Page 103 of The Killer Card

He’s quiet for a long time, staring at the wall, then the bed, then the floor. Eventually he sighs so deeply he may as well exhale his entire soul. “I never apologized to you..”

“Apologize?” My stomach gives a sick lurch. “Apologize for what?”

He finally looks me in the eye. “For the way I spoke to you that morning in Vegas. For the lies. For walking out on you when you needed me—”

Shaking my head I take a step closer. “Graham—"

“Please, Naomi,” he begs. “Let me just say this?”

The last thing I want from Graham is an apology- I forgave him for all of that a long time ago- but he looks so determined I can’t do anything except nod, taking a seat on the edge of my bed. “Okay…”

Graham swallows, fists clenching and then unclenching at his sides. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry for what I said and I’m sorry for the way I left. I was in a really bad place after what happened with my sister, and I never should have taken it out on you. I never should have implied that I was using you or that what we did meant nothing—”

“Graham I—”

“I know.” He cuts me off. “I know you said the same thing but that didn’t give me any right to throw those words back at you. Especially when I still felt the ache of them myself. You hurt me, a thousand times.” I look away, ashamed. “But it didn’t give me any right to hurt you back.”

I disagree. I disagree so much. Graham has absolutely earned the right to hurt me. To shout at me, to roar me down for using him like some sex doll I could slap around for my pleasure. I want him to. I want him to repay me for all the harm I’ve caused his beautiful heart, so I stop feeling so goddamn guilty all the time—

“I love you, Naomi.”

“I love you too—”

“Please, let me finish,” he begs. I bite down on my lip, nodding. “I have loved you from the moment I saw you across that crowded bar,” he continues. “All I could think was, that woman is going to be my wife, or no one ever will.”

Tears fill my eyes. I knew I should never have said anything. I should never have mentioned my thoughts on marriage. Because now this is over before it can even start—

“You… Stunned me,” he goes on quickly. “You took my breath away, and I haven’t stopped thinking about you since. Not one day has passed without me wanting you, missing you- even when you’re right here- and honestly, it’s exhausting.”

I avert my gaze to my hands. But then he closes the distance, taking my face in his palms until I can look nowhere but into his green depths.

“But I can’t make it stop. Nothing you’ve done, said, or believed about me has ever changed it. No selfish choice, no insult, no cruel lie has made me stop loving you. And nothing- nothing, Naomi- ever will. God knows I’ve tried.”

A choked laugh escapes my lips.

“I’ve tried so hard to stop. Loving you has hurt like Hell, but I can’t. You’re it for me. I love you- pathetically, desperately, with every broken piece of my heart and soul.” His thumbs brush tears from my cheeks as they escape. “I am in love with you, and I have been for the last four years. You have no idea what hearing you say it back has done to me, and if one day you stop, I need you to know that what I said before you left Lightning Cove wasn’t just to make you stay. It was real for me. Every moment of it was real.”

He leans in, placing a long, lingering kiss on my lips until I’m holding his wrists, tilting my chin up to chase him when he eventually pulls away.

“You own my heart, Naomi… Я буду любить тебя, пока от меня не останется ни крупицы, кроме пыли.”

Tears keep flowing down my cheeks. I don’t know what he says and yet I can feel the emotion in his every breath as he says it. He just continues to wipe my tears from my cheeks, peppering kisses across my brow.

“I need to go be with the guys tonight,” he tells me softly. “The night before the wedding all that nonsense about not seeing the bride. Will you be okay with Clara and Poppy?”

I groan, loudly, irritated enough to make him chuckle. Nelly started grilling me the moment she got the chance. Luckily, those chances were few and far between with the schedule of the rehearsal. And of course, Graham and I had snuck away at the first opportunity. “Yeah,” I mutter. “I can handle them.”

He chuckles, kissing me again. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” I reply, and his smile widens. As if he really doesn’t tire of hearing me say it.

“I’ll see you at the church.”

“I’ll be the one in blue.”

Another kiss later and he’s gone, leaving me watching the closed door far longer than is reasonably healthy, tears leaking slowly down my cheeks. Because I already miss him, and I know he’s missing me too, but this won’t be the last time we’re forced to say goodbye no matter how brief.

Because Boston is waiting.