Page 54 of Dragon Her Heels

“Yes?”

“Is there any chance you’re interested in buying my house? I’d be putting it on the market for three fifty.”

As Isaac and I shared a property line, I could annex the land and add it to my homestead without losing my benefits. “Sold. When you’re ready to offload it, I will contact my real estate agent and have him draw up the paperwork for both the lease for you moving in and for the sale of your house and annexation into my property. Will you cry if I have the house demolished?”

“Only if you don’t put something spectacular in its place.”

“I’m thinking Tudor wattle and daub, but underneath that waddle and daub will be stone sufficient to withstand any hurricane. It’ll be a bunker guest house, and if any of the neighbors suffer from a catastrophe, I’ll toss them in there temporarily. I might even use it as a place for goats to live.”

“I have twenty-five acres,” he informed me in a solemn tone. “But my acreage is full of snakes, alligators, and other nasties, and I’m scared of leaving my yard. The backyard has three acres. Hell, I’m afraid of going into my yard. I got swarmed by iguanas once.”

That would cost me a lot of hours to ward the place, but I bet I could turn it into a lovely habitat and trail through the woods and a preserve. “I’ll even let you use my truck and the box trailer to move everything, especially if you can recruit some demon friends to help. I demand incubi, they need to work shirtless, and I will bring a lawn chair over and a prissy drink with an umbrella so I can enjoy the scenery.”

“Don’t forget to invite Darlene and Ashley,” he replied with a grin. “Hey, Yuless? Mind helping me when I move?”

“Sure. Does the shirtless part apply to me, too?”

“Absolutely. You’d die if you tried to move here with your shirt on, anyway. But I’ll be nice and protect everyone helping Isaac against the local pests. I am a merciful tyrant.”

“You have a long way to go if you want to even be a blip on the tyrant radar,” Isaac informed me. “But your mercy is appreciated. How about some lemonade?”

“If my trees are offering lemons when we are moving you in, I’ll make it myself. And if not? Well, I’ll head to the store and get enough to keep all the nice gentlemen hard at work properly hydrated. Just don’t ask me to bake you a pie. That’s how you escort yourself straight to your grave. I can cook, I can roast meat with the best of them, but I simply cannot bake. The ancestors whisper to me only when I’m cooking main and side dishes. They are silent and refuse to share their baking secrets with me.”

“Ah, I see. You’re offering me great rent so you have ready access to someone who will bake you pies.”

There was no point in denying the truth, so I shrugged. “What can I say? I know my limitations. As I’m a wise woman, I’m taking advantage of your suffering for my benefit.”

“That’s a little better on the tyrant front. Excellent job. We’ll have you ruling over even the dragons in no time at all.”