Page 48 of Depraved

Onyx straightened his jacket. “Sure thing, brother. Just know that having her won’t make you feel any less guilty about Kate.”

I couldn’t stop it. Those words triggered an automatic reaction, and when I blinked, it was too late. My fist connected with Onyx’s jaw, blood splattering from his mouth and onto the white kitchen tiles. But Onyx was a big motherfucker, just like me, and my punch didn’t make him go down. Instead, he launched at me, slamming his shoulder into my midsection. The air exploded from my lungs, pain shooting up my chest. My back hit the wall, and I wrapped my arm around his neck, trying to force him up so I could beat his face to a fucking pulp. But Dutch grabbed Onyx by his cut, pulling him off me and shoving him to the other side of the kitchen.

“Stop this shit, both of you!” Dutch glared from Onyx to me, and back to Onyx. “This is not the time or the right fucking topic to lose your shit over. What the fuck is wrong with you two?”

Onyx spat out some blood then wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, glowering at me. “Stop pretending that this is all about avenging Dad’s death. Because it’s not, and we both know it.” Then he left, storming out of the kitchen.

Dutch turned to me. “What the fuck, Granite?”

I straightened. “Little shit doesn’t know what the fuck he’s talking about.”

“I think he does.”

I paused and frowned at Dutch. “What?”

“Your brother is right. I’ve known this all along, I just didn’t say anything.”

“Dutch—”

“It’s about what we saw that night, isn’t it?” He placed his hands on his sides. “Don’t deny it, Granite. I knew it would fuck with your head. God knows, it fucked with mine. But I knew it was different for you. I saw it on your goddamn face while you watched it all go down.”

I lifted my hand, pointing at him while I clenched my jaw. “You don’t know shit.”

Dutch moved closer, the hard expression on his face meant to tell me he wasn’t afraid to take me on. “Look me in the motherfucking eye and tell me that your decision to take Alyx wasn’t made that very same night we witnessed what her mother did to her.”

My nostrils flared, air rushing out of my lungs in angry waves. But I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t say it. Dutch was my best friend, and no one knew me better than he did.

“Can you tell me she doesn’t remind you of Kate? Of my sister?”

I looked everywhere except at him. I couldn’t.

“Thought so.” He took a step closer, eyes focused and serious. “I said this a thousand times before, and I’ll say it again. It’s not your fault. My sister made her own choices. Not you, not me, not Onyx…no one could have changed what happened.”

“I could,” I bit out. “I could have changed it.”

“No. No, you couldn’t. Even if you told someone, it still would have ended the same way.”

My regret turned to anger, and I grabbed Onyx’s beer bottle from the table, flinging it across the room, glass shattering as it hit the wall.

Dutch didn’t move. He didn’t even flinch. It wasn’t the first time he witnessed me lose my shit because of old fucked-up memories that just never let go of me.

“It’s been going on for years, you and Alyx.” Dutch lit a smoke. “I’ve seen you two look at each other whenever we paid the police commissioner a visit.”

I didn’t even try to deny it.

Dutch blew out some smoke. “But after we saw what her psychopath mother did, I knew it was only a matter of time.”

“Matter of time before what?”

A half-grin crawled up at the corners of his mouth. “Before you took her.”

“You make me sound like a fucking psychopath.”

He snorted. “Not a psychopath, no.” He shrugged. “Obsessed, maybe. But not a psychopath.”

Silence moved in around us, and I stared at the broken pieces of glass on the floor. “It’s not just because of her.” I turned to Dutch. “All this is not just because of Alyx…or your sister.”

“I know. And that’s why you got my vote at church. We can fuck up the Pythons with this, even if it’s not your only motivation. But you need to keep your head in the game.”