Page 26 of Catnapped

“There is a reason I tend to only visit for the holidays and haven’t disclosed the specifics of my job. They are happy thinking I’m just a low-level secretary in the CDC.” I grimaced. “I love my parents and don’t want to be disowned, so I’ll go to their church with them when they ask, I participate in their religious holidays, but I otherwise keep my head down.”

“You? Low level?”

“That is what they think.”

“You go to dinner with Lucifer fairly often. How are you a low-level anything?”

“It’s easier than trying to challenge their beliefs. I’m also a practitioner. They believe all practitioners are going to hell.” I shrugged. “At the rate I’m going, I will be. I’m not going there to be punished, but I’ll help run the place.”

“There’s something to be said for making challenging goals.”

I laughed. “Are you sure all this stuff will help us find my cat?”

“I’m a hundred percent certain the television and gaming console stuff won’t help you find your cat, but it will help you lower stress levels while searching for your cat, which makes it a sound investment.”

“Think I can teach my cat to play games with me?”

“Well, you definitely won’t know until you try, but I suspect your cat will be happy to sit on your couch with you while you play. That said, why have a couch at all if you don’t have a television or console?”

“Reading books,” I answered with a delicate sniff. “I don’t have time for television.”

“I’m starting to think I was recruited to be a therapy plan to normalize you for life outside of work. I’m okay with this. But as I’m taking a role as your personal therapist, you have to let me buy the console, the starter games, and the travel television. As I’m a spoiled personal therapist, you’ll also have to consent to me purchasing the actual television, too. I have needs, Diana, and they must be met.”

“Frankly, if you help me find my cat, you can basically do whatever you want, and I’ll probably be all right with it.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

One small fortune later, we escaped the store and loaded the SUV. I expected some form of ritual for Darian to find a path to where my cat had been experimented on, but he rubbed Mr. Flooferson’s fur between his fingers, frowned, and waited. Within a minute, he nodded and pointed to the west. “My guess about Humboldt county is looking pretty good. The path is stronger than usual, so I’ve got a general fix on direction and a path for us to go. It’s not usually that clear. It happens sometimes, but I try not to question my good fortune when it does.”

“Got a town I can plug into the navigation system to get us close?”

“Alderpoint. Once we start getting close to there, we’ll go based off the path. I’m hoping the lab is closer to Bridgeville. Alderpoint tends to be basic narcotics operations, but they’ve got a reputation I’d rather avoid. There are some spots around Bridgeville with known labs, and it’s a bit safer. It’s along a more major route.”

“And anywhere tourists might go tends to be better monitored by law enforcement?” I guessed.

“Precisely. Law enforcement doesn’t like when the tourists go missing because of illegal activities. They’re less inclined to care what happens to the illegal drug runners and lab operators.” Darian tapped in the town, selected the general store, and started the navigation system. “If it does take us to Alderpoint, don’t be too alarmed by the town’s sign. Folks find it amusing to shoot the sign. People don’t actually open fire on each other on the streets.” After a moment of hesitation, he added, “Usually.”

“The usually part of your statement is a little worrisome.”

“In good news, if it is towards Bridgeville, we won’t be taking the route that heads to Alderpoint. To get to Alderpoint, you turn off to a different road before reaching Bridgeville. In bad news, we’ll be getting well into Humboldt county before we know for certain.”

“That’s something.” Aware his magic had a timer and we had almost a four hour trip ahead of us, I got on the road, focusing most of my attention on driving while Darian rummaged through the bags of loot we’d purchased at the store. “You’re not paying me back for that laptop.”

“And you’re not paying me back for the ninety-inch television I will be purchasing for our gaming adventures. Or the other consoles. Or the rest of the games I fully intend on ordering and having shipped to my parents to hold while you handle the driving. I’m also going to send Lucifer a text informing him you do not own a vehicle.”

“That’s rather ruthless. What did I do to deserve that?”

“I figured you would neglect to mention your lack of a vehicle, which would result in it not being added to your hiring terms, thus you’d short yourself on your hiring bonus. My mother warned me about the complications women usually face when being hired, and I’m going to make certain the Devil pays his dues for a change rather than the other way around. Mostly, I get to help Lucy spend his money, and this is highly appealing to me. I’m blaming Dad for this.”

“The freedom must be getting to your head.”

“Possibly a little. To be fair, I set my parents loose to buy a house, so I’m going to have space for my new television, and considering the terms of the agreement, Lucifer is going to take his time deciding justice has been served. I have plans on sending my house wishlist to my parents while we’re on the road. Lucifer will let you work wherever you want, although I expect he’ll want you in an area with an easy portal so you can head to hell whenever you want, unless you pick a species that allows teleportation.”

“Well, I won’t be picking succubus, that’s for sure. Half the reason I haven’t engaged with men is because I’m a little more loyal than most of the men to catch my eye, but I’m smart and realized this before I even tried to date them.”

“Smart. With my genetics, monogamy is basically inevitable. Sure, Dad’s a devil, but he’s hardwired to be loyal; it’s part of how Lucifer created him. Lucifer needed an ally he wouldn’t have to worry about all that much. My dad is quite good at his ruinations, but he does it on Lucifer’s behalf. He has no tolerance for even suggesting he betray Lucifer. Add in my father’s tendencies, and I won’t even be a candidate for a triad myself. I’m a little too greedy and selfish when it comes to any potential partners. And jealous. Mom thinks I’m hopeless.”

“My parents are actually pleased I do not live in a state of general sin. I’m sure the instant they find out I’m running around with a single man roughly my age, I will be deemed a sinner.”