Page 29 of Pay the Piper

Another bike ride. Hopefully, I can keep from having a full-blown panic attack like I almost did last night. This is different, though. No matter how attractive and charming Nikki is, the undeniable, visceral attraction just isn’t there. Anything that happens between us tonight is transactional. A job. What happened, or almost happened, last night was…real.

“Well, would you look at that, a dessert that’s mobile.” Ellie grabs a cannoli for herself and her fiancé, then pulls him from his seat. “I guess we better be going. Nikki and Abby need to get on with their date.”

Nonna winks at her granddaughter before wrapping half the tray of treats up and passing them off to Nikki. “You two take these. You might need a sweet treat later, or some extra energy for the ride back.”

My date for the night rolls his eyes but takes the desserts before standing and helping me up. “Shall we?”

Smiling up at him, I take his hand. “Only because you’re being such a gentleman.”

I can remember a time when Conor was a gentleman as well. During the early days of our relationship, he opened my doors, pushed in my seat, and brought me flowers and gifts. He treated me like a princess. Only since I moved to Thunder Bay have I allowed myself to think back to those days, examining the memories closely for any sign of inauthenticity. I was young and naive, I know. Still, I haven’t recalled a moment when his act faltered. He was perfect at every turn, fooling not only me but also my mom. Dad always hated him, but Mom and I chalked that up to the typical “nobody is good enough for my baby girl” feelings every father has. I never got the chance to ask him what it was he hated so much about Conor. God, I miss my dad. I should have trusted him.

I wonder what he would think of Misha.

“Here you go.” Nikki hands me a leather jacket and a pink helmet. “These are Ellie’s.”

I blink out of my reverie, putting my mask back in place with a smirk. “Sure they are. I bet you tell all the girls that.”

Nikki laughs as he helps fasten my helmet strap. “Ask her yourself. Believe it or not, I haven’t taken a woman out on my bike in years.”

He looks down at me with a lazy smile, but I’ve been lost in my own head enough to see that a painful memory exists behind his gaze. What’s someone done to you, Nikki? Maybe he’s just as messed up as I am.

Patting the top of my helmet, he holds out a hand. “Ladies first.”

This is only my second time getting on a motorcycle, so even though I had a little practice yesterday, I’m still awkward enough not to destroy the illusion that I’ve never ridden before. I do have to stop myself from wrapping my hands around his waist like Misha taught me and instead wait patiently for his instruction before doing so.

Fuck me, what is with all these men and all this muscle? Nikki’s build is similar to Misha’s, although he’s not as tall. His abs are just as muscular, his clothes are just as soft, but somehow he feels different. His body heat isn’t permeating through to my skin like Misha’s did, lighting me on fire all the way to my core. His warmth is borne out of camaraderie, the same that I feel around his sister. It’s still unusual to be so close to a man and feel nothing but comfort. Where Misha’s heat is like I’m one degree away from irreversible immolation, Nikki is as if I’m wrapped up in a cozy blanket with a good book.

We ride in silence, but it isn’t uncomfortable. I’m not dying to know every little thing about him like I was with Misha. Sure, it’s partly because I already know a ton about him from the docket of information I was given, but also, the quiet between us feels like a mutually necessary reprieve. A moment of peace for two individuals who barely know each other to be free from the weight of their reality.

When Nikki finally pulls over, the sun has set, but we’re far enough from the city so that the moon and stars illuminate the night sky. Ten years ago, if I was driven out to the middle of nowhere by a known killer, I would be shaking with fear. But now, hell, what’s the worst he can do? If I’ve learned anything in the past decade, it’s that death is not the worst thing that can happen at the hands of a man.

I’ve also trained my intuition to decipher a good man from a bad one, I hope, and Nikki is undoubtedly the former. When he offers me his hand, I take it without hesitation. And as he guides me along a gravel path through dense, low trees, I relish the tranquility I’ve been gifted in Thunder Bay.

He leads me to a long-forgotten pier overlooking the mouth of a lake and helps me sit before plopping down, just far enough away so that we aren’t touching.

“Are you a big lake guy?” I ask, breaking the silence for the first time since we started our ride.

Nikki fiddles with a pebble and tosses it, sending it skipping several times across the water before it disappears. “No, not exactly. An old friend of mine was, though. We found this by accident, and it kinda became our place to hide away when life got tough.”

“Oh, do you still come here together or—”

“Nah.” He skips another rock. “Sh—they stopped coming years ago. I still come out here from time to time. It’s been my secret little hideaway.”

“I’m sorry. Is life rough for you right now?”

“Always, darling.” He takes my hand, enveloping it between his. “But I didn’t bring you here for me. I brought you here because I can see behind that pretty little perfectly crafted facade of yours.”

My breath hitches, but his reassuring squeeze of my hand is calming. “Don’t worry, I’m not going to make you tell me what’s bothering you. I can just tell that there’s something. And well, from one tortured soul to another, I thought you might like it here.”

Phew, that was close. “Oh, well thank you. That was very kin—”

“But…”

Dammit. “Yes?”

“You do have to tell me something about yourself. It’s the rule after all.” He lifts his hands in surrender. “And look, I don’t make the rules.”

“I’m pretty sure you’re responsible for your own lake rules.” I laugh, crossing my arms.