Page 86 of Grave Humor

The haze dimmed, fading until all that remained was a tiny speck. A hint of something, a faint chill in the air, reminded me of the presence of ghosts, although much weaker.

The chill possessed a cutting edge, as though someone dragged a frozen sheet of paper over my skin. I hissed and recoiled.

“It is not a pleasant seed, is it?” Gabriel asked, and he heaved a sigh. “You feel its potential. Cold, unyielding, and hard. But even these seeds must be replanted. That is the intent of the universe. For as long as there is good in the world, there must also be evil. For as long as there is chaos in the world, there must also be order.”

“His next life begins with that seed?” I asked, considering how something so tiny could become a person—a person capable of so much harm.

“Your life began as such a seed as well, and the universe took much care with your planting. You won’t plant every seed. But you have the option to plant the seeds. You could take this seed, put it in a box, and then find the right people to give it to. An infertile woman may become fertile with the right seed. And a corrupted, cold seed can become warm with the right planting. Go on. Cup it in your hand. You won’t hurt it.”

“So I shouldn’t hit it with the weed whacker a few times first?”

“I would not.”

I regarded the last remnant of Hammel’s life, heaved a sigh, and put the weed whacker down. I stepped around the picnic blanket so I wouldn’t disturb Darlene, who slept through our conversation with no sign of waking. The closer I got to the seed, the colder the air became. “It’s really cold.”

“That is a consequence of the life he led. In life, he was not what anyone would call a good man. He sometimes did good things, such as providing you with food when your paycheck was not enough to cover your costs, but he did not do it for any care for you. It would have cost him more money to find someone new, and he would have had to pay them better. He knew this. Even his good deeds were motivated by greed.”

“Won’t he be just as bad if he’s replanted like this?”

As one, the archangels shrugged, and Azrael joined me, took hold of my hands, and pulled me close enough to envelop the seed between my palms. He released me and patted my shoulder. “Right now, the seed reflects its origins, its previous life. Right now, his soul faces the consequences of his actions in life. When his punishment has concluded, you will find the soul will warm until it is a more neutral entity. Few souls have a hard alignment with the forces of good, evil, order, or chaos. Nurture is as important as nature. As you are what you are, you can choose to keep this seed safe in your custody until it is time for it to be replanted—and by the time he has been brought back into balance, you will understand how you can manipulate the seeds of life.”

Eoghan grunted. “You’re going to give her ideas, Azrael.”

“Yes, I am. That is my intention. She needs to learn her role, and while you are neutrality and I am considered the more benevolent face of death, she must learn all of her role, which has as much capacity of good as it does evil. And sometimes, evil and darkness is what needs to be planted. And that is what she must be prepared for. The light cannot shine without the darkness, Eoghan. This is the way of the universe. She is the one who can bring light to the darkness—and create darkness so the light may shine. I’m sure you’ll have some glorious arguments over some souls she opts to keep in her custody until she decides what to do with them. If you’re particularly unlikely, she might even cherry pick the souls of your offspring. I expect you’ll find yourself the father of abused souls. She is the type. She cannot save everyone, and she recognizes this, but there will come a point that she can save one, so she will. And she will seduce you to do so.”

I opened my mouth to protest such a plan, spent a moment to think it through, realized the bastard asshole of an archangel spoke the truth, and snapped my teeth together with a clack.

Azrael laughed at me.

“You are a feathered menace. Are you sure you are not the devil’s henchman?”

“I assure you I am not. I am merely honest. What will you do with that seed, Anwen? This is but the first of many choices you will have to make about the nature of souls and balance within the universe. This is what you are. Do not mind Eoghan. He has opinions.”

“I can do whatever I want with his soul?”

“You can. The only part of its fate that has been sealed is that you will decide how it is replanted upon conclusion of his punishment.”

The devil reappeared in his human form, sat on the picnic blanket, and gently gathered his wife, settling her on his lap with her head resting against his chest. “I enjoyed that.”

“That didn’t take long.” I clasped my fingers together so the seed couldn’t escape from me. “You have his soul, but I have his seed.”

“Yes, that is how it works,” the devil confirmed. “When the seed is ready to be planted, the soul will return to it from my hells. The seed won’t become fertile until the soul has been brought back into balance. Right now, the seed has too much of a capacity for evil. If we were in an era of good, you would consider planting it to bring things back into balance—but for now, he should enjoy my hospitality. View the seed as the spark that brings life, and it holds the soul when life is ready to be made. The seed is not, technically, the soul, but it is only compatible with the soul it belongs to. It’s complicated. The universe typically is.”

“What am I supposed to do with his seed?”

“You could make him a her in the next life. Seeds lack gender. Souls also lack a gender, although when souls are partnered, they tend to keep their original genders. So, let’s assume you and Eoghan partner, and you were mortal, which you are not. Should your seeds be planted again in a future life, you would remain a female, and he would remain a male. Forcing that human to be a woman in the next life would be a fitting punishment.”

“You’re already punishing him. Isn’t the point of you punishing him to make it so I don’t have to?” I peeked between my fingers, and the seed stayed nestled between my palms. “Why isn’t it trying to escape?”

“It can’t. It lacks a soul right now. For the most part, it is an inanimate object.” Lucy chuckled. “For the most part.”

“Why was ‘for the most part’ so important you repeated yourself?”

Eoghan snorted. “He’s the devil. That’s why.”

“I’m hurt, Eoghan,” the devil whined.

“Are you even capable of being hurt?” Azrael asked. “Interesting. Have you truly fallen so far?”