Page 42 of Reforming the Rakish Marquess

Chapter Twelve

Juliana’s eyes were still puffy from all the crying she had done. Just when she didn’t think her eyes could possibly generate more tears, more would fall. She sobbed at first, and then after she tired from doing so, the tears just streamed down her face.

Bonnie had tried everything to soothe her. She brought her tea and readied her bath. Nothing seemed to work. She dressed for the day with her face flushed and ruddy, and her eyes red from crying so many tears. Bonnie brought up a couple of cold rags to place over her eyes to ease the puffiness, and finally Juliana felt she might have the crying under control.

She wasn’t sure what hurt her more, that Jude had ended things between them or that he recommended she take up with another man. It’s very likely that he would take up with another woman that night instead of coming to her, and the thought made her stomach twist into tight knots. It was too painful to imagine him being intimate with another woman, even though she knew he had done so frequently before they began their arrangement.

She’d lost her heart to him, and she wasn’t sure it would be possible to ever find love with anyone else. Juliana sighed, her head back on her settee, with her eyes covered from the cold, damp cloth.

What a fool she had been. Part of her believed more had passed between them than the physical nature of their arrangement. He treated her with great care, and such tenderness at times. They spoke of all manner of things, and he knew all of her secrets. Although it was apparent that he didn’t trust her with his, she reminded herself. It wouldn’t surprise her if no one knew whatever it is he kept locked away inside himself.

The tears started again, thinking of him alone in the night plagued with his nightmares and no one to comfort him.

She calmed herself again and tossed the cloth aside. Enough was enough. She had to continue on with her day. Crying would not change what had occurred between her and Jude, and she would spend a couple of days in residence to avoid crossing paths with him.

She already had Bonnie send her regrets to that evening’s hostess, as she would skip the ball planned for this evening. Juliana was not ready to face him, let alone to dance and carry on as if nothing had occurred between them in front of their friends.

Bonnie entered her chamber. “My lady, Lord Demming is here to see you. Should I tell him you aren’t home to callers today?”

Juliana rose and brushed the wrinkles from her skirts. “No, that won’t be necessary,” she replied. “I shall speak with him. Please have him brought to the drawing room and I will be right down. If you could send in tea as well, that would be much appreciated.”

“Of course, my lady,” Bonnie said, departing to carry out the tasks.

Juliana forgot she told Lord Demming to call on her. Their conversation wasn’t appropriate for the terrace at a ball where the entire ton could eavesdrop at any moment.

Finding her composure and grace, she descended the stairs and made her way to the drawing room to find Lord Demming standing in the middle of the room with his hands clasped behind his back. He was a handsome man, with deep chestnut hair and emerald-green eyes. He was trim and not as muscular as Jude, but still cut a fine figure in his finery. She chastised herself for comparing other men to Jude. Jude would never be hers.

“Lord Demming,” she called out to him, “how good to see you!”

She stepped into the room, and he crossed the distance to bow over her hand.

“Call me Nate, please, my lady. It only seems right for you to do so.”

“Very well. Only if you will call me Juliana.”

He released her hand, and she motioned for them to take their seats. The tea cart had already been brought in, so she poured out for them both.

“How do you take your tea, Nate?”

“Cream and two sugar, please.”

She prepared it for him and handed him his saucer, feeling just a bit better being outside of her chamber.

“Are you all right, Juliana?” Nate asked, assessing her. “You seem quite upset.”

She fought the tears that threatened to form again. How her body retained the ability to create tears dumbfounded her, and she almost laughed at the notion.

“I’ll be fine,” she said.

“I hope it wasn’t anything that I said which upset you.” The concern was evident on his brow.

She shook her head. “Not at all, Nate,” she assured him. “I am delighted that Edward found the love he deserved. You both deserved it. I wish our society wasn’t so set against such things.”

He reached out for her hand, and she welcomed the warmth of his gloved hand in hers.

“He loved you, too, Juliana,” Nate said. “Edward spoke of you fondly and said that you were his very dearest friend. He was lucky to find such an understanding, caring wife.”

The tears ran down her cheeks. She still missed Edward. Not as her husband, but as her friend. She could have spoken with Edward about Jude, and he would have understood. He wouldn’t have thought she was scandalous, and he would have held her hand while she cried, just as Nate was doing for her then. She couldn’t discuss such matters with her female friends, especially her unmarried ones. If only Marina or Diana were there.