Page 60 of Born Savage

I’d read about how amazing it could be, but this exceeded all of my expectations. Rage took his time moving from one nipple to the other, sucking and biting until they were both extremely sensitive. I should stop him right here, pushing and locking him out even if only by using stacks of boxes. I’d promised myself if I ever enjoyed sex, it would be a one-time thing, and certainly with no emotions, but I was feeling all kinds of things.

Even stranger was that I’d lost my virginity with this man and I hadn’t lamented it for a second. Things were different than within the aging pages of books I’d voraciously read, but I should have felt something, right?

Maybe I’d expected to feel more like an adult, all grown up and eager to face the world. Only the world wasn’t a kind or safe place and with the only option for the future being survival, sex had merely placated me for a little while.

However, I’d be lying to myself if I didn’t say the sex had been amazing. So much so I’d dared think about how his touch had made me feel, his mouth and lips, his sweaty palms and fingers.

And his huge cock.

Oh, my goodness, I’d thought about how he’d filled my pussy, the ache a reminder of the time shared.

Time stolen.

Yet so precious that the ache hadn’t left, but there were too many reasons I shouldn’t want a repeat, including knowing what the closeness represented.

Fear of losing something else.

The overwhelming feeling of loss had terrible lingering effects, keeping the desire to become friends with anyone too difficult to comprehend. Families had been torn apart, children left to fend for themselves. Children like me.

It finally hit me what Peter had said.

I’d been abandoned, unwanted, and thrown out to the wild. Who would do that kind of thing to a helpless child who had no way of defending herself?

A flurry of emotions hit me, almost tearing me apart. The memories were there, barely locked behind a veil of deceit and lies, fear and anger. And this man, once a boy, had saved me.

I could see it clearly now. His face. His eyes, so green they’d captured and kept my attention.

Just like Rage’s had done hours before.

The way his lips had upturned in a quirky smile when he’d tried to encourage me to trust him. And how he’d held me in his arms when I’d finally let go, crying my heart out because I was no longer alone. He’d protected me, including from wolves who’d attacked. Now I remembered even though a huge part of me didn’t want to.

Any recollection would cause pain, knowledge of who’d wanted me to die. I hadn’t been able to face the truth then. Why would I even want to do so now?

Because remembering was the key to the future. The connection with Rage was part of the prophecy. But how? Why?

A flurry of images crashed into my mind, unwanted. Unneeded. My chest heaved as pain nearly ripped me apart.

As he crouched lower, I took several deep breaths, wrapping both arms around his head. He’d saved me. For a little while, I’d felt safe, loved by a stranger.

Then he’d left me too, the loneliness hitting me even harder. I’d cried myself to sleep for weeks, unable to talk to anyone.

Like Wren.

Only through Peter’s coaxing and my found parents had I learned to risk coming out of my shell.

Completely flustered, I closed my eyes in hopes of blocking out the past while refusing to embrace whatever future Peter insisted I was ready for.

The feel of Rage’s rough tongue against my skin was causing me to overheat. Panting, I glared at the ceiling while he slowly dropped to his knees. Oh, what was he doing?

While he’d been required to release his hold, at this point I wasn’t attempting to go anywhere. I was frozen in the moment, unable to feel my legs. Only the rapid pattering of my heart seemed to keep me from dropping headfirst into a dark abyss.

I don’t know what struck me unless fear of the unknown while being provided with an anchor from the past was to blame, but I was suddenly ravenous. With no sense of an off button, I could feel myself and my needs spiraling out of control.

He continued peppering kisses down my stomach while splitting my legs farther apart.

My hands were instantly clammy, the rush of heat exposing my sudden embarrassment now the most annoying aspect of the experience. The reason was personal and before hadn’t bothered me in the least. I had no clue what I was doing. I could feel certain the reason I hadn’t been hindered by being a virgin was based solely on the overabundance of excitement on one hand, and the irrational fury on the other.

Mixing the two had resulted in the incident being explosive. Now I was about to collapse and would have had his huge hands not grabbed my thighs at that moment, spreading my legs open as far as humanly possible.