Page 81 of Pay the Piper

“Lesnaya?” I call, rising from the bed and pulling on my sweatpants from the night before. There’s no answer, and if I weren’t supremely confident in my security system, and the fact that even though I sleep more soundly with Abby in my arms than I ever have, I would be concerned that something had happened.

Strolling into the bathroom, I find it empty, along with the other bedrooms and bathrooms, the kitchen, and finally the veranda. She’s gone. A glance at the garage cameras shows that her parking spot is empty, and finally the pit of despair that’s been simmering deep in my stomach boils over past the point of no return when I see that she’s left the country. My tracking app goes wild, and my mind goes into overdrive.

No note, car gone…this isn’t like her at all. Nausea mixes with my anxiety as I see the slightest flutter of a piece of paper on the fridge that wasn’t there before. It’s in the center of the fridge, in pride of place under our Shrek and Fiona magnet. Her chicken-scratch handwriting is more legible than usual, so I know she must have taken her time writing to give me the best chance to read it. My phone buzzes with message after message, but they fade into white noise as I begin to read my worst nightmare.

Misha, my love…

I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry for barging into your life and making such a mess of things. That’s what I’m best at, though, and have been for a while, so I’m not surprised. You told me your deepest secrets, things you were ashamed of…and I lied to you. I lied to you, even as you handled my insecurities and jealousies like the wonderful man you are.

I’m married.

It makes me want to vomit to think that, let alone write it, and I’ve been crying for a while now…Even if I hadn’t, the thought of you reading those two words would be enough to push me over the edge.

The incessant buzzing of my phone finally stops, cut short by a notification from my security software, and as the incomprehensible words on the paper in front of me blur and white noise fills my brain, heart, and soul, I force myself to check the alert.

Abby Reid a.k.a. Abigail Reid a.k.a. Niamh Fitzpatrick a.k.a. Niamh Abigail Reid Fitzpatrick

Family/known associates: Conor Fitzpatrick (husband) HIGH ALERT FLAG

Fitzpatrick, Conor–known trafficker, Irish Mafia Don–Canadian Eastern region

The calm that washes over me is beyond rage, and seeing the name of a human trafficking rapist piece of shit that’s vile enough to ring a bell fills my veins with electricity. I’m still, presumably, a human man, but I would swear on my last dime that every atom within me just morphed into something far, far more dangerous. A being whose only objective is to destroy.

My eyes fly between the alerts that continue to pop up on my phone, including all my Santori contacts, the Taranov brothers, and security gurus trying to reach me about my tracker leaving the country without authorization. They’re ready to press the nuclear option, and as I read more of Abby’s letter, I’m tempted to let them.

My husband is, well…he’s a bad man. I found out on my wedding night. I swear, I had no clue what I was getting myself into before then. By the time I did, it was too late. Recently, I’ve discovered that he’s even worse than I thought, but again…it’s too late.

It’s never too late, my love.

I was young, naive, and in love, then spent a decade in a drug-induced stupor, barely living. When he told me that he had an assignment for me, I leapt at the chance to be away from him. In the process, I regained my sense of self and started to see the woman I once was. The one who believed in good people, friendship, and love. I thought she had died long ago.

I was sent to spy on the Santori family, presumably by seducing my way into the inner circle. It was never my intention to do any harm, and I was only ever going to give enough information to keep Conor off my back and hopefully never return to Canada.

She was sent to infiltrate?

As soon as I met Ellie and the rest of her family, I realized everything I had been told was a lie. They welcomed me and made me feel more like a part of a family than I have in so long…I ended up abandoning my plan to seduce a Santori, right around the time I fell head over heels in love with you.

The paper is warped from here to the bottom, the evidence of tears falling and then drying clearly marking the point where Abby couldn’t keep it together anymore.

I fell in love with you, and with Ellie as my friend, and with Giulia and Nonna, and I just…couldn’t do it. I gave Conor the bare minimum information that I could, ignoring him most days, and I thought…well, I thought maybe he would forget about me at some point. Or at least not care enough to come after me and kill me.

My darling, nobody is ever going to hurt you again and live.

I was going to tell you everything, I promise. I’m so, so sorry. This is the last of things you don’t know about me, and it kills me that the chance to tell you myself, on my own terms, was taken from me. I should have known better and involved you earlier. You would have known exactly what to do.

The paper is even more wrinkled, and the pink ink of her favorite silly pen is slightly smudged. I bought it for her at a truck stop while we were out on the bike one day, and the glittery flamingo on a spring, bouncing back and forth with every stroke, made her giggle uncontrollably.

It’s too late now. He knows about you, and he knows I’m not playing his games anymore. If I stay any longer, it won’t be me he comes after. It’ll be you, and the people you care about most. I can’t be responsible for that, Misha. I just can’t.

It’s better for everyone if I go quietly and willingly, and he doesn’t have a reason to cause a scene. Please know that I’ll always love you. You’ve taught me what it truly means.

I hope you know that when I told you I’d met one person who I immediately knew would matter to me, forever, it was you. It was so wholly, obviously you.

I love you, I love you, I love you.

More texts flow as all my security redundancies continue to flare. One catches my eye above all others.

Mila: I won’t waste time asking questions. Our guy’s deep dive resulted about thirty seconds before I got the notification of her location change. Here’s what we have.