Page 96 of Depraved

Pressing my fist against my chest, I glared at him. “This is my doing. I caused this, so this is my fight. Not yours.”

“Then why is Ink on it too? Why are you letting him in?”

“Because it’s the only way to keep his rage from consuming him.”

Onyx pulled his hair out of his face, cheeks red and eyes wild. He took a deep breath. “I know you and I have had our differences. And we don’t always see eye to eye. But you are still my brother, Granite. I still love you. And I can’t stand to watch you carry this burden alone.”

“It’s my burden to carry.”

“No, it’s not.” He shook his head. “No one blames you. Not even Ink blames you for what happened.”

“She does.” I bit my lip as the words left my mouth, Onyx’s stone expression softening a little.

“Only because she doesn’t know. She doesn’t understand. But once you tell her⁠—”

“No.” I cut him off mid-sentence. “She doesn’t have to know anything.”

“What? Why? Granite, Alyx is busy killing herself over this.”

I snorted. “The only reason she’s unhappy is because of me. Because of what I let happen.”

Onyx let out a laugh that sounded more manic than sincere. “God, you’re fucking clueless. Dude, as much as she blames you, she’s blaming herself for what happened to Neon.”

I balked. “What?”

“Yeah.” He raised a brow. “The way Alyx sees it, if it wasn’t for her and this fucking obsession you have with her⁠—”

I shot him a questioning look.

“Oh, yeah,” he tapped his finger against his chest, “I know. In fact, everyone fucking knows that your idea to use Alyx was never just about avenging Dad’s death. Rule number one, big brother—never underestimate your team. It’s insulting.”

I rested my elbows on my knees, rubbing my fists together while avoiding eye contact with Onyx. “None of this is Alyx’s fault. I don’t know why she’d even think that.”

Onyx stepped forward. “Because she has a heart. She sees things differently than we do. We’re a bunch of thick-skinned, hard-assed criminals who learned how to thrive in a cruel world. But Alyx? She’s part of that little bit of good that’s left in the world, Granite. So, when bad shit happens, it poisons her because she’s…Jesus”—he took a breath—“because she’s…pure.”

I regarded my brother, watching his face while he spoke about her. I’d be blind not to see it. “You have feelings for her, don’t you?”

“What?” He froze. “No.”

I got up and straightened. “Cut the bullshit, Onyx. I’ve seen the way you look at her. I’ve seen you going to her room, checking up on her. As you said, we’re thick-skinned, hard-assed criminals. And we don’t go around caring for people out of the goodness of our hearts. You care for Alyx.”

His silence was all the answer I needed. In fact, I didn’t need him to say anything. I knew it was true. I knew it even before the shit hit the fan with Neon and Slither. Onyx cared for her the second he pulled the trigger that night, killing the guy holding a gun to her head. Couldn’t say I blamed him. Alyx had this pull to her, like a magnetic field that was too strong to fight. She was this fragile little thing, yet somehow she was bigger than all of us. Onyx knew it. I knew it. Even Neon knew it.

Onyx bit his lower lip, sucking it into his mouth as if he were trying to stop the words from coming out. Glancing in the other direction, he tucked his hair behind his ears before facing me again. “You’re right. I do care about her, and the man in me hates that she’s hurting because of you.”

Jesus Christ, I couldn’t even open my mouth because I was too busy fighting the urge to knock his motherfucking teeth out. All I could do without losing my shit was flare my nostrils while slowly tearing him apart with a glare.

Onyx smirked, as if he knew I was teetering on the edge of turning savage on my own blood. He wiped his palm down his face. “But don’t worry, brother. I’m not going to let history repeat itself. You know why?”

“Enlighten me,” I gritted out with a clenched jaw.

“Because this time I’m smart enough to realize she belongs to you. And this time I’m man enough to walk away without resenting you for it.”

My anger went from boiling to simmering, slowly turning down the heat searing my veins. Onyx and I had history that spread far from being mere brothers.

We once loved the same girl, and neither of us was willing to let go. It wrecked us both and left scars in our relationship that would probably never go away. But it didn’t destroy the bond we shared—not completely, anyway. Hearing my brother admit he had feelings for Alyx was a hard pill to swallow. But the fact that he would walk away so easily earned him my respect as a brother, and as a man.

I approached him, holding out my hand for a handshake. He eyed me cautiously before placing his hand in mine, pulling us together for a one-armed hug and a pat on the shoulder.