Page 138 of A Whisper of Cinders

“Go! Leave! I don’t want to see you.”

Tears burn in his eyes as well, I don’t care. “But I lo —”

I stretch out my arm and he falls back. “Don’t you even dare speak those words, not when they can’t be spoken from your heart.”

A single tear rolls down his cheek and with eyes open wide, he rises and starts walking back. He stops next to Conláed, I don’t hear what they say, but Ami pulls him along. When they’re out of sight, I fall to my knees, pulling the flames towards me.

But they rage on, just as the anger inside of me, and become only wilder as the seconds pass. Someone’s screaming. Maybe it’s me. My temperature’s rising, I get too hot, unpleasantly so.

Pain spreads from deep within me, the inferno consuming me and maybe I’ll let it. Something tries to enter my shield of fire. Or someone. It’s the same sensation as if someone blows my neck. But my flames don’t back down and only grow brighter and wilder, the pain excruciating at this point.

I clasp my head with both hands, it feels like my brain is getting fried, so when a hand finds my wrist, I don’t even notice it at first. A tingling sensation travels from my hands up my spine, wrapping me up in what I can only describe as a soft blanket of flames. It calms down some of the rage swirling inside of me, slowly giving me back control over my body.

Strong hands, their temperature a tinge hotter than my own, hold my wrists, thumbs drawing slow circles there, soothing me. They hold on, even when I lower my hands from my head. They disappear in his, because it is a male who was brave enough to face my rage. I look up, meeting amber, glowing eyes. Conláed.

He sits in front of me, silently holding my hands with a tenderness I don’t quite understand. I look around me, the flames are still there, but red, not streaked with purple and not as high and intense as they were before.

“They’re gone, feather, it’s just us.”

I look back at him, watching as his thumb keeps stroking my wrist. “Why did I —” One of my hands goes to my throat, my voice hoarse and raw, and even a little painful. I taste smoke in my mouth, as if I was burning from inside out.

“You screamed, or maybe I should say you roared.” A soft smile appears on his handsome face. “You’re upset and you were barely in control of your fire when you entered the dojo, seeing,” he waves a hand, we both know who he’s talking about, my flames flicker a little at the thought alone. “Didn’t really help with your mental state, so they took over and tried to protect you and they did so excellently.”

I raise my eyebrows and tilt my head back. “I nearly burned the dojo to the ground.”

“But you didn’t, Mai. Your flames were perfectly in control and just formed protection around you. I am impressed, it’s magic I’ve never seen you do before, except maybe…”

“When I healed you?”

He nods. “Yes.”

I stare in his eyes, the amber even darker now, and reach to caress his cheek. “Your eyes look so…different.”

The corners of his mouth tip up in a secretive smile and with it, my flames rise towards the wooden ceiling. His eyes look a golden shade of amber now. “I’m tempering your flames, feather, absorbing some of the fire so you don’t have to deal with it. The pain you felt was you losing control over the intensity of your flames.” His eyes darken visibly and the flames grow smaller once more.

“Does it hurt?”

He’s full-on grinning right now. “In the most delicious way. Your magic tries to take the upper-hand and I find it very enjoyable to keep your fire steady.”

I stiffen. I don’t want my magic to consume everything or hurt anyone. Yes, I’m mad at Aramis, furious even, but maybe I should’ve shouted or thrown a good punch. I don’t want to burn someone alive. I release Conláed’s cheek and close my eyes, finally bringing down the dome of flames.

“I am sorry for all of this, I would never want to —”

Fingers touch my chin and tilt it up so I meet his intense gaze once more. “Nothing happened, feather. You have nothing to apologise for. Given the circumstances, you were kind to him. I know a lot of fae who would have given him hell and wouldn’t let him walk away so easily. You’ve done nothing wrong and the kind heart that beats in your chest remains, no matter what happened.”

But even my kind heart has its limits and thinking about…forgiving or learning how to live with what Aramis did, currently feels impossible.

Conláed stands up in one smooth movement and holds out his hand to me. “Come.”

“To where?” I ask as I take his hand.

Before I know it, I’m thrown over his shoulder, being carried away to the centre of the mat. “You didn’t think I would leave our little battle unfinished now, did you?” He gently places me back on the ground. “Come on, feather, bring it on.”

Crawling under a blanket and crying for hours sounds like a more tempting idea, but he is really trying and I do not want to disappoint him.

So I go at him with the same fury that was in my flames, but with a technique that improves with every single beat.

At one point he has me cornered, pulled tight against his chest with my arms trapped underneath his. “What now, little feather?”