.

He stroked the space on my hand I always brushed with my thumb. “Where is it?”

A pang hit my heart at the pain in Esteban’s voice. “Dad threw it away.”

He shut his eyes and took a deep breath. “I’ll get you another one.”

I stroked the side of his face, remembering the smile he gave me just before the accident. The ring I was about to give him was lying on the asphalt. The blood pooled around me. It was supposed to be a happy day.

I closed my eyes. The pain was too close to the surface, as if it all happened yesterday.

No. Don’t dwell on things you can’t change. Focus on today.