Page 4 of A Whisper of Cinders

Besides the scarring, my skin has an overall warm, honey-bronze tone, one that would look healthier if I would be out where the sun is. That place is not here.

I quickly get dressed, rolling up the too long pants of the uniform. I asked once if they have pants shorter in length, since I am only five foot four, and they said I’ve drawn the shortest straw in life and that I have to deal with it. So rude.

I brush my hair now that my black curly mess is still wet. Once it’s dry, it’s a lost cause. Except for that one stubborn auburn strand above my right temple, that one curls perfectly nearly every time. Even when my hair is at its shortest, the warm red stands out.

I am somehow blessed with long lashes that make my brown, almond-shaped eyes look big and my full lips are naturally tinted in a reddish brown shade.

I can appreciate the face that looks back in the mirror, the uptilted nose and sharp cheekbones give me an almost exotic look, it makes me wonder what my parents look like. But the lack of high quality food makes me look unhealthy at times.

Thinking of them comes with a familiar wave of sadness, even after five years, I don’t remember their faces or even a name. But with the wave of sadness comes a warm feeling that spreads inside my chest. It makes me believe I am loved, or at least was.

“Are you ready, babes? I’m starving.”

I snap out of my glooming thoughts and look her way. “How can you even look forward to the food here? It tastes awful.”

She rolls her eyes at me. “Oh come on, Mai. You’re overreacting. The food isn’t that awful.” I stop brushing my teeth for a moment and raise a brow at her. “Besides, we can’t go without food, you know that as well as I do.”

She has a point, but so do I. Due to the severe weather conditions, it’s impossible to grow fruit or vegetables. Everything needs to be imported, which leads to food that lacks taste and probably nutrition, since most of us are close to being underweight.

I lean forward and spit out the foamy mixture, content to feel the cool sting of mint in my mouth. “I’m ready.”

We walk back to the hallway where our rooms are located.

There are some rules you need to remember while staying at Anima, one of them being to never leave your stuff out in the open. It doesn’t matter that you believe in the goodness of the people. It will be gone the next day. Probably even the next hour. I unfortunately had to learn that the hard way. The fact that I would never do something like that, doesn’t mean someone else won’t.

“You are awfully quiet this morning. You’re not thinking about Lamia, are you? Don’t let her get to your head, you know better.”

“No, that’s not it.” Her words sting, but that’s not what’s bothering me.

Her hand on my arm halts me, and she turns fully towards me this time, worry written all over her face. “Are you okay? Did something happen?”

“I am, and no. Or yes. Maybe?”

I continue walking, words come a little easier that way and I know Ami will follow either way. “You know that normally when I go to bed, I fall asleep and wake up hours later, no dreams whatsoever. Well —”

Ami stops walking again. “Oh my, did you dream at last? Was it a spicy one? It was, wasn’t it? Was I in it?”

I throw a glance over my shoulder, rolling my eyes at her, but continue walking.

“Was I?!”

“Hate to disappoint you, but no, I wasn’t blessed with your presence while dreaming.”

“How unfortunate! It would’ve been the best dream someone could wish for.”

A smile tugs at my lips before I can stop it. “I know, right? There was someone else though.”

Our doors come into view and I push mine open, placing my necessities back in my closet. Ami does the same, but enters my room seconds after me.

“It was that type of dream huh, who was with you?”

“You know you are not allowed in here, strict rules and all.” I gently push her out of my room, closing my door as we go. “And no, it wasn’t like that. I didn’t…it’s more like…there was a…” Oh shoot, why is it so hard to say? Nothing weird happened. I approach the stairs and begin the descent towards the cafeteria. “I was…paralysed for the first seconds, couldn’t even open my eyes, which was scary. I knew I was dreaming, not sure if that’s normal.” I try to read Ami’s face, but her expression remains neutral, so I continue. “Suddenly I heard this voice, it was definitely male and I know I’ve heard it before. I just don’t know where.”

Ami remains silent, only staring at me with a gaze I can’t quite decipher. I almost open my mouth again to fill in the silence when she beats me to it.

“Maybe it’s someone you’ve seen around here, or you created an imaginary boyfriend. I do that all the time.”

The cafeteria doors loom ahead, and with them comes the greasy, cloying scent of overused oil and reheated meals. My stomach turns, whatever hunger I might have felt is gone now.