Page 8 of Whiskers on Kittens

“Your cat will enjoy staying home, and one of my demons will go over to your place to make sure she gets daily care and attention.” Like me, the vampire raised a brow. “Why do you have a cat? They are not overly fond of wolf lycanthropes typically.”

“I’m a sucker for punishment and found her alone on the street during a storm. I couldn’t bear the thought of taking her to a shelter, so now I have a cat.”

“And you made comments about my altruism, Easton. I help, but I don’t bring the helped home with me!”

As Ernesto had needed an hour and a half to get to me due traffic and checking in on a member of his brood, I’d had time to skip to the store and roast a chicken with vegetables, which made serving everybody at the island easy. I gave Ernesto small enough portions he would be able to manage, even with his severe case of undead. Once I served both men, I claimed the stool beside Easton, speared a piece of potato, and said, “One day, I might actually find a stray cat during a storm. I look, but I never find any.”

Easton thanked me for the meal before saying, “Try the slums. Logan Square is too clean for the alley cats, and there are too many dog owners out and about for the colonies to get established. That’s where I found mine. I was also working at the time, so I ended up carting around a sickly kitten in a box once the vet confirmed she would probably live, gave her the first round of kitten shots, and told me how to take care of her.”

While I sometimes went to the slums of the city, I did so looking for people to help rather than cats. Next time, I’d look for the cats, and I’d do so on a particularly miserable day. “Thank you for the advice. I’m going to take you up on that. I think my place is big enough for at least two cats.”

Ernesto laughed at me. “Your home is plenty large enough for two cats, and we would be pleased to watch the new members of your family while you are off doing your important work. I’m sure, with enough work, you might even find two stray kittens you can catch and adopt while on your adventure. I would even send over a vampire deserving of reward to take your new family members to the vets and tend to them until you’re home and can care for them properly yourself.”

Not to be outdone by the handsome wolf, I nodded. “That’s an excellent idea. Should we happen upon stray kittens who do not happen to have a mother cat nearby, I shall claim them as mine and rescue them from the streets to live a life of luxury. I am going to need a practitioner to kitten-proof my furniture and protect them and my cables from harm.”

“Consider it done. I’ll give you the bill upon your return.”

For a cop with a reputation of being a goody-goody, he handled my conversation with the vampire crime lord with surprising grace. “When you had discussed the issue of talking to the vampires, I had thought the angel had been practicing her sarcasm.”

I appreciated that he understood angels were not versed on the art of sarcasm and needed to learn and practice it. However, I snickered over him having been fooled by such a small thing. “Oh, I never joke about my contacts, Easton. And trust me when I say you’re going to regret being on first name basis with me soon enough. I will be using Asher on you when I want to annoy you, and the only way you’re getting me to call you Officer Dannell is if you’re cuffing me.” To make it clear, he wouldn’t be getting his title used unless he was scratching my feline’s itches, I allowed myself a smug smile.

Then I targeted him with the leer that made the wise men run.

Ernesto tossed back his head and cackled. “She’s won that one, my boy. You can either play the game, surrender, or run until she catches you, but once she decides she’s on the hunt, she does not lose.”

To the delight of my virus, Easton rose to the challenge through raising a brow at me. “Are lycanthrope males your usual fare?”

Snorting at the thought of a lycanthrope male actually handling me, I shook my head. “The instant they realize I cannot be controlled, they’re running for the hills despite their virus. I’m a cat, Easton. I’m so much a cat even other cats are disgusted with me. The only cats that actually like me aren’t even my same species of cat, and they only like me because once I found out about their clan, I offered free legal aid any time they needed help while visiting my turf. There are cats and then there are cats, and we’re all cats.”

“Has it occurred to you that being a cat is the primary source of your problems? If you were a wolf, you might actually be perfect.”

“Except wolves absolutely hate when they can’t control their partners.” I rolled my eyes; every male wolf I’d attempted to engage with for longer than ten minutes had realized they’d courted true trouble with me and run for the hills.

Of course, my virus had hated them all as they’d gone out of their way to try to bend or break me.

I refused to bend or break—and I would continue to refuse until I found someone worth bending for.

Breaking would not be happening; that was one thing me and virus agreed on without debate. No mere male would ever break me.

We hunted the breakers before they could hurt anyone else. I liked targeting corporations as they tended to break people in high quantity, but I took on the small fry when I could.

Easton’s eyes narrowed. “Dare I ask what species of feline you are?”

“Where’s the fun in me telling you? I will show you when you least expect it, as a divine feline gracing you with my presence. My beauty will ruin you for life. My coat is plush and soft, and I take immaculate care of my fur. I might even permit you to offer three strokes—but only three. You have to ask for permission for more than that. I accept scratches behind my ears in unlimited quantity, and you will gamble if you touch beneath my chin, my neck, or my chest.”

“She doesn’t usually warn people,” Ernesto announced, and he sampled a piece of my chicken. “Excellent as always, my dear.”

I beamed at the vampire’s praise. “Thank you.”

“I’ll admit, I’m confused. You’re a single female lycanthrope. You are not being bothered by single male lycanthropes because you’re too successful?”

The disbelief in the cop’s tone would amuse me for days. “That’s correct. I’m not a hybrid, but I’m divinity in the flesh in human and feline form. I just don’t actually happen to be a divine. I just got a particularly lucky roll of the dice upon conception.”

Ernesto snickered. “Let’s just say her self-esteem is not one of her problems. She’s pretty, she knows she’s pretty, she doesn’t really give a flying fuck that she’s pretty, and she’s happy to use her looks to lower your guard—or anyone’s guard who is fool enough to underestimate her. Her appearance is a weapon in her arsenal, one that she uses with devastating success, usually on corporations. I feel it’s wise you understand this before you undertake your job with her. She will have those kittens home for Christmas, and she will destroy anyone and anything that gets in her way. She’ll make use of every contact she can. I expect her next move, once she’s done her report and has that submitted to the judge, is to start calling every single one of her corporate contacts looking for leads on the missing kittens. The corporations will start searching, and no stone will be unturned. If the culprits are in one of the corporations, they will know their days are numbered.”

“Won’t that endanger the children?” Easton growled.

“No. They’re too valuable. Lycanthrope children are easily molded, especially before they mature enough to mate. The girl will be auctioned off to the highest bidder to be a bride, likely a child bride around the age of twelve to fourteen. The boys will be auctioned off to brothels, given strict training on how to avoid the mating bond while giving a woman the best sex of her life, and used over and over again until they’re retired—which only happens if an accidental mating bond takes hold.” Ernesto sighed, shaking his head. “My vampires are on the lookout for males at the brothels. I send my girls out hunting for them, and once we locate them, we rescue them as we can. The girl is the one who will be in real trouble, especially if she’s not recovered quickly. We’ve found the boys are easier to put through therapy. In the brothels, they’re taught to be rough but considerate lovers, and they treat their clients well. I partner them with a succubus to readjust their hormone levels to be what unmated lycanthrope males should have, have the ladies train them to go back into society, and find a single woman who can handle a man who has had emotional trauma.”