Page 31 of A Whisper of Cinders

I’m forgetting something important, yet I can’t put my finger on it. I look across the river, noticing the current has picked up its pace. No soft stream, but a more rushed flow instead, as if the water is…angry, hurt.

“Mailene.”

I turn around to the direction of the voice, not surprised to see that I am all by myself.

“Something is wrong, isn’t it?”

The wind curls around my ear, carrying a sigh that I feel deep in my bones. “I am afraid so.”

I try to remember what happened before I went to sleep, but my mind remains blank. “I can’t…” a headache pulses through my temples. Pain shouldn’t be able to be felt in a dream, right? “I don’t remember.”

“I know, my dear. It will come back, your mind is shielding you from what happened in the real world.” That sounds ominous… “Everything will be alright, I promise. The road ahead of you is long and may not always be easy. Big changes are coming. Some will bring you joy, open doors you never imagined. Others…” He hesitates, his voice dropping. “Others might bring you darkness and pain.”

The ground trembles beneath me. A deep, resonant sound echoes through the air, like a crack of thunder with no storm in sight. I stagger back, but manage to stay upright.

“What does that mean?” I demand. “What’s going to happen?”

A presence hovers behind me, but I know if I turn around, no one would be there. The air hums with an energy I don’t really understand. “That’s all I can say for now.” His voice softens. “You’ll understand when you’re ready.”

The ground shakes again, harder this time. I fall to my knees, the force knocking the breath from my lungs. A warmth covers my hand, and when I look up I notice the faint outlines of a man, tall and broad.

“What’s happening?” I ask, when the world starts to tilt violently.

“You are waking up. Our time has come to an end.”

Something about those words makes me feel like this is a goodbye. “Will you not be here next time?”

Silence remains and before I think he might not answer at all, he speaks again. “It might be a while. You will have to process…other things, things that might be draining your mental energy.” An uneasy feeling settles in the pit of my stomach, I bite the insides of my cheek in thought of whatever that might mean. “I promise it can be in a good way too, Mailene. We will meet again, when you are ready. I could never abandon you.”

The last sentence was only a whisper in the wind, but I heard it either way. But that name… “My name is Maily.” For a voice inside of my head, it’s pretty odd it doesn’t know my name.

“Of course.”

I relax my frowning forehead and close my eyes, only a little bit bothered by his response. A wave of serenity washes over me as the familiar wind twirls around, erasing my worry.

And only when I am ready, I open my eyes and I awake.

But I wish I could go back to sleep as the memories start to rise. A raw sadness makes my heart ache, one that I know will never really heal, I will only get used to the feeling.

Trying to direct my sorrowful thoughts away, I focus on my surroundings. I am in a moving vehicle, and sleep suddenly feels very far away.

In those five years at Anima, I never left the terrain. Yes, of course I did walk outside multiple times a week. But I’ve never been on a trip.

A blindfold presses against my eyes, thick enough to block out even the smallest hint of light. I am wearing a seatbelt, but my wrists and ankles are also tied.

Ami had a dream like this once, a spicy one where someone licked her neck, bit her ear, sucked on her peaked breast and did more intense stuff that made my cheeks burn bright red. Could this be…no.

My heart constricts in a tight grip.

Ami.

She is gone. Dead.

A deep sadness washes over me, my teeth sink into my bottom lip and I bite down until I taste blood. I will not cry, not right now. I will keep my emotions in a box and lock them away.

The headache I felt in my dream has unfortunately followed me into the real world, only ten times worse. My memories are a foggy, tangled mess. All I remember is Doctor Herbert approaching me, her embrace like a balm on my heart, followed by…

My hand moves up towards my neck, but the ties around my wrist restrict me from touching the tiny hole that is probably located there. Did she really sedate me?