Page 32 of A Chip on Her Shoulder

“That is a very small sum to bring so much ruin. You have my attention, little mortal.”

“Darlene. So, what do you think?”

Belial tilted his head to the side, and he regarded me with glowing orange eyes. “You have made many plans and fantasized long about how to assign justice to sinners.”

I could only assume Belial dug around in my head to get the information he wanted.

“Yes. It is a power of most devils. Nothing is secret in this domain.”

“Well, if I cared about that, I’d be worried, but that simplifies things. Good. Were any of those ideas good?”

“They are sufficient, and they could make for excellent ruin of your targets with the correct implementation.”

“Good. I need something I can use to smack the Devil with. If you’d like to help plan some ruin, you can acquire excellent transformative substances that the CDC won’t be able to readily identify, as I do not have a wish to spend the rest of my life in prison. You can bring proposals on how best to end their miserable lives on Earth before they enjoy their stay here. I’m accepting lessons on torture techniques when the idiot I’ve chained up is tired of playing tutor.”

“Did you just call Lucifer an idiot?”

“Yes, I did.”

“Why have you not struck this creature out of existence yet?” Belial asked his master.

The Devil shrugged.

“He likes it, I have what he wants, and I keep refusing to give it to him. Right now, I’m the holder of the Devil’s chain, but it’s going to be business as mostly usual. I do recommend you don’t cross me.”

Belial’s eyes glowed hotter. “Why not?”

“The Devil’s mine, and I’m not afraid to use him.”

“Understood.”

“Oh, and Belial?”

“What is it now?”

“The Devil needs to meet some eligible bachelorettes. He probably takes all his frustrations out on you poor devils because he’s sexually repressed. Spread around to the various succubi he’s looking for a suitable bachelorette to be his queen. Just remind them that he brings a lot of power with him at the annoying price of sexual loyalty. Honestly, he’s probably so repressed she’ll have to put her life on halt for a few weeks while he gets it out of his system, but she’ll survive. I’ll do what I can to make him a little more considerate, but he’s raw material right now.”

“Are you not an eligible bachelorette?” Belial asked, his tone curious.

“Are you kidding? You do not want me permanently taking over this place.”

“May heaven forbid,” the Lord of Ruin muttered.

Chapter Seven

Do you even know what the word chastity means?

Belial brought me a riding crop with a black leather handle, a silvery shaft, and a rather wicked flaming leather swatter on the end. I accepted it with a grim smile and eyed the Devil, who remained on his desk, still chained as I left him. “Thank you, Belial.”

I didn’t need to suggest the devil get out of my hair. He teleported away, and he didn’t bother with the brimstone theatrics. I slapped the riding crop against my leg to test it.

It stung nicely, and flames danced across my leg before extinguishing. “Remind me to thank your brothers for this later.”

To make it clear I meant business, I slapped the small of the Devil’s back with the crop, earning a delightful grunt out of him. “Also, remind me to thank Belial for this, too.”

That earned me a baleful glower.

Setting the crop in easy reach, I sat in the Devil’s chair and drummed my fingers on his desk. On a whim, I typed Lorenzo Gallo in the search box. According to the computer, there were thousands of matches, and I scowled. “Does this thing have every damned soul in it?”