Page 33 of A Whisper of Cinders

Huh. “Really?” I ask, my voice still hoarse.

“I would’ve done the same if I was in your situation.” He sighs, as if he’s the one who had to put up a fight. “The boss wouldn’t be happy with it of course, you escaping. I apologise, lass, I wish I could give you the freedom you want, but I do have my orders.”

Now I am the one to sigh deeply. “I understand.”

We walk for a little while longer, the silence welcome somehow. A tap on the shoulder makes me halt and finally, the blindfold is lifted.

It is dark outside, the sky pitchblack. I look around, trying to recognise something, but the only familiar thing is the snow on the ground. In front of me is a huge building that makes me wish I could return to Anima.

Where Anima was a rectangular brick building, this one is made of old wood and dark windows, giving me the chills as I take it in. There is a huge clocktower next to what I suppose is the entrance.

We currently stand in front of the stairs that lead to the tall front door. The man on my left is middle-aged and even though the circumstances aren’t the best, his face is kind, but I haven’t seen him before at Anima. He gives me a minute to take it all in.

I swallow audibly. “I need to go inside, don’t I?”

“Indeed,” he offers me a sympathetic smile. “If you ask me, it is an upgrade from where you came from.”

Is he seeing the same building I am right now? If so, we both have a very different definition of what an upgrade might be. Since they do believe I committed a crime, I don’t think this place will do me any good. Maybe I deserve it after all I’ve done to my mother and who knows what or who else. Yet, worry settles deep inside my bones once more. I look up at the man next to me. “What will they do to me?”

I catch a hint of sadness in his eyes, that can’t be good. But then I blink and it’s gone. “I can’t —”

“What do you think happens to people who murder a fellow patient, huh Scorch?”

Ice trickles down my spine. I look to where the sound came from, noticing Dom approaching me as the glass doors slide open. “I didn’t murder her.”

Dom grunts. “Yeah, yeah, keep denying and you might start believing it.” He walks down the stairs and halts on the last step, towering high above me, until there’s only inches between us. It takes everything in me not to back up. “You’re not our problem anymore, you’ve fucked up, big time. Those guys in there, they know what to do with scum like you.”

He spits on the ground, barely missing my feet. My heart sinks to the bottom of my worn-out shoes. I force my face into neutrality, showing how I feel would only please him and that is the last thing I want to do.

“Good luck,” he continues. “Whatever they will do, you deserve it.” He takes the final step down and bumps hard into my shoulder. I’m too stunned to speak. I at least would’ve thought he would be a tiny bit sad, I mean, how would a dog feel if their favorite toy is gone?

The man next to me lightly places his hand on my shoulder. When I do shrink back this time, he removes his hand instantly. “I’m sorry about that and all of this,” he says whilst moving his hand around. “But you should go.”

As if in trance, I walk up the old wooden stairs, knowing deep down that there’s no escaping this. Only when I’m standing there all by myself, I look over my shoulder, noticing that the man didn’t walk with me. “Aren’t you —”

He offers me that gentle smile again. “No lass, I’m afraid not.”

And although he is the one — and Dom — who brought me here, I don’t want him to leave. Leaving means facing whatever might come on my own, and it scares the shit out of me.

“Thank you,” I say, a confused expression moves over the man’s face. “For being kind to me, even after I bolted.”

In a world where I only know rudeness and cruelty, it is rare to have someone who is a decent person. Sort of. “Your heart is pure. Don’t let this place change it. Or you.”

Right. The place that will give me my sentence. For something I didn’t do. I turn back around, taking in the dark doors that seem to flicker, I think I even hear someone screaming. I’m about to ask the man if he knows more about this place, but he’s already gone, as if he disappeared into thin air.

I try to take a step forward, but who am I even kidding. I’ve lost every reason to live, and for what I did to my mother, death is what I deserve. But knowing what might await if those doors close behind me, makes every muscle in my body lock up.

So instead, I turn away from the entrance and sit down on the wooden planks, knees close to my chest and stare out into the frozen landscape that spreads in front of me.

I embrace myself, only noticing now that I’m not wearing a jacket or sweater. But that’s fine, I don’t feel the cold. Or anything else at this point.

Pine trees stand tall in the distance, their branches nearly breaking under the weight of snow. The environment looks exactly the same as Anima, yet, it feels different.

This landscape brings me peace, even though, deep inside, I’m a wreck. At Anima, it was just nice to look at, but here? It’s like I can feel nature humming around me, which is weird. I know.

And as my eyelids get heavy, I think it might be my sleep deprived mind. It’s also that same mind that sees a wolf prowling towards me. But those waves of tiredness slam into me with full force and I close my eyes for a second.

I fight to open them again, but there is no wolf to be seen. Good. I am in no danger, everything is…fine.