Page 32 of Left In The Dark

Exhaling roughly, I go to Blake’s and my message thread. That’s when dots start moving across the screen. I don’t know what told me to check, but for some reason I just had to. The thought of him hanging around Hayden, and of Hayden reversing the hold I’m slowly gaining over him could be it. I don’t need him getting in his head about me. He needs to stay wanting to earn my attention.

Blake: I haven’t washed every part of my skin off.

A thrill runs through me. He’s been hanging around Hayden like that, hasn’t he? Eating dinner with his parents with a part of me lingering on his skin. Nice to know he’s still waiting for me to be ready to use him again. He can wait a little longer, though.

Not responding, I pocket my phone and step up to the counter when my name is called. Lydia helps me carry the bags to the antique store and we eat outside on the bench. Once I start at the academy, I won’t have time for my friends as much. No more random work visits or joining them for lunch. I’m wanting to get everything settled on the farm before that happens too.

“So, you’re really doing this cop thing?” Her napkin drops from her hand into the bag.

“Yeah. I really am.”

“Nervous? Excited?” She crosses her legs, twisting the cap on her Sprite bottle.

“Both. I don’t want to fuck this up like I did college.”

She gives me a sympathetic look. “You won’t, and you were having a rough time. Everyone has them. You can always go back later if you really want to.”

“Yeah.” My lips turn up. “But if this works out then I won’t need any kind of backup plan anymore.”

“I think it will,” she says, confidence ringing in her tone. “Actually, I know it will. One of the things you seem to really enjoy is telling us what we should and shouldn’t be doing.”

“That’s mostly me just trying to keep Jimmy’s ass out of trouble.”

“You’ll have more people to keep in line now whenever you find yourself getting bored during Jimmy’s off period.”

A laugh bubbles out of me. “I’m not that bad.”

Pinching her thumb and pointer finger together, she tilts her hand, partially shutting one eye. “You kinda can be, but we love you for it. Just like we love Jimmy, even when he’s trying his hardest to spend the night in county jail.”

We both laugh and I walk her inside, tossing our trash in the can by the door. I hang out for another hour until traffic picks up, and then head off to meet someone interested in buying one of my dad’s tractors. The guy is happy with both the condition and price, agreeing to pick up his new purchase in the morning. And I’m happy to have some money to use toward the bills still needing to be caught up on. We’re getting close to being in the green, and my mom already looks so much lighter on her feet than she did the first day I showed up.

“He buy it?” Mom steps onto the porch, hair blowing loose from her bun.

“Yup,” I pipe up. “He’ll come get it tomorrow, but he paid me now since I might be out tending to the fruit trees in the back. Be prepared to have lots of jam and pies.”

Chuckling, she kisses me on the cheek. “It really is good to have you home.”

“I’m just happy I’ve been able to make things better and not worse.”

Her lips downturn. “I never did agree with a single thing your dad used to tell you. If anything, he’s let people down way more than you ever could. He’s continuing to blow his money too. Says he’s getting himself an apartment and that’s what he’s using it on, but I was told by Betty who works over at Furniture Row that he was couch shopping with some young blond guy. Sounds like the one in those images I found.”

“What?” My chest tightens. Blake showed me where the pictures came from and said he’s never spoken to my dad before. Never even realized he was a subscriber of his. Do I really know him to be a man of his word? He’s tricked me before, too many times to count, and I fell for it like an idiot. But who at one point or another doesn’t want to be accepted by the popular kid in school?

“Yeah. I guess they’re moving into their new place this Saturday. They kept using terms like ‘our new place,’ and ‘our living room.’”

My vision goes red. The fuck. There are plenty of other young blond guys in this town, so she could be wrong. But she could also be right, and my gut instinct isn’t even sure what direction to go in. “Could be someone new, too. He probably promises different guys all these things he can’t even give them, and he’ll get tossed aside once they realize he doesn’t have shit.”

“I’m sure you’re right. They can have him either way. I’m really done this time.”

“This time?” My voice squeaks.

“Yeah. This isn’t your father’s first rodeo of infidelity. There are things I’ve tried my best to keep between us, but this time I knew I wouldn’t be able to. Especially when he’s flaunting his new lover around.”

My fingers find the back of my neck, squeezing lightly. “She didn’t give you a name, did she?”

Her brows close in on the tops of her eyes. “You said you knew his name.” My mom had showed me the images she took from my dad’s phone as evidence in case she needed it, and I’d told her he was someone I went to high school with. My mom might have been here longer than me, but she doesn’t go to many of the same places Blake does. She does, however, know his mom, but I don’t tell her that. She could still be wrong.

“Yeah. I do.” I clear my throat, quickly moving one leg in front of the other in the direction of my car.