Page 100 of Depraved

I put my lid on and climbed on my Harley. The start of the engine roared, and it instantly calmed the blood burning in my veins. There was nothing like controlling a beast between your legs, the vibration and sound of pipes singing to your soul while the freedom to soar into the unknown calmed your anger and cleared your mind.

I looked at Dutch, and he nodded. A silent sign of comradery, respect, and support.

No matter what I decided.

CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE

ALYX

The water felt soft against my skin. Warm and soothing. I couldn’t remember the last time I took a bath. After Granite had disappeared on me earlier, I had to do something to try to settle my mind, my thoughts.

Looking down at my naked body stretched in the tub, it was visible even to me that I had lost more weight. Mommy dearest would have been proud to see her daughter starve herself, no matter what the reason.

I banished the thought of her as quickly as it popped into my head. There was no way I’d be able to deal with those demons as well while I fought another devil.

The hairs on my legs were longer than they’d been in years. Shaving wasn’t exactly a priority while you were kidnapped and held prisoner. Personal grooming was the farthest thing from my mind.

I turned my leg to the side, looking at the tattoo on my inner thigh. It healed well, the scabs gone, and the skull was perfect…unlike its leader.

The tattoo made me think of Red. My best friend. She was probably going out of her mind already. How long had it been? How long was it since they took me—since I got plummeted into the darkest corner of the devil’s lair?

Days? Weeks? Months? Probably not months. But it seemed like forever.

I closed my eyes, trying to think of my life before all this happened. It was weird, but I couldn’t remember much. All I saw was him. Granite. Everywhere. Even when reaching for the most distant memory, all I saw was him. His face. All I felt was him, his touch, his kiss. It was like he had always been there. As if he had always been the center point in my life. The harder I tried not to think of him, the more he ended up possessing every corner of my mind. Even Neon’s friendly face and blue hair started to retreat to the background, making way for the president of the American Street Kings.

A ruthless leader.

A merciless ruler.

A cruel king.

I was in love with a man without a heart. I had given my body and my soul to a man who was incapable of feeling anything. How could I have been so stupid? How could I have been so reckless with my heart by giving it to a man who cherished nothing? Not even life.

Tears slipped down my cheeks. I’d been crying so much I hardly noticed the wet droplets of sorrow anymore.

I slipped down, pulling my head under the water. For those few seconds, I was numb, water rushing into my ears muffling out the sound of my breathing. Everything felt so far, like the water had the power to distance me from the world. But it didn’t take away the image of his face, and it didn’t numb the way my heart ached for him. Problem was, my heart ached for Neon too. When I was stuck in that nightmare, taking Neon’s place on the hooks, I was terrified. I had never been so scared in my life. I could only imagine what it had been like for her as reality. For her, it wasn’t just a nightmare. It was real.

Unable to stomach the thought, I pushed myself up and out of the water, wiping my hair back as I dried my face with my palms. When I opened my eyes, I knew he was there.

“You’re back,” I murmured without looking at him.

He didn’t say anything. Like earlier, he was just there, his presence taking up every last space in the room.

I brushed my cheek against my shoulder, closing my eyes again. “Will you say something this time?”

Silence.

I let out a breath, trying to relieve a little of the ache that throbbed inside my chest. For a moment, I concentrated on him, his presence, trying to bathe myself in it. Maybe even lose myself in it. All this time, I was nothing but a fool trying to convince myself that I hated him, but the truth was…I hated the thought of never being with him again more.

I heard his footsteps. Slow. Loud. Coming closer. I didn’t dare open my eyes. I was afraid he’d disappear again, and I didn’t want him to leave. I hated that I didn’t want him to leave.

With my cheek still against my shoulder, legs pressed against my chest, I remained still. “Please say something.”

Silence…and then…

“I’m sorry…ballerina girl.”

Sobs erupted out of nowhere. The sound of his voice was so close, I could feel the warmth of his breath on my wet skin, and it hurt. It hurt so much, it was like the pain tried to break free from my bones.