Page 72 of Pay the Piper

We stay like this until the sun is well into the sky, still technically cuddled up but without the previous intimacy. This is longer than I would have ever stayed to watch, but I can’t bring myself to move. Whatever was bothering her yesterday hasn’t magically disappeared, and I dread the distance that will inevitably come between us the moment I let her go.

“Well…I’d better get going.”

“Going? I thought I would get to spend the day with you.”

“We have all of next week.”

“Not really. You work.” Although you won’t need to for very much longer, unless you absolutely want to. “And the season is picking up, so I’ll be gone more with that.” But I would love it if you would come with me and be with me always.

“Fine, I’ll be back later. I just need to…take care of some things at my condo.”

“I’ll go with you.”

“No!” Her tone is harsh as she stands, finally breaking our embrace. “I just need to be alone, okay?”

She tries to hold it together, but I see right through her facade. I’ve studied body language to the point it’s not really even fair, and I can tell she’s seconds away from tears. My poor girl.

“Abby…” Slowly standing, I reach out my hand, but she doesn’t take it.

The hurt in her eyes is obvious now more than ever, and I pull her into my arms.

“Oh my darling, please tell me what’s wrong.”

“I can’t.” She sniffles, plopping down onto the cushion.

After years of training to hide my emotions, I’m struggling not to smile during her time of distress. She’s just so adorable. I’ve also learned how to respond to someone who’s experienced trauma, so I pull myself together.

Slowly, I drop to the ottoman near where she’s seated. “You can always tell me anything, lesnaya.”

“It’s so stupid, though.”

“Humor me.”

She wipes the tears from her face and looks down at her fiddling thumbs. “It’s…um…mehaa.” The first part of her sentence is barely loud enough to hear, but the last word is completely illegible.“It’s what, darling?”

“Eaahh,” she mumbles.

“Abby, sweetie, I can’t hear you.”

“It’s Mila! Mila, okay?”

This time, her words are crystal clear, and I’m too stunned to respond. My first thought is that Mila must have sent her some kind of NDA to sign in relation to the Bratva, or even a death threat of hurting me. I wouldn’t put either beyond my friend. Mila is always two steps ahead of everyone, and with this being my first love…fuck. Rubbing my temples, I sigh, bracing myself to undo whatever damage she’s created. “What has she done?”

“What do you mean?” Abby looks at me for the first time since she sat down, her brows pinched in confusion. “She hasn’t done anything.”

Now I’m the one confused. Well, at least after the relief that my dearest friend hasn’t singlehandedly run off the love of my life. Nobody gets to threaten Abby and get away with it. Not even Mila. I’m sure she will eventually run for the hills. Try to run for the hills. But if Mila hasn’t done anything…why is Abby upset with her?

“I’m afraid I don’t understand what’s wrong…” I take her hands in mine and squeeze them gently. “Can you help me understand, sweet girl?”

Abby sighs, hanging her head again to avoid eye contact. “I told you it was stupid. I…I’m jealous. I’m jealous, okay? And it’s not your fault. That’s why I feel so silly. You haven’t done anything but cherish me at every turn, but just the mention of Mila makes me instantly irrationally jealous.”

Wow. I never even imagined how Mila’s and my relationship would threaten Abby, but of course I see where she’s coming from. If the tables were turned, I would probably feel the same bouts of jealousy or more. I was pouting like a toddler when she spent the day with Ellie. And she’s a girl. Fuck, to anyone on the outside looking in, Mila and I absolutely fit the bill of a romantic couple. We’ve been getting that assumption all our lives. Hell, we’ve even pretended to be married countless times. Our chemistry is undeniable, but there hasn’t been a second, an hour, a day that I’ve thought anything romantic about her. Our relationship is familial, much like that of siblings, or even twins.

“Oh lesnaya…You’re not stupid or silly or anything. I didn’t realize how Mila’s relationship came across, but with little context, it does seem as if it could be romantic. That couldn’t be further from the truth, though. We have a special bond, that is true. We grew up together and survived together. But Mila is like a sister to me, and that is all. This isn’t some stupid ‘oh she’s just a friend’ lame fuckboy line either. I promise you this, Abby. You’ll understand more when you meet her.”

“I know, I know…And I tried to be rational. But then I remembered you said you couldn’t live without your friend. At the time, I thought your friend was a guy, which was kind of cute, but…well, I’ve only felt that with one person, and they…well, it hurts to realize the one they can’t live without is another woman.”

Fuck…did I say it’s been hard to live without Mila out loud? I mean, it was true. I felt like I lost half of myself when I left her in Russia. We were codependent for decades, and I thought it would take years to learn how to function without her, but that wasn’t the case at all. God, I feel like a fool for rambling on about how important she’s been in my life. I don’t even think I made it clear how not romantic we actually are. All Abby knows is that there’s been this woman there for me my entire life who I can’t live without.