Page 66 of A Whisper of Cinders

Yes, that seems about right. I take off my shoes as well and to my surprise, the sand feels warm underneath my feet. Aramis - unaware of the first time experience I’m currently having - is already dressed down to his aqua blue swim shorts by the time I look up. His fingers grab the bottom of his T-shirt and lift it over his head in one smooth movement.

I quickly turn around to give him some privacy. Yet, I can’t help but glance over my shoulder. His backside is all muscle and broad shoulders, and two dimples appear just above the edge of his shorts. He turns around and walks towards me with an ease I can only envy.

If I was impressed by the back, the front is…let’s say I’m nearly drooling. I get what writers talk about, letting their naïve, main characters swoon over a handsome man. I am that naïve character right now and his eight pack is very swoon worthy.

“You can leave your clothes on the sand, normally no one will come here. But please, take all the time you need.” He starts walking backward, grinning at me. “I’ll just take a quick test swim if that’s alright with you.”

I nod, because that is the only thing my tight body can currently manage. How am I supposed to get in the water with him looking like that and me looking like…me.

And the fact I have no idea if I can swim, doesn’t help me relax either. There was no pool in Anima and the lake was too cold to swim in.

I observe Aramis for a moment, noticing how smoothly he glides through the water. He is definitely used to this, he even makes it look easy.

Too stressed about the swimming itself, I haven’t even taken in my surroundings and now that I do, I can’t believe how I didn’t notice it sooner.

The stairs end in the middle of the sand plane that stretches out on both sides from where I stand. The cave seems to be oval shaped and it’s about sixty feet till you reach the water that has a beautiful azure colour. The walls consist of stone and rock and some tropical looking plants.

In what seems to be the centre of the lake is a construction of rocks reaching up into the sky where light cascades down through a large opening in the ceiling. Yet, there is no snow to be seen and it is pleasantly warm here.

I walk to the edge of the water, where small waves wash over my toes. It feels slightly cooler, but not cold, and my body easily adjusts to the difference in temperature.

Aramis swims around in laps, not even looking up once. I don’t know if it’s because he wants to give me some privacy and time, but I appreciate it either way.

I look down and take a deep breath. I can do this. I should start with something easy, like taking off my trousers. My legs aren’t that scarred.

In a less smooth movement, I untie the front of the trousers with trembling fingers, push it down my hips and let it fall in the sand. A phantom wind passes me and goosebumps erupt over my bare skin, even though I am not cold at all.

Now for the hard part.

In Anima, a lot of girls saw my skin and they all avoided me for it. What if he does the same? But he has seen my hands, touched them willingly and he doesn’t shrink away from it. He would stay away if I disgusted him. Doesn’t it say enough that he doesn’t?

Fuck it.

I grab the bottom of my sweater and pull it over my head letting it fall on top of my trousers. No way back now. I walk into the water until it reaches my knees and I halt. The water will only get deeper from this point on. And since I am unsure if I can swim and not want to drown and make a complete fool out of myself…

As if on cue, Aramis swims towards me and hovers a couple of feet in front of me where it is definitely deeper. “Everything okay?”

“Yes,” I reply too fast, but shake my head shortly after, looking at my toes in the water. “Actually, no… At Anima…I never got the chance to swim and with my memories gone from the time before that… I don’t know if I can swim. I mean, I think I can. I mean, who can’t swim, right?” A nervous laugh escapes me. Damn it, Mai, stop talking. “I know it’s stupid, maybe I should just turn around and —”

Splattering water makes me look up, little waves nearly reach my knees as Aramis swims closer. “Hey, Maily, stop. It’s not stupid at all. You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.” Some of the tension in my chest eases, but the fact that he is so close I see the water reflected in his forest green eyes, picks up the beat of my heart. “But I’ll help you if you do.”

His upper body is out of the water now, little drops run down his muscled pecs and I can’t help but follow them with my eyes as they reach his swim shorts and —

Oh. I’m staring. Again. But how can I not? His normally golden hair has taken on a darker shade and the waves are curlier now. Would he be aware of the effect he has on me?

He explains the swimming technique shortly and reaches out a hand that I take without hesitation. “Remember, I am here with you every step of the way and since I am a little taller than you, my feet can still touch the ground, okay?”

“Okay.”

He gives me a reassuring smile. “Great. Now, I’ll slowly lead you into the deep part. Let me know if we’re going too fast.”

“I will.”

He reaches out his other hand as well and I take it as we walk together into the water. My scarred hands disappear in his, and still he isn’t abhorred by them. By me.

The water covers my breasts, it reaches his hips and I feel how gravity shifts as I kick my legs in the water, just as he told me. My body tenses as I can’t feel the ground underneath my feet anymore.

“Relax,” he says, moving a little closer. “I got you, nothing can happen.”