Page 63 of Whiskers on Kittens

While a tight fit, we crammed inside without waking the kittens, and Ernesto took care of tapping a card, which Lucifer had kept in his suit pocket, to the panel and pressing the button for the top floor. “Did your portion of the hunt go well?”

“Quite. I have accomplished all my goals including some acquisitions I hoped would come to fruition but couldn’t assure.” Lucifer adjusted how he held little Matthew. “This is a rather fun age. They’re grown enough to ask questions, developed enough to understand the questions they ask, and capable of unrestrained joy they’ll remember in the years to come. They will remember the trauma, but on the heels of the trauma will be a few weeks where they have lived in paradise. They’ll be able to skip to the front of the lines and endure minimal waits, you’ll let them eat all the unhealthy food they want while at the park although you will be compelled to feed them proper dinners. In good news, after two weeks of non-stop playing, the kittens will be quite tired and need to recharge their batteries, which is when you’ll head back to your home. Of course, you’ll have to juggle five sleepy kittens when you get in, but that’s a small matter. They’ll tame their parents through seeking out the comforts of love and naps.”

I foresaw the loss of my sanity but I would call in backup if needed. Surely someone could help me.

The Devil laughed at me.

Once in the penthouse, we put the kittens to bed in one of the guest rooms featuring an oversized king bed. Once freed from carrying Mollie, Darlene vanished to reappear a few minutes later with five different blanket and pillow sets, each one labeled for which kitten it belonged to.

“Kittens in large litters like this rarely have things that are just theirs. They’re used to sharing blankets. These will become their comfort blankets, and while it will drive their parents more than a little crazy down the road, this is what is best for them right now.” The succubus smiled, and she took her time tucking each kitten in.

I made a mental note to follow her example, just in case the kittens woke while we were tucking them in. Once Darlene finished her work, I pawed at her leg to indicate I wanted to be freed of the lights and hat so I could shapeshift and begin attending to planning where I’d take the kittens, feeding them, and otherwise situating the next few weeks of my life to my liking.

Rather than free me, Darlene bent over, picked me up, and situated my front paws on her shoulder while supporting my hind paws against one of her forearms. “Lucy, attend to her male. I shall handle the kitty.”

“Handle does not mean teleport her to hell and indulge in a kidnapping,” Lucifer replied in a mild tone.

Darlene pouted.

“You may teleport her to hell for breakfast, a change of clothes, and some pampering in your jet tub. I can handle Ernesto, Easton, and the children for a while. Bring more of the powder. They’ll surely need it before the week is out.”

“Hungry, hungry lycanthropes,” Darlene replied with a laugh before she teleported away, taking me with her.

TWENTY

“My darling loves when people stand up to her.”

Lucifer’s mansion took everything I thought about excess, multiplied it, and sprinkled in some extra extravagance. After I shifted and she dressed me up like one of Santa’s little helpers because she wanted to, she took me on a tour.

She had more pet fish than any sane sentient should, and she introduced each and every one by name. We lost four hours to her fish. Her clear favorite was a red one in her office named Ruby.

Ruby may as well have hung the stars in her sky.

Ruby had many sons and daughters, and I gave it a few years before the red fish took over Lucifer’s many hells. It ultimately took a fight, where I went for the succubus’s throat, to convince someone I needed to go back to the mortal coil. I viewed myself the winner of the dispute, as I had managed to pull out some of her fur along with destroying her clothes in the process.

Somehow, the skimpy little red and white dress had survived my attempt to murder the Queen of Hell for testing my patience.

A rather bemused Belial, in a more standard demonic form, kept me tucked under his arm, teleporting me to the penthouse’s dining room. “Lucifer, do tend to your darling. She has had numerous chunks of fur ripped out for testing Kelsie’s patience. Her attire was also destroyed during the dispute. I suspect Kelsie’s virus became testy following separation from her wolf.”

I twisted around and wiggled for a better view but saw no sign of Easton. “Where is he?”

“He is still a wolf, curled in bed with the kittens. One of them had a nightmare, and he climbed in with them to offer comfort. He is now serving as a pillow for three of them.” Lucifer took me from Belial, set me on my feet, and pulled bits of his wife’s fur out from beneath my nails. “What tested her patience?”

“Your wife decided Kelsie needed to meet every single one of her fish and hear their life stories. Three hours in, the wise devils gathered to watch the fireworks. I helped to separate them when the cat fight broke out. Kelsie had decided to sit on your wife’s back and pull fur out of her tail after demonstrating it was possible for a lycanthrope to pretzel a succubus. She was not expecting to be twisted into a living pretzel. The other succubi are rearranging her limbs to be back in their regular positions and dealing with the dislocation or two she suffered from provoking a lycanthrope.”

Rather than get upset, Lucifer patted my back and praised me. “My darling loves when people stand up to her. Expect hopeful texts for dates to the spa and to our house.”

“What?” I blurted, blinking and trying to compute how violence had resulted in the victim of my short temper wanting to go on dates with me.

Belial snickered, smoothed my hair and adjusted my dress, and said, “Darlene is a unique being. She was testing your tolerance, and you did so well until she threatened to go visit every single one of Ruby’s children. Had she fed you before taking you on the tour, she may have escaped with her fur.”

Laughing and shaking his head, Lucifer said, “I’ll go tend to my wife. Belial, feed the lycanthropes and get them settled. Ernesto and his entourage have already left but there is quite the guard keeping an eye on the place. Do as you feel is best.”

“I’ll keep an eye on things.”

Lucifer vanished, leaving behind a faint hint of brimstone.

“Darlene, upon escaping the succubi keeping her occupied, would teleport over and start another fight. That’s one of her ways of showing affection, especially with the lycanthropes. She either attacks or cuddles her target into submission. You’ll get used to it. She doesn’t normally pick cat fights, especially not with other cats, unless she likes the cat she’s fighting with. It’s a rite of passage. You won the dispute, as evidenced by claiming her fur as your trophy. There’s also the benefit of not dealing with Lucifer for a while, as he’ll dote on her and make sure she’s fed properly.” Belial gestured in the direction of the bedrooms. “We can check on the wolf and the kittens, but I expect you’ll have several hours of peace and quiet. We’ll handle the cooking duties. We’ve more than a few fucking assholes who enjoy cooking in residence, and they’re almost done their time, so we can make use of them with service they enjoy before they’re put to rest until their souls return to the mortal coil.”