Page 16 of A Whisper of Cinders

I nod to Doctor Herbert and guide the boy towards the cafeteria. The other newbies wait in line to receive their first of many poor meals here. Ami’s already sitting at our habitual table, looking at me with an expression that screams ‘Another one, really?’ I stick out my tongue. ‘Always.’

I look at the little boy, who was apparently watching our little silent conversation. His freckles make his brown eyes pop, eyes that look a little less heavy. “My name is Soren.” And with one final squeeze of his hand, he lets go and joins the others in line.

I go to Ami, who got me some food already. She takes a bite of what I can only assume are carrots. “You just can’t help it, can you?”

I shrug, because no, I really can’t. “You were there for me after a week, Ami and I love you for it. But those first days were awful. So yes, I will continue with what I am doing, help in every way I can just to chase away some of the fear they have.”

She sighs and gives me an understanding smile. “I know, you’re right. Just…don’t get yourself in trouble, okay?”

“Pinky promise.”

“Mhm.”

In the five years I’ve been here, I’ve got into trouble for a lot of things I didn’t do, but never for helping others. “Look at them, they still look like scared little birds, but less intimidated. It’s not like I’ll help them escape or something like that, I pr⁠—”

Ami presses her finger into my lips, interrupting what I was about to say. “Babes, please, don’t finish that sentence, don’t make promises you can’t keep.”

I stick out my tongue, because when push comes to shove, we both know I would do anything to help someone in need.

CHAPTER SEVEN

Ami and I return from the bathing chambers later that evening, when an uneasy feeling spreads inside of my chest. I look around, just to be sure I don’t miss anything.

“What’s wrong?” Ami asks, somehow picking up my change in mood.

“I don’t really know, I just…feel something, you know?”

She frowns. “Is it period cramps? Because I’m out of painkillers, so if you need some, we should go to the —”

“No, no, it’s not like that. It’s…” I sigh, trying to ease some of the tension in my chest. “Never mind, it’s nothing.”

She gives me a worried glance, but continues walking until we reach our rooms and we say goodnight. But I am not ready to rest just yet. Call it intuition, but I need to stay awake a little longer.

And right when I think I am actually losing my mind, a tug inside of me tells me to silently open my door and look what is about to happen. Somehow I am not surprised to see a small silhouette and a blond, short cropped head walk on the tips of his toes down the descending staircase.

Damn it.

I look at the clock. Nine thirty. I still have thirty minutes left until I should be asleep in bed. The little one is way past that. If he gets caught… A shiver rolls down my spine. I can’t let that happen. Not on his first day, not under my watch, ever.

Changing into my uniform would make me feel less vulnerable, but it would also cost me precious time I don’t have. I have a feeling where he might go, so in my nightshirt and sneakers, I close my door behind me and walk a little less sneaky down the stairs.

The guards give me a small nod, it’s a wonder they didn’t see him, but let me pass, not bothering to tell me it’s nearly ten o’clock. They know I’m aware of the consequences of being out of your room after ten and I wouldn’t risk it. Alas, here we are.

Most of the lights have dimmed, casting the hallway in dark shadows, but his blond head is like a beacon and I only have a couple of stairs left to descend when he reaches the bottom floor and turns to the right.

He’s smart enough not to try the front door, it’s locked and the chance of getting caught is too high. I had thought I would see him as soon as I’m on the ground floor too, but he has disappeared.

I walk casually - or at least I hope I do - through the hallways, passing the infirmary, quickly scanning the cafeteria, but no Soren to be seen.

I’m about to do a second round when a sound stops me in my tracks. Someone’s crying, gasping for air and sobbing their heart out. My heart lurches. I know it’s Soren and if I can hear him, so can everyone else. I have to find him.

I let the sounds guide me, my steps silent against the tiled floor. The cries lead me to one of the back hallways, a dead end with nothing but a cabinet and a window too small for anyone to fit through, even a child as small as Soren.

And there, with his hands pressed against the glass — his body shaking with sobs. His breath fogs the window, his nails dig in the frame with no use.

“Please let me go,” he chokes out, his small shoulders trembling. “I want my mommy.”

I barely register my own movement as I rush forward, crouching beside him. “Hey, I know. It will get better, I promise, and if everything goes well, you’ll be gone from here in no time.”