Page 38 of Old Secrets

Pa had always wanted to do the right thing, for me, for his lost child, and for his fosters. In the end, he had done his best, and it had cost him his life.

My biological parents could never replace my pa, but I could see them snapping into place where my ma had once been, taking over that part of my life with some work and emotional tape until therapy turned the whole mess into something I could live with.

I settled against Jake, and I shifted my position until I could consider my father. “You needed someone like me when I was a baby.”

“We were told about your work and what you do. You’re not wrong. We needed more than that, I suspect, but had someone with your integrity been watching over you when you had been but an infant, things would be different.”

“I was stolen from my original adoptive parents. We only found that out recently. They were murdered, and the killings were staged by human hands to resemble the work of wolves—but it wasn’t supposed to be wolves, was it? It was supposed to be the work of foxes.”

My father nodded. “We have seen those pictures. They are much like we are when we choose to adopt our third form, one you might one day claim for yourself. Amrita? Do you want to show them the truth?”

I twisted on Jake’s lap in time to witness my mother rise, offer a grim smile, and nod. “I will return soon enough to show you the truth of it. I will warn our hosts that you two seek comfort with each other, and that it is a thing distressed foxes do. I will offer our apologies for breaching their traditions on that score, and it will be no matter. I will also have some things brought along with tea. I have not shown this Inquisition these things, but I feel the time is right. They brought us hope in their search, and we will work together to secure a future for us all.”

She swept out of the room, and I worried about what other secrets I might uncover before the day was done.

“Don’t look so worried, Karma. The only ones who should worry are those who stand in our way. Now that we are free, we will teach them the meaning of fear, not that they will retain the lesson for long, for we will leave nothing but the memory of their sins in our wake,” my father promised.

After living among Fenerec for so long, I’d erased the idea that man and beast could be blended together to create some strange hybrid. Everything about my mother, with a frosted blue coat of fur, screamed she was a fox, but she stood on two pawed feet armed with long, curved claws.

It took her tapping one such claw to realize she reminded me of a dinosaur in some ways, equipped with weapons meant for one purpose: hunting.

If I were to give a Utah raptor a narrower body, longer arms with more resemblance to hands, a coat of thick, plush fur, and a fox’s head, it would become a being very similar to my mother. Her paws, with claws longer than the whole of my hand, would fill my nightmares for months or years to come.

Jake whistled. “I am getting cuddly horror movie vibes right now, and I’m disturbed over my general reaction to this. And Karma will be able to shift into this shape?”

My mother bobbed her head, and more like a giant bird than a fox, she crossed the distance to us in a single hop, and her furred tail lashed side to side. Her ear position and body language along with scent implied she rejoiced at her form.

As I doubted she would eat me for testing my luck, I hopped off Jake’s lap and dared to stroke my hand over her head.

Her fur redefined what it meant to be soft, and the fox in me demanded to snuggle with the predator capable of devouring me in three or four bites.

I did as the fox wanted, discovering a thick plush coat. I breathed in deep, and the scent of fox and something else comforted the animal within me.

With a growing sense of regret, I realized my fox traveled back to our first few hours of life and rejoiced in the scent she knew as our mother. More of the pieces of my life clicked into place, including so many of my behavior problems as a child.

My fox had always been with me, and she had known the bitter truth, of how she had been sent away to a family who’d loved us to witness them be murdered as our littermates had been murdered, turned over to a pa who loved us and a ma who never had, not in truth.

Later, I would weep for it all, but for the moment, I made room for the fox so she could reclaim what had been taken from her.

“This is how I have kept my Amrita for so long, young one. When we are free to assume our truest shape, she will do the same as your Karma does. I do as well. It is comforting. Amrita will not mind you being familiar. Our daughter has chosen you, and you bring her joy, and that is all we care about.”

If only all parents could offer such a gift to their children, the world would be a far better place. Jake needed no additional encouragement, and he joined me in admiring my mother’s coat, although judging from the sound of his voice, he did not bury his face into the fur as I did. “She’s a different color than Karma.”

“Yes. Right now, she is in her summer coat, which is darker and better suited to the mountain rocks when there is no snow for us to hide within. Our winter coats are white with a blue-gray sheen, which hides us well and keeps our prey from detecting us. We have seen pictures of our daughter as a fox, and her coloration is as we were when we were young and away from our mountains. In time, she will develop our coloration, although we always have dark hair tipped with white when we are human.”

“And this form?”

“She is old enough now to be taught the trick of it, and it’s a good thing for her to learn, especially if you wish to have a litter. She can nurse the litter when they’re human or kits in this shape without issue, although she will be able to transform as her heart desires. Pregnancy is a rather lengthy affair, but my Amrita bears the burden with much grace and little suffering.”

While I lacked the courage to find out for myself, Jake threw himself in with a disconcerting amount of enthusiasm.

“How long will a pregnancy be?” If Jake had a tail, judging from his tone, he’d be wagging it even more than I tended to do.

“For those who had, before we were locked away in our sanctuary, joined with a human, the pregnancies have been the same as when we breed with each other—three to five years. Their children were not quite so long lived and were not joined with a fox as we are, but they were strong and healthy. I do not know what will happen with your litter, although you will find we are suited for breeding with others who are not just like us. None of our previous children lived long enough to see how they would grow, but Karma seems to have inherited all that our line has to offer her.”

I pulled away from my mother in time to witness Jake nod. “We’d always thought she was an earth witch because she struggles with swimming. But that’s not the case really, is it?”

“We were told of what your Inquisition feels witchcraft is, and our art is not the same, although there are similarities. Her issues are simple enough. She is as much my child as she is her mother’s child. Should she try to drown, once she breathes in some water, she will adapt to the environment and find it quite comfortable. That’s from me. The water loves us, so it welcomes us into its embrace. The Earth likewise loves her and will share its favor with her, I am sure. But once she actually is put in a situation where she cannot breathe air, she will learn how to breathe water, much as I do. It will be quite natural for her.”