Page 22 of Grave Humor

“His name is Gordon, and he’s currently catching a nap on my couch. I have good curtains in the living room, so he’s safe enough from the burning daystar.”

“I had not been told the vampire—”

“Gordon,” I corrected.

“Gordon was staying with you.”

“Is there a reason he shouldn’t be staying with me? He’s a vampire, not Satan, Lucifer, or whatever you angels call the devil.”

“Any one of those names is an appropriate form of address, although I would caution you about invoking his name. He gets curious and sometimes decides to show up when his name is invoked.”

“Really? I can just say his name and he might appear? Do I need to click my heels together? Should I dress nicely first? How does one go about potentially summoning Christianity’s biggest bad guy?”

“I would not precisely call him the biggest bad guy,” the angel replied. “He is more like the jail warden, although he has, by his very nature, sinned. Other pantheons tend to disapprove of our particular family feud, as they do not rate Lucifer’s sins as worth the punishment he paid for it. Of course, Lucifer does not view his punishment as much of a punishment, either. He is merely grouchy most days of the week. I would be, too, if I had to deal with so many sinners whining over their punishments. Worse, he has to deal with the sinners of the other pantheons, too. Hades quit, and Anubis and the other Egyptian divines are on vacation right now.”

“Hades quit?” I blurted. “The others are on vacation?”

“Why have multiple divines doing the same job? Lucifer does the job well enough, and Hades has picked up some new roles, as have the other divines of death from varying faiths. In truth, not even Lucifer is truly needed. The universe itself ensures the souls can be sorted if there is no one else available for the job. The universe prefers to stay out of mortal affairs, though. The Egyptians will show up and do some of the heavy lifting if Lucifer needs some time off from dealing with the sinners.”

If the angel kept talking, I would develop a headache not even pixie dust could cure. “Is there a reason I need to know this?”

“Yes,” the angel answered.

“No,” Eoghan announced the instant the angel quieted.

Okay. That got my attention and piqued my curiosity. “Why yes? And Eoghan, I’ll ask you why no in a moment.”

Eoghan huffed. “Angels are meddling beasts.”

I regarded the angel, trying to decide how he classified as a beast. “Angels are more like headless humans with wings rather than beasts. Sure, they’re a little creepy, but that’s hardly a reason to call him a beast.”

“A little creepy is more generous than most,” the angel said, his tone amused. “He did not mean beast as in animal, Miss Anwen, but rather in the sense he views me as a monster and a threat. He is not wrong. Lucifer is the one who is typically called the beast, but one might view angels as monsters as well. We have power, and we do not necessarily use our power for the sake of specific humans. Your companion understands the universal laws better than most, and he is aware of what my presence means in its entirety. You’ll find him a most annoying mongrel, although harmless enough to you.”

I snickered, peeking at the incubus, who stretched out on my grass without a care in the world. “Your friend seems to be tired.”

“He is lazy, rather annoying, and determined to vex me as often as possible. You are fortunate he will not challenge your companion for your company. He tends to stick around, worse than any mosquito I have had the misfortune of meeting. It is annoying having to swat those wretched things out of existence. They are not wise enough to leave me alone.”

“What do you need to know about what happened at the funeral home?”

“Primarily, I need to verify you were willing to restore the vampire to his unlife.”

“I was willing. I was aware of the risks when I did it, and Eoghan made a recommendation to make it as safe for me as possible. I would do it again.”

“Thank you for your honesty. And your companion?”

“What about him? I didn’t help him get up. He got up all on his own. He startled me, but that was all. He also spouted some nonsense about sacrifices.”

“In his first era, someone would be chosen to accompany him. It was called a sacrifice because it typically meant that someone would be separated from their family and friends. It was also considered a great honor to be chosen.”

Eoghan grunted.

“His era was weird.”

The angel laughed. “That is very true. It was as weird as this one, although the era of his birth was a much more violent and unpleasant place in many ways. He will need to adapt to the relative peace of modern society.”

“I have noticed he doesn’t like screaming.”

The angel remained quiet for a while. “Yes, I suppose he wouldn’t. What do you call yourself now?”