Page 34 of A Coffee Away

When we entered, Mom stared at our joined hands.

She widened her eyes, then she studied Esteban.

I bit my lip, and an empty feeling hit my stomach.

I tightened my grip on Esteban’s hand as he tried to let go. “This is Esteban.”

Mom nodded and plastered a smile on her face. “Hi. Nice to meet you. I’m Viviana.” Her words were short, practiced. Her smile fake. The same one she’d use in church or during my father’s events whenever she met someone she couldn’t stand.

“Nice to meet you too, Viviana.” Esteban let go of me and shook her hand.

“We’re together,” I said.

I was done with her bullshit. What the fuck happened to the mother I used to know? The one who wanted me to be happy.

Mom nodded. “Okay.” She let go of Esteban’s hand and wiped her hands on her apron. “Now sit, and tell me where you’ve been.”

“Where I’ve been?” I tensed and snapped. “Mom, I’ve called you countless times, and you never picked up. Why?”

She went to the fridge and took out some cold cuts. She slid the plate toward us. “Please sit.”

Esteban took a seat and patted the chair to his right.

I sat.

“Mom? Answer me.” Why the hell hadn’t she answered my calls if she was wondering where I was?

Mom sat in front of us. “Your father said I couldn’t.”

I clenched my fists at my sides. “And you obeyed? I’ve been away for a month!” My body shook, my heart in my throat.

“Your father wants you to reconsider, Robbie. We can’t understand why you think you’re”—she looked at Esteban, then back at me—“like that. You’re confused.”

I punched the table and stood. “For God’s sake, Mom. I’m not confused. Never have been. I’ve known I’m gay since I can remember. But you.” I growled. “You made me feel like I was a sinner. That I was unnatural.”

She squished her eyebrows together. “But you’ve dated girls. You like them. Maybe you just want to explore.” She darted her eyes between us, then pursed her lips. “You know you can come back when you return to your senses. God will forgive you.”

The pounding in my ears was unbearable. How could I make her understand? “Mom, you need to listen. I am gay. I like men. If I dated girls in the past, it was to convince myself that I could be the person you wanted me to be.” I gestured toward myself. “But this is me. Your son. The same Robbie you raised. How can you throw me out because I decided to be true to myself?”

Mom watched me, then grabbed the cross on her necklace. “I’ve missed you, son, but this isn’t right.”

My blood boiled. I was done with her. “I’m going to get my stuff and leave. You won’t have to deal with me any longer.” I gripped Esteban’s hand and went straight to my room, ignoring my mother’s pleas as she followed us.

“Please, Robbie, don’t leave again. We can talk it over.” Mom stood by the door as Esteban and I took all my art pieces.

I ignored her, hands shaking as I grabbed everything I could and put the paintings into the canvas bag. I didn’t know if I wanted to cry or scream at the top of my lungs.

I put my hand on my chest, forcing myself to breathe. It hurt. It hurt so badly. The lump in my throat threatened to choke me, but I swallowed my tears and closed the bag.

Esteban held my forearm. “It’s your mom, Robbie. Maybe you should try to talk.”

I shook my head. “No. You heard her in the kitchen. Let’s grab everything we can and go before Dad arrives.”

Esteban squeezed my arm, then let go and nodded, taking his duffel bag. He followed me down the stairs, my mom right behind us.

“Please, son. Don’t leave. I love you.”

I scrunched my eyes as we stepped out, the afternoon sun merciless. “You have my number if you change your mind about me. I love you too.” I kissed her cheek and left her there.