Page 87 of A Whisper of Cinders

I’m not sure if he will ease my fire, since I feel like exploding every time he’s near. But I don’t ever want to lose control like that again. I will have to learn and control flames, so no one will get hurt, including myself.

What if I can’t control it, or can’t even create a spark? What if I burn the whole building to the ground? Would they send me away then? I bite the inside of my lip, falling down the rabbit hole that is my anxious mind.

“Hey, don’t worry. You’re not alone. We will help you in every way we can.”

My eyes find his again and I nearly melt away at the sight of him. I reach out my hand to touch the tender pointed tip of his ear, the soft curls caressing my fingertips. He holds completely still. “Why do I see you as fae all the time?”

“You do?”

“Yes, my vision doesn’t change back, you remain fae somehow.”

He turns his head to my wrist, his nose touching the pulse point there and lava flows through my veins. Suddenly aware of what I am doing, I slowly let my hand fall back into my lap.

“Does it scare you?” He asks, voice coated with something close to uncertainty.

His head tilts to the side and I don’t think I could be scared of him in a million years. “Not at all.”

“Good.”

“Great.”

He flashes a quick smile, showing his very nice teeth and I can’t help but notice how his canines looks sharper.

I let my tongue carefully feel the pointed edge of my own canines, not really feeling anything different and decide to do the stupidest thing ever. I let it sink in my bottom lip, just to make sure I am not imagining things, but of course, the tip pierces the tender skin and I feel a sharp sting of pain. “Agh!”

I watch as Conláed’s gaze falls from my eyes to my lips, noticing the faint scent of copper, when I feel a little droplet of blood resting on my lip. I’m about to wipe it away, when his hand scoots out and his thumb cleans up the blood that was there. We both freeze, caught in the moment.

His eyes shift to mine, but fall back to my mouth as I move my tongue across my lips, tasting the blood that clings there. He moves closer to me, not sure if he is aware of it. He grabs a napkin and gently swipes it across my lip.

“Careful, those are sharp.”

“I just wanted to see if I had them too.”

“And biting your lip seemed like a good idea to you?”

“Well…”

“If you’re trying to seduce me, it’s working.”

What did he just say?

Gone is the playful smile that is unlike him, instead the familiar seriousness is back, but is different at the same time. His pupils are fully blown and the way he is watching me… Oh, he isn’t joking at all.

I move closer, like a moth drawn to a flame, wanting, no needing for him to touch me. I want to crawl in his lap, run my fingers through his curls and let my teeth graze his neck. The sheets that cover me fall away, revealing the flimsy top I’m wearing, my nipples peeking through the thin fabric. I don’t even care if he sees more than he has ever seen before. All I can focus on is him and his intoxicating scent as I move until there is only air between us and —

Footsteps sound at my door and the handle moves down. I lay down, just as Conláed moves to the shadows again until I can’t see him anymore.

Althea enters and I stop breathing. She moves towards me and I realise she might panic if I don’t breathe, I force myself to take in the air and breathe slowly and deeply. She analyses my temperature, her hands waver over me, checking on my overall state and leaves after a couple of minutes.

Only when the door closes and I’ve counted to a hundred, I open my eyes and sit up. “Conláed?”

But only silence answers. He’s gone, and I’m not sure if I’m relieved or not. What the actual fuck is going on? When did I become this horny, hormone driven person?

I fall back into the pillows and take a deep breath. I’m such a mess. Not only did I just find out I’m fae, but my heart — and mind — don’t seem to be able to figure my feelings out.

I’m surprised that sleep comes, because my heart is beating like a wild bird and the burning feeling inside of me has nothing to do with the fiery powers I possess.

I drift away with the realisation that Conláed never answered my question.