Page 94 of Hoofin’ It

“Neither is he, and it drives him insane.” Smirking, I linked my arm with hers and pulled her back towards the mall. “I believe it’s time to find a clothing store. You don’t have to model wedding dresses. The dresses just have to be white. I can also live with skirts, if you find a white one you like. But I think showing off your legs should be mandatory.”

“I should be complaining, you know.”

“You’ve pinched my ass at least five times since we arrived at the mall.”

“It’s not my fault it’s so tempting and those pants fit you so well. It’s begging to be touched.”

“So we’re even. You can keep stealing pinches as long as I can openly admire your legs. We’re sexist pigs in equal proportions. It works out for everyone. You can even upgrade from pinching to gentle caresses if you like.”

“How about a solid slap?”

“Two-way street. If you slap, I slap. If we start slapping, I might have to leave my parents with Ernesto and take you home.” I paused. “I’m not sure that’s a bad thing.”

“We should rescue your parents.”

“I suppose we should, shouldn’t we? I’ll be happy if you try on one white dress before our daring rescue of my parents from a vampire’s clutches.”

“And what if I want to try on a black dress?”

“You can try on as many dresses as you like. I’m a patient man. All I ask is that I get to see you in them.”

“You just want to see what I look like in a dress so you know how much effort to put into winning the bet.”

“Either way, I win the bet. If you can’t keep your hands off me when I’m wearing a suit, I win. Since I have no doubt you’re gorgeous in a dress, I win. No matter the outcome, I’m a winner.”

Marian stared at me, her mouth ajar and her eyes wide. “I’m pretty sure that’s cheating.”

“How is it cheating?”

“I’m supposed to enjoy you wearing suits.”

“You do, don’t you? Just because you can’t keep your hands off me when I’m wearing one doesn’t invalidate the bet. If my goal is to have you eager to come home with me, then it works in my favor to dress appropriately.”

“I see. You’re willing to make sacrifices for sex.”

“You only have yourself to blame for this one. I have a sample size of one.” I gestured to the mall. “Pick your poison.”

“Most women would kill for a man willing to take her shopping without complaint.”

“I’ll even buy the first dress, but if you bankrupt me, you’ll have to move in with me and pay half my rent.”

She laughed. “Or you’ll have to move in with me and beg for scraps and work off your rent with manual labor. Emphasis on the man part of manual.”

“I’m out of my league in this discussion, but I’m pretty sure my answer is supposed to be okay. Where do you live and will I need clothes for my work?”

“You need clothes to leave the bedroom. It’s a rule. Inside my bedroom, you may dress however you like. View it as gift wrapping yourself for my pleasure.”

“You know, a month ago, I was destined to be alone for the rest of my life, dying a virgin.”

“Why would you think that?”

I pointed at my false eye and scar. “I wasn’t pretty before the scar. Add in the lycanthropy issue, my decision to become a cop in a city that hates lycanthropes, and general inability to figure out what women are thinking, and I was pretty sure I was going to be alone for the rest of my life.”

Marian hopped a few steps ahead of me and pressed her hand to my chest. I halted, loving the way she scowled at me. “Listen here, you.”

When Dad smiled at Mom’s annoyance, she found ways to get back at him, but I understood him. For the moment, Marian gifted me with her undivided attention, and that alone was worth smiling about. “I’m listening.”

She poked my cheek where the scar faded away to nothing. “If I wanted a dainty model, I’d have bitten one. If I wanted a man who preened in front of a mirror and thought himself God’s gift to women, they’re a dime a dozen. Maybe I want a man who has the guts to stand in front of a gun for another living being, sentient or not. Maybe I want a man who understands the value of life. Maybe I want a man who puts his money where his mouth is and has the scars to show for it. And if you never get a functional eye because we can’t afford it, then I’ll happily be your badge babe while you serve as my badge bunny. I’ll even listen when you bitch and moan about missing being on duty, because that’s what the good retired cops do.”