Page 82 of License to Kill

“On that front, there isn’t really a whole lot to talk about. I was wrong, and I should have, from the start, told my idiot parents to go fuck themselves rather than trying to make them happy. You paid the price for my stupidity, and you were justified in walking out. All that said, I never once even entertained the idea of cheating on you. Yes, you smelled other women on me. Those women were either co-workers, vics who needed physical contact with someone, or the wives of pack members. Very few of the pack’s women are Fenerec because of the loss of puppies, and the ones who are Fenerec tend to keep their distance, probably because of the general divides between Fenerec and Normals or Fenerec-born. The situation with you has only made these divides worse. I’m not the only one who has wanted a mate in the pack but species has prevented it. The difference between you and them is simple. You need a pack.”

I did. Even though I had no idea what most of the howls in my head meant or how to cope with the ghostly emotions that sometimes pricked my senses, but the sensations had glued together many of the broken pieces and allowed me to breathe without waiting to fall apart again. Instead of waiting for the end or drowning under the weight of my misery, I could think again.

The misery and depression still lurked under my skin, but I could stand up against them rather than bend to the point of breaking. I picked up my hot chocolate, blew on it, and took a sip. “Amelia seemed to do well enough outside of a pack, but she wanted one and a mate.”

“I know. She’s been a rogue a long time. I was highly amused when she left the pack, saying she’d rather be on her own than stuck with a bunch of sticks in the mud with no respect for the wolves in the pack or their mates. And by not valuing you because you’re different, they made it clear the pack didn’t deserve her. She went to Florida only until she could get clearance to go rogue again. There are steps Fenerec need to take. I expect it’s only a matter of time before you are evaluated and required to obey those rules, too. I expect you’ll be moved from pack to pack with more care than is taken with wolves, as it’s been established your emotional and mental stability requires pack structure.”

“Because I’m new at being a fox?”

“No, I think it’s because you’re a lot more social than wolves, and much like Fenerec, those instincts develop over time. You haven’t been shifting all that long, so you’re going through the equivalent of our puppy stage. Worse, we have no idea how long your puppy stage lasts, if you’ll have hormonal alterations like our women do, or anything else like that. You’re a great deal more aggressive in bed than most Fenerec women, too. I mean, don’t get me wrong. Fenerec are active, but when you want to go to bed, the instant I show any mutual interest, you’re out for my throat. Personally, I love it, but I’ve learned I better be ready for you or I’m going to bleed.”

My face heated. “It’s your fault!”

He laughed. “I’m okay with that. That means I’m doing something right, and while I’ve gotten a lot wrong, I’ll take what I can get at this point. You’re going to have to wait until we go home to indulge in blatant bloodshed, though.”

“I guess wolves don’t bite like I do, do they?”

“Not quite the same. We do bite, but we usually nip just enough to get the point across. You dig your teeth in and refuse to let go until you’re sure I’m going to cooperate with you. For the record, you could accomplish the same goal with a light nip. Your enthusiasm is more extreme than ours, but as I’m the subject of your enthusiasm, I don’t mind. I heal a lot faster than you do. It does make me wonder why your instinct is to bite as hard as you can. Perhaps foxes have dominance fights with their mates in bed? Or perhaps my little vixen wants me to prove how badly I want her?”

My face burned even hotter. “I’ll try not to bite. I’m sorry.”

“You can bite me, Karma. I like it. I’m a sucker for punishment. And if that’s what’s natural for you, then you should indulge. However, we’re going to establish a few rules.” Jake pointed at his shoulder. “Bite there rather than on my neck when you want me to bleed because I’m not doing what you want fast enough.”

If my face burned any hotter, I would spontaneously combust. “I’ll try really hard not to bite. That hard. Nibble. I’ll try to nibble.”

Jake narrowed his eyes. “I’m not sure I have the fortitude to survive you nibbling on me, Karma. If you start nibbling, you’re going to drive me even wilder than you already do.”

Hm. “Is that a threat, a promise, or both?”

“Nibble on me and find out.”

“You can assume I have accepted your invitation to test what nibbling will do to you after I finish my hot chocolate and have a chance to enjoy the fire.”

“Excellent. See? Talking isn’t bad, although I’ll admit, I’m not quite as relaxed as I was hoping to be.”

While everything had fallen apart, I could still figure out the appropriate response to his statement. I leered at him. “I wonder why.”

“You win.”

I laughed at that. “Okay. Do we agree that your parents are asses?”

“We are agreed on that. Frankly, you’ll probably forgive them a hell of a lot sooner than I will. I’m pretty angry at them right now. I might stop being angry at them if you convince me I should stop being angry at them. I’m a little less angry at my father because he taught me how to bring you into the pack.”

“He offered a bunch of keys and his body as a combat dummy. That’s pretty high up there on the groveling charts.”

“You have to make them work for forgiveness.”

I thought about it. “But I’m being bribed with something I might really like, Jake.”

“Okay. I’m tentatively okay with you forgiving my father if he serves as a combat dummy for you, but my mother still has usable kitchen gadgets, their house is still standing, and she might still have a few good towels left. They should earn your forgiveness. Even more so than I need to.”

I could understand his view on the matter.

Without their pressure, we probably wouldn’t have fallen apart in the first place.

“That’s fair,” I conceded. “We will generally permit your father into our space if he brings keys and will stand in as a combat dummy once I’m back into better shape.”

Jake reached over, picked up a strawberry, and offered it to me. “Take it, or I’m going to wait for you to try to say something and shove it in your mouth.”