Page 36 of Reforming the Rakish Marquess

Moving to the settee in his study with his glass, he stared into the dimly lit fire. He pushed aside all of his insecurities and memories from the past that threatened to plague his thoughts, and just kept staring at the fire for what must have been at least an hour. He tried his best not to think about anything and just kept his thoughts fixated on the way the flames kissed the logs, hoping that the feelings bubbling to the surface would pass.

Finally, he downed the drink that had been in his hand the entire time in a single gulp and set it down on the table with a clank. He knew what he had to do. The same thing he did anytime he needed to regain control of his emotions.

He would visit one of his mistresses. They must wonder what happened to him. He’d visit one of the women and then once he was himself again, he would end things with Juliana. He’d step aside so she could pursue whatever it was she wanted from Demming.

Resolved to end his madness, he set off for his mews to have a carriage readied. Once he was outside, the bright full moon, high in the sky, caught and held his attention. He allowed the moonlight to wash over him, providing him with only the slightest bit of calm. He took a few deep breaths, attempting to slow his thoughts.

Before his feet could make a different decision, he crept past his mews and strode a block over and hurried through the alley behind Juliana’s mews and followed his usual path to sneak into her bedchamber. He must speak with her before he decided if he would end things between them. Ending things with her was the last thing he wished to do.

He sat on a bench in her garden for several moments, thinking about what he would say. He wasn’t even sure what he felt, but he knew instinctively the storm brewing within him would be soothed in Juliana’s presence. Did he even need to say anything at all? If she wanted his company, couldn’t they just continue to enjoy each other? Why did anything need to change at all? He was being a fool.

Deciding he had pondered the situation for long enough, he started towards her terrace. He found the door unlocked like always and crept up to her room. He thankfully didn’t encounter anyone along the way and quietly opened her door and closed it behind himself, turning the lock. She was sitting in a chair by her fire and hadn’t heard him enter.

He watched her for a few moments and how beautiful she looked with the light from fire dancing on her skin.

“Juliana?” he called out to her.

She was startled, and her head jerked in his direction. “Jude. I wasn’t sure if you would come tonight. I didn’t see you at the ball.”

“Did you not want me to?” he asked. He hadn’t considered that there could come a time when she rejected him, but if she considered taking up with another man, he shouldn’t be surprised.

She stood and crossed the room to him. “Of course, I did. I hoped for your visit more than anything.”

He cast aside all of the concerns that plagued him earlier that evening, and before he could stop himself, he tucked a single loose curl behind her ear. “Well,” he started, “here I am.”

Chapter Ten

Juliana shivered from his tender touch when his fingers brushed her cheek. She wanted him. What they had been doing had been the most pleasurable experiences of her life, but she knew there was more. She knew no matter what occurred between them in the future, she wanted to experience her first time with Jude.

“I’m ready, Jude.” More than ever. Her entire body ached for his touch.

He furrowed his brow and swallowed hard. “What do you mean?”

“I wish for you to teach me about coupling.” She only hoped he wouldn’t refuse her request.

“Are you certain?” he asked. “If you give me your virginity, it can’t be undone.”

She was more certain than she had been about anything in her life.

“The entire world already believes I am no longer a virgin as a widow,” she reasoned. “I wish to do this with someone I trust, someone I know will take care. Please, Jude.”

He took her chin in his hand, and she shivered. “You understand that there could be a babe? I will do what I can to prevent it, but nothing is foolproof.”

Nodding, she swallowed hard and fixed her gaze on his. “I want you.”

Jude released a low growl and had her robe and night rail on the floor within a few heartbeats. He stepped towards her and backed her towards the bed. He kicked off his boots and tugged at his coats and shirts until they lay in a crumpled pile on the floor and he only donned his breeches.

She reached out to touch his chest, and he groaned. He grabbed her wrists and held her arms out to the side, lowering his head to flick her nipples with his tongue.

Her head fell back, and her legs threatened to give out from beneath her.

He scooped her up and tossed her on the bed. She giggled as she bounced on the mattress and fixed her gaze on his form when he pushed his breeches to the floor before climbing onto the bed. He hovered over her and dipped his head to her breasts again.

She arched her back underneath him, enjoying every suck and flick of his tongue.

Supporting himself with one elbow, he ran his free hand down her body until he reached her core. Slipping a finger inside of her, he moaned. “God, you are so wet. I think you are ready for me.”

He removed his finger and placed himself at her opening. His long, hard member pressed against her, and she anticipated him pushing himself inside her, but he paused.