Page 113 of A Whisper of Cinders

A curse slips from his lips before he whispers my name. And that’s when everything stops. He gently lifts me up and places me next to him. He stands up and starts pacing back and forth.

“Aramis?” My voice cracks at his name, I’m not even sure why.

That stops his movement. “Oh Mai, please don’t get this the wrong way.” He crouches down and takes hold of my hands. “I am sorry, I know what you’re feeling and believe me when I tell you I’d love to give in to all your needs and desires. But,” I know I won’t like the words that will come out next. “I can taste and smell nectar on you.”

My lip starts to tremble. Is he really denying me? “I want you, so, so badly.”

His head falls down and he squeezes my hands. “I know, baby, but we can’t do this right now. We’ve already gone too far.”

Too far? “But we only…kissed.”

He grunts. “Kissed? Well…”

He rises, letting go of my hands, and only then do I notice a small wet spot on his pants. What does that…Oh.

Fingers tilt my chin up, my heated gaze meets his glowing eyes. “Do you understand how badly I want you?”

I nod.

“Good, that’s…good. But not like this, gorgeous. I can’t…if we go down that road, I want you to be…you and not this high version of you.”

It’s like he’s sending a bucket of ice-cold water across my back and all I feel is shame. My palm goes to my forehead, it feels clammy, my thoughts scattered all over the place.

A wave of tiredness hits me with its hammer and before I can topple over, Aramis catches me, lifting me into his arms. My head rests against his shoulder and I close my eyes only for a couple of seconds.

When I open them, I’m back in my own bed and Aramis tucks me in. I grab hold of his hand. “I’m sorry.”

He sits down on the bed, moving a lock of hair away from my face. “No need to apologise. You will feel better in the morning. Sleep now, you’ll need it.”

He gently brushes his lips against my forehead and disappears in a cloud of shadow.

I fall asleep in no time.

CHAPTER FORTY

My fist bangs on the door of the room a couple of doors from mine. No one answers.

“Ami!” I whisper—shout and knock once more.

I’ve never been drunk before, or high for that matter, but I imagine this is what it feels like; dizziness that only gets worse when lying down, the delicious food I ate yesterday this close from coming out and the pounding in my head that is a whole different headache than the ones I’m used to.

The fire that was lit yesterday still burns and aches beneath my thighs, and although I wish it was different, I remember every. single. thing. And I don’t know if I am happy about it or want to disappear in the deepest cave and never come out again. What I do know for sure is that I can’t face Aramis. Who can I face? His ever-sweet twin sister, who knew without a doubt how this was about to go down.

I knock again, but she’s either not there or she doesn’t want to open the door. I’m about to let myself in, when another door opens behind me and Ami slips out of Neo’s room, carefully closing it when she leaves.

She rushes over to me, grabs my hand and pulls me into her room. “Well good morning, babes, how was your evening slash night?” She grins so wickedly, I’m about to throw my sock at her. Analysing my face, she starts laughing. “My my, that good, huh?”

I look the same, but when my face stared back at me in the mirror this morning, a royal blush spread across my cheeks and my eyes were still a little glassy. “Couldn’t you have at least warned me?

“Oh, but I did.”

I let out a frustrated cry. “No, that is not what you did, Ami! You only said ‘don’t do things I wouldn’t do’, how was I supposed to know what that means?”

She waves her hand, sitting down on the bed. “Details, details. But, tell me, did you give in to your…urges?

I pick up the nearest pillow and throw it at her, making her laugh only louder. “What do you think, huh?”

I walk over to her and pick up the pillow, softly hitting her with it until she holds up a hand in surrender, tears rolling down her cheeks from laughter. “I’m waving a white flag here.”