Page 61 of Married to the Duke By Midnight

She was thankful that Robert did not ask her to meet his eyes when he finally spoke.

“I was,” he simply said and Jo was monumentally relieved by his use of the past tense.

He told her briefly of his meeting with Lady Egerton, now Princess Lucretia, that they had been lovers and that he had expected her to marry him after her husband died.

“Were you heartbroken?” Jo asked in a whisper.

Robert sighed as his eyes roamed the bookcase, probably in search of an answer.

“Not the way you hear about in poems. But I suspect that poets feel more deeply than other people or simply magnify emotions for dramatic effect.”

Jo did not know how to reply to such an answer.

“And my vanity suffered quite a bit. I honestly never thought a woman would choose another over me for having a higher title.”

This made Jo chuckle and she could not help but meet his eyes briefly.

“Yes, it must be rather inconvenient only being a duke,” she teased him, and the corners of his eyes crinkled when he smiled.

Jo felt the swirl in her stomach again, only stronger and more potent this time. She remembered seeing him smile at something Thornston had said at the Thistleworth ball and wishing that she could make him smile in the same way and now she had.

“Will you tell me if you ever fall in love with someone else?” Jo asked as she studied her hands. “I know one cannot control such feelings and I just… I would hate to hear it from someone else. Like a maid.”

“Jo,” Robert told her in a low, urgent voice. She was surprised when he leaned forward and took her hand. She slowly met his eyes. “I cannot imagine that would happen again. What I felt for Lucretia, it was…” He blew out a breath as he tightened his hand around hers. “It felt like once in a lifetime. I can never imagine feeling that level of…”

“I understand,” Jo muttered. Each of his words felt like an awl through her chest. Perfectly aimed pinpricks that she might have survived one of but were lethal in combination.

“I hope you do, Jo,” Robert told her quietly as he studied her.

Jo met his eyes while she fought the urge to flee the room and cry into her pillow. She was desperately struggling to keep tears at bay now.

She had always known that she was an acquired taste. She had imagined that if she ever fell in love, it would be after years of acquaintance. She could not expect Robert to have fallen in love with her after two weeks. She could not expect him to fall in love with her at all. If she had been interested in a love match, she would never have chosen him. It was a marriage of convenience and Robert was very convenient.

“It is my turn to be honest with you now,” Robert said as he turned her hand to lace his fingers with hers.

Why did her body heat at his touch when her heart was crumbling inside?

“I want there to be a partnership between the two of us. A friendship. I want us to come together in the bedroom as often as you are comfortable with. And I have to say that I want you as often as possible.”

Jo felt her body heat further at the words and at the memory of the pleasure he had brought her the day before yesterday. Her body was craving it as well. All the while her mind was reeling with his use of the word friendship. Two weeks ago, it would have been more than she could have ever hoped for. And now it felt… not enough.

She did not know when she had started hoping for more, whether she was even feeling more than friendship and desire toward Robert at the moment, but it grated on her that he was certain there could not be.

“But I also want to respect your boundaries. If you are not comfortable with it yet, we can wait. We can follow your original plan or make a new plan… What is most important for me is that you are comfortable with this and don’t feel rushed or pushed into something that you are not ready for.”

He was so kind and considerate that Jo’s chest ached.

She wanted the intimate relations between them to work just as badly as he did. She wanted them to come together and if a friendship and a partnership were all he could ever offer her, she had to accept it. They were married and she wanted the best possible outcome from the situation.

The image of her, Robert and their future children on the beach at Lymington appeared in her mind. She wanted that. She wanted them to raise a family together, and even if Robert could never love her, she felt certain that her children would. And with five of them, there would be plenty of love.

And the way to create those children was to become comfortable with being intimate with Robert. She looked at him with determination even though she was still feeling shy about what she was going to propose.

“I don’t want us to create a new list or wait any longer. I am not… I am not ready to consummate our marriage yet, but I would like to explore the physical side of our relationship more and…” She gulped at the intensity in Robert’s eyes. His green eyes were flaring with his desire for her. “And I would like us to form a partnership as well,” she forced herself to say loudly and clearly.

Robert’s smile was devastating as he leaned forward to kiss her.

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