Page 75 of Married to the Duke By Midnight

“Fine, then you are not in love with Jo. You only love her.” Thornston’s voice was dripping with sarcasm.

“I… no,” Robert said instinctively even as he felt the words in his chest. Like a warmth spreading as he allowed it to. A rightness. “Perhaps maybe… but only as a family member… the same as my siblings…”

The thought did not sit well with him though. The way he felt for Jo was different from what he felt for his sisters and Xavier. For Thornston. For his mother. It was much fiercer than his feelings for any of them.

“But if I’m in love with her, why doesn’t it feel the same as it did with Lucretia?” He was mostly asking himself, but Thornston answered anyway.

“I can’t say, but from the outside, what you had with Lady Egerton never looked like love. It looked like she was toying with you, and you were too blinded by her…” he cleared his throat, “cunt, to be able to see it.”

“Blast it, Thornston, don’t talk about her like that,” Robert reprimanded him, even though the words felt a little too true.

Ever since Lucretia had dismissed him, he had sometimes wondered whether the inferno he thought was a testament to the strength of their love was instead a sign that it was unhealthy.

“Fine, I beg your pardon. The real question is what you want to do about your Jo predicament. Showing up and telling her you love her should help matters, but it will only get you so far. How are you going to apologize?”

Robert played with the sand again. She had told him that he did not know her. And he had to show her that he did. Deeply. That he would never cross the boundaries they set. It was paramount to him that she understood.

He did not know what his feelings for her meant. But he knew he needed her. Beside him. Always. But how could he show his affection for Jo?

When the idea struck him, Robert looked at his friend with a blinding smile.

“I think I know how. Do you have a pencil and paper?”

34

Jo’s cottage was right by the slopes down to the beach overlooking the sea. It was smaller than Robert had thought. Only half the size or less of the house they had been staying in in Brighton. It had a thatched roof and half-timbered walls. Both looked well-kept though.

It was standing at a ninety-degree angle with the sea at the shortest side facing it and the broadest facing the road on one side and the garden on the other. Dog roses were blooming around the entrance door, giving the place a vibrant and colorful look.

Just like Jo, Robert thought.

A prickle of nerves traveled down his arms at being so close to her.

Robert hesitantly jumped from the horse. There was a small stable off the side of the cottage, but he was not certain whether it was in use. Jo had ridden in his carriage there, but it was not in sight. She must send for it, when she needed it, since he had asked his driver and the footman to remain in the area with her.

Robert walked to the stable, but as he suspected, it was empty. It smelled of fresh hay and horse manure though, which indicated that horses did live here. Perhaps Jo was out. He glanced back at the cottage. He could not see anyone, but she had specifically invited him for three o’clock today.

After arriving at the inn two days ago, he had sent her a note telling her that he was staying there and asking whether it was too close and if he should leave. He had held his breath when he received the first note, dreading having to travel to Riddlesmarsh Hall alone. The note had, however, only said: You can stay.

Robert’s shoulders had lowered, but only slightly. He was not being dismissed, but she also did not sound welcoming. He had spent the day around the inn, going on a ride where he kept as far away from the coast as possible to minimize any chances that he might come across Jo. He had eaten alone in the private parlor, relieved that he did not have to talk to someone, yet wishing someone was there. No, not someone. Jo. He had wanted to tell her about the innkeeper who kept saying: “Indeed, Your Grace” to everything Robert said and hear her gush over the puppies who lived in the stables.

Late last night a note had arrived that invited him for tea at the cottage. Jo had written it; he knew her handwriting by now, but it was in the style of someone writing to a mere acquaintance. More impersonal even, since she did not even use his title, let alone his given name. If it had been sent to another, it would have been rude. But perhaps that was the point.

Robert undid the buckles of the horse’s harness and saddle, brushing the horse over briefly with a whisk of hay, before he let it into one of the small boxes. He slowly walked toward the cottage, not knowing what to expect. His stomach bubbled with nerves and he felt sick. This was the most important meeting of his life, and he had no clue what awaited him.

Usually, when entering into a negotiation with an opponent from the House of Lords, he had a good idea of where they stood, what the other party wanted and was willing to give, and what he was. But now he had no sources and only knew he would be willing to give everything, make every promise, for the situation to be right again. Grovel, beg, plead, cry, as long as Jo would look at him the way she had previously.

He did not have time to knock before the door opened. Jo was standing there in one of her new dresses, a midnight blue day dress that reminded him of the evening dress that had started everything between them only three weeks ago.

Robert gulped at the sight of her. Her nose was even more freckled than when she left Brighton. Her hair even brighter. She must have spent a lot of time outside. Walking, contemplating the future of their marriage, most likely. And now she was ready to pass a verdict.

“Jo…” Robert began breathlessly as he looked into her eyes.

Jo’s blue-grey eyes held his. He thought he caught longing in them, before she abruptly looked away and stepped back.

“Come in,” she told him and held the door for him. “I have given the servants the day off. It will just be us.”

Even though he knew he was there for another reason, it still sent a thrill down his spine. The two of them completely alone. But Jo had not sent her servants away to be intimate with him. He was there for an entirely different reason, he reminded his body as he walked inside.