Page 93 of A Whisper of Cinders

His eyes don’t lower, ever the gentleman. But maybe I don’t want him to be, just for once, I want to see him lose control. He moves closer, hesitantly placing his right hand on the left side of my head, as if he too is a little nervous. We breathe the same air, both a little faster than usual.

My arms fall to my side, yet his eyes don’t move away from my face. There is an itch in the palms of my hands, and I know it won’t go away with scratching. I need to touch him, need him to touch me.

I wet my lips, he follows the movement with his eyes, still keeping his hands to himself, and just when I think I can’t take it any longer and I will pull him closer myself, he speaks. “May I?” he asks again and I don’t know what I’m consenting to, but I say, “Yes.”

His hand lifts, fingers barely grazing my jaw and a shiver rolls down my spine. His touch is slow and patient, careful, allowing me to back away if I want to. But I don’t. I’ve daydreamed about this, longed for it.

Our eyes meet, I expected to see lust and passion there, a wild male unable to control his burning desire. And although I can tell he really wants to kiss me, I know he also respects me and will not push my boundaries if I want to back away.

So, when he lowers his head to mine, I meet him halfway as I stand on the tips of my toes, our noses nearly touching. Our breaths mingle and his snow and pine scent somehow calms my fluttering heart. Finally, I let my gaze fall to his sensual mouth, and he slowly closes the distance so our lips connect.

His are warm, soft and gentle, just as he is and my own lips follow his movement. He pulls back after a couple of seconds. “You okay?”

I hold still for a moment, I don’t understand why he sees me, beyond my flaws. But he does and the thought alone makes tears burn in my eyes.

“Mai?”

He notices — of course he does — and retreats, but I don’t let him. With a confidence I normally lack, I place my hands on his shoulders and pull him into another kiss. My fingers play with his hair, to eventually land around his neck.

His hands hold my waist and he pulls me even closer until I’m flush against him. His tongue strikes along my bottom lip, the sensation making my core burn, and I open my mouth slightly, fully melting into him. Deciding it might be wiser to stop overthinking this and just feel instead, I focus on him and him alone. Our tongues dance around each other at a slow, toe-curling pace.

Feeling brave, my hands start to roam across his strong shoulders, feeling for his chest, his muscled abdomen. I don’t dare to go lower, but I don’t have to, this is more than enough for now. And standing this close I feel what effect I have on him and it surprises me even more. Yet, we’re not close enough.

As if reading my mind, his hands grab the back of my thighs and he picks me up in one smooth movement. I wrap my legs around his waist, admire his biceps with my fingers and the intensity of his gaze makes my core throb painfully. I’m pushed against the door, even though I know he could easily hold me up. But maybe he needs something to stabilise him just as much as I do.

He analyses every inch of my face, and since he can’t see any sign that I don’t want this, his lips find my skin and start to trail a path from my cheek, down to my ear, along the column of my throat. I moan, a sound I’ve never made before, but one I cannot contain, one that I am not ashamed of.

Something twitches against my core, the thin silky fabric of my pajamas makes me feel everything. I know it’s not me, so… oh, it only makes me crave him even more. His hands start to get a little adventurous too, one clasping my neck, but the other climbs up my ribcage and traces idle circles there, nearly grazing the underside of my breast.

I realise now why he pushes me against the door, having your hands free while kissing someone is a nice advantage to have. He bites my lip, holding me there, barely any green left in his eyes and small sparks start to flow around us.

At some point, we end at the same position as all of this began; his forehead leaning against mine, our noses nearly touching. He reluctantly puts me back down on shaky legs, but doesn’t let me go just yet. I don’t either, my hand digs in his T-shirt.

“I should let you get some rest.” He murmurs, yet he doesn’t move. “I would love to find out what other adorable sounds you can make, but I don’t want to keep you from sleeping.”

A blush colours my cheeks, he seems deadly serious though. I open my mouth to deny that I am tired, but that would be a lie. Although hormones rush through my system, tiredness rises to the surface. So I nod. “Okay.”

He gives me one more soft kiss, his lips gently brushing mine. “Goodnight gorgeous,” he whispers against them, giving my cheek a final stroke with his thumb.

“Goodnight.”

He opens the door, the one we’ve been making out against for I don’t even know how long, gives me one last look and heads back to his room. I quickly close the door and lean against it.

Did that just really happen?

I pinch myself.

Ouch. Yes, it did.

I let out a shaky breath and bring my fingers to my mouth, my feel lips swollen and bruised. I just had my first kiss, and what a kiss! A smile tugs at the corners of my lips. Aramis kissed me, me of all people.

I walk to the bathroom, taking a quick glance in the mirror. My lips indeed look swollen, a flush colours my cheeks and my eyes shine in a way they have never done before. I run my fingers through my hair, trying to tame the wild locks, but quickly give up. It doesn’t matter, I go to bed anyway.

As I climb between the sheets for the second time this night, his scent still lingers on my skin, feeling as if he’s still with me. I feel how his hands roam my body, his lips trace my skin, the curve of my breast. I close my eyes and toss my head back into the pillows, heat igniting beneath my skin. My breath comes out in short bursts, my core pulsating at the phantom hands and mouth that tease my body.

Suddenly, it all stops and I’m left there, eyes wide open, staring at the ceiling. A low chuckle sounds in my head. Did that just happen or was my mind daydreaming about it a little too vivid?

I try to relax and close my eyes once more, as the embers of his touch fade and my body settles. My heartbeat is still a little erratic, but sleep pulls me under and I can’t help but hope this feeling never ends.