Page 3 of License to Kill

I shrugged. “Deal with it. It’s not my problem now. We’re done. You should have picked someone who cared a little less about being an equal.” I jerked my arm free. “Don’t touch me again.”

“Karma.”

“Stop saying my name while you’re at it. This isn’t up for negotiation. You missed your chance to negotiate. You’re staying out late with other women, and you stand there daring to claim you want to talk to me? Fuck you. It’s over. We can talk about finalizing our divorce later, but there’s no us. I’ll send papers along after the separation period. You picked everyone else over me, and I’m tired of being the leftovers. You had your chance, and you decided to use it working cases while leaving me hanging out to dry. Goodbye. Don’t call, don’t bother me, and don’t look for me. Since I’m no longer on the active duty roster, I don’t need a partner, so I don’t need or want you in my life anymore.”

“They’re reinstating you as an agent.”

Maybe a few months ago, that load of bullshit might have mattered. “The likelihood I am going to believe that is zero.”

“The FBI can overturn your leave at any time and give you special agent status at their discretion,” he reminded me. “You’ll have to qualify again, but that’s a simple matter for you. Let’s talk about this.”

“I told you, Jake. I’m done talking. If I’m magically reinstated and I fail to show for duty, well, they can send somebody to arrest me. Prison’s a better deal than this. Don’t wait up for me, and don’t bother with following me. I’m not going to change my mind.” I grabbed my bag and slung it over my shoulder, and I closed the door behind me. I headed down the steps to the walkway and into the darkness.

For once in his life, Jake listened to me, and he didn’t follow.

Two

My first mistake was believing my ma would always, deep down, love me no matter what I did.

I spent the first night in a dingy motel I paid for in cash to limit anyone’s chances of tracking me. I waited for the morning, sleeping in fits and bursts until dawn, when I texted my ma that I could meet with her at any time.

When she texted and asked where she should pick me up for a talk, I thought things might not be as bad as I’d believed. She hated divorce, and she liked Jake when she wasn’t angry at me for being stubborn. If anyone could figure out how to make things better, it’d be her. I couldn’t tell her about the men and women who could become wolves, but I could ask where I’d gone wrong, if it was worth fixing, and if she’d forgive me for failing within a year of foolishly marrying the man.

My first mistake was believing my ma would always, deep down, love me no matter what I did.

Staring down the barrel of a gun did a pretty good job of making it clear where I stood with her. The shock of her pointing a gun at me partnered with the ruins of the rest of my life and made my choice simple.

What was the point of fighting back? I had nowhere left to go, nothing to do, and the hope of having a family if I couldn’t have a pack crumbled to nothing.

My fox’s despair drowned me.

A swift end would be better for both of us. She—no, we—had fought for life in England, but the reasons we’d fought no longer existed.

I would have burned the world for Jake when I’d believed him dead and gone back then, but those days were over. He’d embraced the work I couldn’t do and kept secrets when I proved to be a less than ideal wife and not the mate I was supposed to be.

That hurt my fox most of all, and her heartbroken cries echoed in my head.

My ma didn’t say a word, and neither did I. She drove with the gun on her lap, easy enough pickings if I decided to make a grab for the weapon.

I didn’t.

My fox understood and didn’t question my choice.

She’d lost her reason to fight, too.

Ma took me to the woods to a rundown trailer, and I smelled the old blood and decay long before we reached it. With the gun still pointed at me, she gestured to the battered door. “I hope you’ve said your prayers.”

I breathed in deep, and beneath the blood and decay, the one scent I didn’t want reaching my nose did.

My pa was inside, and I didn’t need to see him to understand his fate. “You killed Pa.”

“You sound so certain. I always knew you were a little too smart for your own good. I suppose this is the perfect sort of place to make bodies disappear for a while, isn’t it? Well, it’s time you paid the piper. If you’d been a better human, we wouldn’t be here. But no. You had to be one of those sick animals that just looks like a human. I should have killed you the moment we figured out what you were, but no. You charmed us both. What harm could a little baby do? We should have known better. We thought we could make you human. We were wrong. And he refused to believe in your sin even at the end. You infected him.”

I’d done worse than just infect Ma and Pa with my nature; I’d influenced Jake as well, and I’d left when he couldn’t give me what my tainted heart had wanted most of all.

Ma would kill me like she’d killed Pa, and I deserved it.

“Tell me why first.”