Page 82 of Depraved

Tears streamed down my face, dripping off my cheeks to join the pool of blood on the floor. I hung my head, and I could see my arms dangling, streaks of blood trickling down my skin…my hands…my fingers. Jesus, my fingers.

I moved my hand, opening my palm, and when I saw the gaping hole where my forefinger was supposed to be, terror slammed against my throat, and I couldn’t breathe. The raw ache of open flesh tore up my arm, and I could hear my heartbeat inside my head, throbbing pulses of pain violently zapping through me.

When my gaze dropped to the floor, I could see my severed finger surrounded by and covered with blood.

“It’s only fair for you to lose a finger since your friend suffered through the same.”

Again, I tried to look around, to see where the voice came from. But the more I tried to move, the stronger the pain became.

“God, you look exquisite up there. Like a swan.” A manic laugh filled the empty hollows in the room. “Swan Lake.”

The blood in my veins froze.

Swan Lake.

Neon.

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

ALYX

I lost track of time. Amazing how time no longer existed the moment you decided to not care about anything anymore. When your mind was vacant and your body numb, time lost its hold on you. Not even the tick of the clock could keep you anchored, stopping you from drifting away into the void of nothingness, a place where minutes felt like seconds, and seconds felt like hours. Days passed without a sun or a moon, without a beginning or an end, just like the hell I had stumbled into. There was no past, no present, and no future. There was only this, a state of mindlessness where nothing mattered anymore.

It no longer mattered that I had been under the devil’s spell for so long.

It no longer mattered that I allowed the devil to seduce me.

It no longer mattered that the devil let a life bleed out because of me.

Nothing. Mattered.

Every breath I took no longer mattered.

Every beat of my heart no longer mattered.

Nothing. Mattered. Not even him. Especially him.

My eyes fluttered, wanting to open, but I willed them not to. The pain was too much. I could feel it burn all the way through my spine, my skin slowly turning to ash.

I had no idea where I was, and I didn’t care. All I remembered was being scooped up from the floor by the cold arms of the devil, then carried out while the world around me blurred with my own tears.

I didn’t feel anything. The last time I looked into the green eyes of the devil, it was also the last time I felt something. It was his words that paralyzed me, killing everything I needed to feel human. While he carried me, the icy chill of his presence spread throughout my body. But he no longer scared me. Burning in hell with him no longer frightened me. Maybe I deserved the flames. Maybe I deserved to be turned into nothing but ash. A life was lost because of me, because of the devil’s obsession with me. Maybe my life should have been lost as well, a way to atone for what my existence had caused. It would only be fair.

But fair no longer mattered.

My eyelids twitched, and the urge to open them was stronger than before. The flames burning my skin went from searing to raging, and my body felt heavy, as if gravity was trying to pull me toward it, twisting and yanking, yet I couldn’t move.

Everything ached. There was so much pain I couldn’t pinpoint where it stemmed from. It was everywhere, penetrating deep into the marrow of my bones.

Something wet trickled from the corner of my eye and down my nose until it disappeared. Was that a tear? Was I crying?

Finally, the urge to open my eyes proved too strong, so I opened them. At first, everything was blurry, hazy, one bright sight of white. But when I tried to wipe my eyes, I couldn’t move my arm. Every limb felt like dead weight, the pain becoming stronger by the second.

I moved my lips, wanting to ask where I was, but my mouth was taped shut. I couldn’t talk. I couldn’t move. What the hell was happening? All I managed were a few moaning sounds vibrating up my throat.

A few blinks later, my vision became clearer, but I still couldn’t figure out what was going on. Then I noticed a bright pool of crimson below me. Blood. My blood. I could see drops dripping down from where I was, joining the pool on the floor.

Oh, God.