Page 109 of Dragon Her Heels

Sometimes, I truly loved the Devil. For my last trick, I pointed at Yuless. “Convince him to move into my house. I already have two dragons, an incubus, and Ashley, and I feel he would round out my acquisitions nicely.”

Yuless laughed. “I practically live at your place anyway at this rate, so I guess I can be talked into it if he’s handling any moving of items I may need.”

“I can do that. Then it’s decided. You two will go on your date, enjoy yourselves, and I’ll handle getting your horses hauled to your place. Four days from now, we will go to Tennessee to handle the node. And no, Yuless, I need you to stay at the homestead to keep an eye on the horses. She is not going to like leaving those asshole cats without company, either.”

I snickered. “You’re just mad I accepted Darlene’s advice on what to name them.”

“I’m wise enough and value your life enough I acknowledge that you were coerced into accepting their wretched names.”

When I thought about it, his point of view made sense. Once Darlene and I got started, we really got started, and it often involved several demons and devils working together to separate us. We were banned from having pizza unless there were numerous people keeping the peace.

Once the last slice was up for grabs, something snapped in our brains, and it became a battle for who got to have it. And if someone was foolish enough to take it while we feuded, we redirected our fury long enough to deal with our mutual enemy before diving back into the fray. “While you present a good point, I’m capable of handling your wife.”

“I’m honestly more concerned for any building you two happen to be in when you decide to get started,” the Devil replied in a rueful tone. “I am less concerned about either one of you being severely injured than I am about the proximity damage.”

“Better plan when we have pizza, then,” I informed him in a cool tone.

“How is this my fault?”

“If you didn’t wander off and leave us unattended, thus giving us an opportunity to order pizza, there wouldn’t be any fighting. Only pizza brings out the demons within us.”

Lucifer groaned, and he bowed his head. “You could at least spare her feathers during the fight. First, she loses spots whenever she fights you, then you claim her feathers as trophies!”

I had a rather sizable collection of Darlene’s feathers in my office, and I’d begun turning them into writing quills. I’d ruined a few learning the art, and those ones were stashed in my desk. Whenever I worked and needed to use a paper and pen, I used one of Darlene’s feathers to feel fancy. “They are beautiful feathers, though.”

“They are, but it takes her two weeks to grow back a primary. You like targeting her primaries!”

“They make good writing implements.”

My statement felled Lucifer, who writhed on the barn floor in his death throes.

Shaking my head, I took the lead from Yuless and led the mare to her stall, giving her a kiss for putting up with such insanity before turning her loose inside and securing the door. “Come along, Yuless. For all we know, his idiocy might be contagious.”

“May the heavens forbid,” the tall, dark, and handsome muttered, following me and pausing long enough to nudge Lucifer in the side with his boot. “Try not to ruin my night, you. It’s been an age since I’ve gone on a date, and so help me, if you wreck this somehow, you will pay.”

I grinned at that. “We should make him pay anyway and call that a second date. Anyone willing to tango with the Devil deserves at least two tries proving he’s worthy of being dated.”

“How many dates do I earn if I actually bake a pie following the instructions rather than reinventing the wheel?”

“Four extra at a minimum. If you’re making the crust yourself, five. If your pie is better than mine, that’s an instant offer of marriage. I won’t even be too distraught if you refuse my proposal, but I really like edible pie. The only thing better than one person capable of making excellent pie when following the instructions is two people capable of making pie when following the instructions.”

“Anyone who knows you is aware the way to your heart is through pie.” Yuless laughed. “Hey, Lucifer? Find me a recipe that’s better than the one she used if I follow the instructions loyally.” He paused, considered the Devil, and then added, “Please.”

“You first want to use me as a squeaky toy you can kick, now you want me to find you a good pie recipe? Am I just a mule to you, Yuless?”

“Yes,” he replied. “But at least you’re likable enough for a mule.”

“Just accept you’ve lost this one, Lucifer,” I recommended. “Just be prompt about getting us where we need to go after we get changed. You know I hate being late.”