Page 59 of After Midnight

“I’m not going anywhere, Rem.” I stroke a hand down her soft hair, holding her close as she cries. “Whenever you want me, I’m here.”

Softly, words muffled, she says, “But what if . . . I want you here all the time?”

Her question hangs in the darkness between us, and even though I don’t have a perfect answer, I tell her what I’ve been telling myself this whole time, since I first started asking myself that question.

“Then we’ll figure it out.” I curl down to press a kiss to the top of her head. “Together.”

chapter 26

Remi

WHEN I WAKE UP, SOMETHING feels different. My eyes are still closed, though I can feel warm light streaming across my body where I’m lying in bed. And despite the AC quietly humming, I’m hotter than usual, like I’m lying next to a big bear.

A big teddy bear.

Realization hits me hard, and my eyes flick open.

Tacos. Beer. Seb.

Now that I’m waking up, I can feel him next to me, curled around my back under my thin comforter. We’re both still naked, our bodies pressed together.

And for a minute, I just lie there, feeling the comfort of his body cradling me, the gentle brush of air on the back of my neck as he breathes deep.

Slowly, trying not to wake him up, I ease off of my pillow and turn my head to look down at him.

He’s out cold, lips parted slightly, face perfectly serene. In the morning light streaming through my window, the black tattoo on his bicep is a stark contrast against his skin: the compass that doesn’t point north. His broad chest rises and falls with each breath, and he looks so comfortable and peaceful, I really don’t want to wake him.

But I need a shower and coffee. I’m covered in a thin layer of sweat, and I can still feel last night’s cum on the insides of my thighs.

Guess I’ll be washing the sheets again.

Very gently, I slip out of bed, my bare feet finding the floor as I stretch out my neck. Then I get to my feet and tiptoe around the side of the bed, picking Sebastian’s jeans and shirt up off the floor as I go.

In my hands, his jeans vibrate. Reaching down, I feel his cell still in his pocket, but I don’t pull it out. Instead, I fold his jeans and T-shirt, set them on my dresser, then slip out of the bedroom and close the door.

Thirty minutes later, I’m fresh and clean, draped in my silky bathrobe since I don’t want to risk waking Sebastian by going into the room and thumping around in my closet and dresser drawers. I pour myself a hot cup of coffee from the percolator, add oat milk and vanilla, then froth it up before going to sit on my porch.

Outside, the air is already hot, and it makes quick work of drying my damp hair. I sit in one of the wicker armchairs and pull my knees up to my chest, watching the world come alive around me: the sun rising higher in the sky, cars moving slowly through the condo complex, people going to work or taking their kids places. But I sit quietly, sipping my coffee.

And I think of last night.

First, I think of how amazing the sex was. Probably the best I’ve ever had. Even now, remembering how Sebastian’s tongue felt when his head was buried between my thighs and the words he whispered against my skin in the darkness has my low belly fluttering.

But it’s what happened afterward that I sit with, turning over and over in my mind.

I cried. Cried.

It was like everything I’ve been holding back and trying to repress came bursting out the moment Sebastian coaxed that powerful second orgasm from me. I literally cried in his arms and pretty much told him I want him here with me all the time.

At the moment, wrapped in his arms and lying in the darkness, it felt like the truest thing I could say. But in the light of day, do I feel the same?

As I sip my coffee and think of driving Seb to the airport today, watching him walk away from me again, it makes something in my stomach go tight.

So, yeah, I guess I do feel the same, even now, as the sun paints the desert sky. And I have mixed feelings about that.

First coffee down, I head back into the condo, going to pour myself another one. I take a moment to grab a bagel from the cupboard and pop it into the toaster. As I wait for it to toast, I hear my phone buzzing and realize I left it on the speaker system last night.

Crossing from the kitchen to the living room, I pick up my cell.