Page 25 of Wild Wolf

“Lane respects you because of it, because after having looked over your general file, he was right. If you took the kill shot, you’d be the best in the field, but you prefer not to kill unless absolutely necessary.”

“Death can’t be undone.”

“No, it can’t,” she agreed. “What do you think I should do?”

I wondered when the last time Amber had gotten to decide something for herself. “I think you need to do what you want, not what anyone else wants for you. What I want for you doesn’t matter. What Desmond wants for you doesn’t matter. What Nicole wants for you doesn’t matter. What Richard wants for you doesn’t matter. But, if this helps, pretend you’re moving to a remote part of Russia with the intention of never seeing any of them again. Does that make you happy?”

“No, it doesn’t.”

“You didn’t even think about that,” I commented.

“I didn’t have to. When we came here, all I could think about was how lonely you must be. But then we discovered you have a nice wolf keeping you some company, but that’s not the same either, is it?”

“It’s not.”

“Are you happy living in a remote part of Russia?” she asked, her tone amused.

“Not particularly. I found it was rather easy giving Dante a call, and it only took one opportunity for me to do so. Once I decided to, it wasn’t hard at all.” I checked on the fire, prodded the coals to help keep the temperature closer to what Richard needed for his baking bread, and shrugged. “Well, there are some things I like. I liked building this cabin. The culture here is different, and I like seeing those differences. But I was never happy with the reason why I’ve been living in a remote part of Russia.”

“I can understand that, especially since you don’t like killing at all. Why are you willing to perform the ritual on me?”

“Do I need a reason?” I shrugged. “I can make a few guesses on why my wolf is willing. It involves his general interest in capable women, something that hasn’t been an option until now. And while he was intrigued by any single woman to cross his path, his reaction to Julie, especially at the end, wasn’t positive.”

“She was on the verge of running wild, and wild wolves don’t make wise choices. But yes, I’d noticed how uncomfortable you’d been around her. And yes, I was aware of how much I intrigued you.”

“Intrigue. You have not stopped intriguing me,” I corrected.

She chuckled. “Was it the SEALs, or are you interested in cougars?”

It took me a moment to remember cougars were older women hunting younger men. “You’re like a gold medal cougar, aren’t you?”

“I really am. My last date was a decade ago, Declan.”

I snorted my laughter. “I have you beat. I’ve never been on a date.”

“Ever?” Amber blurted.

“My mother taught me wolves mate for life, and my wolf made it clear that is his way just like she said. I’ve never been able to offer a woman that sort of security, so no. I’ve never dated. I never met another Fenerec before meeting Desmond, and my mother had taught me I’d be killed if anyone figured out what I was—and she’d been killed for being a witch. I wasn’t going to take that risk.”

“That must have been lonely for you. Fenerec don’t do well alone.”

“It’s all I’ve ever known.”

“It’s hard being old,” Amber admitted. “I just can’t afford to do anything that takes time. I don’t have any time left.”

“Like time to accept proposals from random men who blurt them out because you beat on SEALs for fun?”

She chuckled. “Yes, I haven’t felt I have time for things like that. Had I been fifty years younger, I might’ve spent some time thinking about it before issuing a rejection. Your work with the sniper rifle would have won you a date for certain.”

“Can you shine some light on why Julie behaved like that?”

“Even before being kidnapped, Julie wasn’t all that stable. Being kidnapped didn’t help her stability. According to Patricia, they were treated well enough, but Julie and her wolf were already borderline. She needed a better pack and a chance to reform. As far as I can tell, she viewed Lane and Anthony as competition. If they were around, you would be focused on caring for them. Which is accurate, because you do initially act like an Alpha. It’s like you’re both an Alpha and an Omega in one package. You have many Alpha tendencies, but you otherwise act like an Omega.”

“Does it matter if I’m an Alpha or an Omega?”

“It does,” Amber admitted. “If you’re an Omega, you’ll be able to help other Fenerec regain control if they’re borderline, and all you’d have to do is walk into the room.”

“Well, that didn’t work with Julie.”