Page 41 of Forever Flustered

Taking another loud, annoying, drawn-out sip of her coffee before sighing loudly with an ‘Ahhh!’ meant to get at him, she drew in a deep breath, ready to do battle once again - for his smile and her sanity.

“You’re worried,” she said bluntly.

“Yup,” he admitted, holding up his phone screen to her.

“Need a charge?” she volunteered, trying to be peevishly obtuse. It was too early for his dramatics – even if she loved them. Sure enough, his lips parted in disbelief before he frowned again, tapping on the phone screen.

“No, the text messages.”

“Someone’s brain functions earlier than mine,” she shot back, shrugging and moving to take another sip, only to have him take her cup – putting his phone in her hands. “Nope,” she replied simply. “Coffee or no Talkee.”

“Read them.”

“I’m illiterate until nine a.m.,” she retorted, reaching for her cup – only to have him pull it away again as he just sat there with that eyebrow lifted. “If your eyebrow touches your hairline, then you win – and I’ll read them.”

“If… my eyebrow… touches,” he began, and then sighed as her words finally clicked. “Maureen, it’s from my brother – and the rest of the team, apparently. Everyone knows I stayed the night with you.”

“You hoecake!” she whispered – doing her best to look appropriately aghast as he almost took a sip of his coffee, sloshing it over the rim as he did a double-take. “Your reputation is ruined. Scandalous!”

“Be serious – and read the texts.”

“I am serious. I swear as I sit here and breathe - you’re going to have a shirt that says ‘hoecake’ on it someday.”

Eli leveled a glare at her that was telling. Maureen sighed because apparently, Mr. Sourpuss didn’t have a sense of humor in the morning. Opening the phone, she began to read.

Bode: BROOOO… really? You ditched me for some booty?

Bode: I thought you needed my couch? Do we need to have the talk – you know – THE TALK?

Bode: Buzz, buzz bro…

Bode: Hello?

Bode: I hope you aren’t in a ditch somewhere – and if you are, muddy sex with my wife sounds fun. I’m gonna talk to Flora – and go dig up my backyard. Smell ya later!

As she scrolled through his brother’s frequent text messages that started at one in the morning… she saw twenty or so numbers were added to the string of text messages - and smiled. They were just like her, and she loved it. This was good for Eli.

He just didn’t know it yet.

Bode: Guess ol’ Archangel is getting his feathers wet, if ya know what I mean – wink-wink, nudge-nudge! I’m so proud of my brother!

Caboose: Sidewinder – it’s two-thirty in the morning. Crawl into a hole, buddy…

Valkyrie: And die. Anyone texting from midnight to four a.m. better be on death’s door, or I might put them there…

Hot Cakes: Hang on, I cannot sleep with that bombshell about our feathery friend…

Armadillo: He doesn’t have feathers – but he does have that weird-gargoyle-y look. Same thing?

Romeo: It’s the nose…

Armadillo: Like a ski jump…

Glory: Sidewinder has that same thing – Olympic ski jump, I swear!

Romeo: Oh crap, now Glory is texting?

Thumper: Am I the only one in Yonder that sleeps?