Page 115 of A Whisper of Cinders

“Hello, Maily, my name is Seraphe, I am your teacher for today. How are you feeling?”

Her voice is like a balm over my nerves. “I’m nervous and unsure of what to expect.”

Her smile is warm and kind. “I understand that you are, but there is no need to be. I will guide you, not force you, and if your blockage is too strong, we will try another day. There is no need to rush.” And with that, my nerves evaporate and she dives right in. “Tell me, how do you summon your flame and what do you feel at that moment?”

I take a moment to think about her question before answering it. “Uhm, I think about what fire resembles to me; warmth, the soothing crackling of wood, feeling your fingers tingle after a cold walk outside. It makes heat ignite inside me and I try to send it to my fingertips, my palms. But I only managed to do so once.”

“Your technique is good, it will eventually come as naturally as breathing. But visualising what you want is a great way to start.” She holds out her hand. “May I?”

Without any hesitation, I lay my hand in hers and feel the little familiar shock of energy traveling up my arm. Her dark fingers close around mine and her eyes turn more golden now, the green only faint specks. The fire inside of me burns a little hotter and it spreads not only to my fingertips, but along my arms, across my shoulders and down my back, until I am covered in vibrant energy. Sparks appear around us and Seraphe winks before the whole room erupts in flames.

“Whoa,” I say, watching as fire dances around us, spreading until a full circle is formed and the flames burn brighter. I stretch out my free hand, reaching for the heat that isn’t unfamiliar and watch as it moves with me. “This is magnificent, your powers are fire bound too?”

Her smile is so honest and pure, the flames react to it, the colours deepening. “Oh no, my darling, this is all you.”

And with that, the flames disappear. “It is? But…how?”

She releases my hand and sits down on the ground in one smooth movement. “I am what you call an amplifier; I possess some minor magic but my strongest gift is complementing the powers of another fae or creature.”

I sit down in front of her, legs crossed. “So the flames were…”

“All yours. I’ve been around for a long time, but have only seen a fire this strong a couple of times.”

With my palm on my knee, I try to summon the flame once more, but only small sparks dance around my fingers. Disappointment sets heavily in my stomach, the sparks go dormant.

“Chin up, Maily. Try to see your powers as a muscle you haven’t used in a long time. It’s still there, but you need to train it so it becomes usable and strong again.”

And as she touches my knee and power rises again, I see reason in her words. “I understand.”

“Good. Now, why don’t we try to grow the connection between you and your fae self?”

Seraphe explains that magic is not just power, but a reflection of yourself, what lies within. The reason my powers manifested and lashed out that day I saw the not so dead Ami, was because my emotions were all over the place and those two are intertwined. High emotions create strong powers, which can lead to a good or a bad outcome.

Why my powers didn’t answer when I was in danger is due to a combination of my inexperience and the fact that I was actually petrified.

By the end of our first lesson, I can summon the sparks that dance around my fingers, but no flame appears in my waiting palm.

I feel like the biggest failure, but Seraphe is positivity herself and her encouragement is the motivation I need. We plan our next lesson in two days, giving me enough time to rest for the complete exhaustion I will feel tomorrow.

CHAPTER FORTY-ONE

For the next couple of weeks, tired is my middle name, the other one being frustration, because although Seraphe’s approach is nothing but kind, gentle patience, my flames only appear when she touches me.

I am this miraculous fae who can apparently save the realm, but can’t summon a spark. But hey, at least Mrs Delalune believes in me. The pressure is on and my failure feels even more of a problem than it already is.

I want to pull all of my hair out, and since it now finally flows above my shoulders, the curls bouncy and vibrant, it would break my heart afterwards.

I rest my chin on my arms at the table we’re currently sitting at. Ami throws a grape at her brother, making not so subtle gestures with her head towards me.

The first time I saw Aramis again after my little…aroused trip, was very awkward, but he was the sweetest soul ever. He saw it as a compliment, that even though there are so many other fae, my body and mind led to him. We have the occasional make out sessions, but we have not progressed beyond that. I know he’s waiting for me to take the lead and wants to give me time, which makes me yearn for him even more. I don’t know what holds me back, but I don’t feel ready just yet, and he understands that.

“Come now, gorgeous, you’ve already made so much progress. You summoned a flame yesterday and —”

“I nearly burned your hair off.”

He waves my comment away. “No, you didn’t, I’m fine.”

“Because you healed yourself.”