Page 51 of Up in Smoke

Fucking parents. “I mean, they took care of me and weren’t bad parents. They just didn’t love me. I knew that, they knew that, so we just made it work. I think I turned out all right, so they did an okay job raising me. I wouldn’t say I was abused. I will go out on a branch and state I was emotionally neglected. I was taught the required life skills to get by, and I managed okay. I just developed a severe and relentless need to remove them from my life as quickly as possible. Overall, I think I’ve succeeded.”

Sandro blinked, and then he narrowed his eyes. “I hadn’t thought of it like that. Everyone is a product of their childhood. I hate what they tried to do to you as an adult, but you’re smart, intelligent, and resourceful. That doesn’t happen by accident.”

“No, it doesn’t. They taught me how to be self-reliant. But I can’t remember ever going hungry. I think they’d wait until I was hungry enough to try to figure out how to fend for myself, and they taught me just what I needed to know to figure it out. And by the time I left, I knew they didn’t want me around. I hadn’t been born right.” I gestured to my ears. “Personally, I think I’m vixen perfection. These ears and tail? There is nothing wrong with them. Every strand of my fur is perfection.”

Sandro relaxed beside me on the couch. “I really have no idea how you emerged from your life with such a healthy self-esteem. And yes, your ears and tail are perfection, and I do enjoy running my fingers through your fur. And when you weren’t feeling well and I was caring for your tail, I appreciated how much you enjoyed the attention.”

My pride took a dive out the nearest window, but after a moment of reflection, I realized I hadn’t minded being vulnerable. No, I hadn’t minded being vulnerable with him.

Sneaky man.

“I don’t know, either. I guess I just got stubborn about it. If nobody else would love me, I’d love myself. And my hair and fur? Perfection like that should be admired at a minimum. As for the rest, well… I’m a scavenger. I understand how people view me. But nobody needs the stuff I take, and I scavenge what would otherwise rot away after storms. It worked out well. Except I don’t need to scavenge anymore, so I will view it as looking for treasures.”

“If you want to go look for treasure, I’m certainly not going to stop you. However, I do ask you come home for supper, otherwise I’ll drag you home by that pretty little tail.”

I could see him doing that, too. “You realize I’m going to be late for supper sometimes just so you will, right?”

“That’s half the fun. So, let’s discover what your friend left you, shall we? And don’t feel like you have to avoid crying. If you need to cry, cry. In your shoes, I’d probably cry, too.”

“Frankie was a good woman. I just wish her death could have been avoided.”

“I know. I am concerned about what he said.”

“You mean Brent?”

“Yes.”

“About her not initially having access to the hospital?”

Sandro nodded.

“I mean, she wasn’t much different from me, and you had to fight to get me into the hospital, too. To a lot of people down here, we’re just using precious resources they want for themselves. I’ve known that all along.”

“That doesn’t mean it’s right.”

I nodded. “And that’s why we’re going to do our best to fix it.”